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    PlanetQuake | Features | Articles | Political Arena Debate One
   

Political Arena Debate One
With the race heating up between the two major forces in the US Presidential race, PQ is here to help voters cut through the various versions of the truth.
  — by Pappy R

With the help of the Political Arena for Quake III, we've been able to get much more firm results on the major party debates in the US Presidential race. Since I'm a kind hearted Canuck, I can be impartial and help you US voters through this harrowing time. Or is it that I don't give a stanky rat's butt who becomes the next US President, you decide, but either way, I don't have a favourite in this horse race.

The clear way to decide on who wins and loses a debate has never been easier. Just grab some Political Arena candidate bots and choose the arena and game style for them to "debate in. I elected to have the Democrats and Republicans battle it out in Quake III standard CTF and the battle ground would be the void infested ramparts of Q3Tourney_CTF. Politics was never this much fun, well maybe it was in the dark ages, but not even I'm that old.

The contestants lined up and romped around the space level getting the feel for their bases and the jump pads. Gore was more than a bit showy, grabbing the first rail he saw and proudly proclaiming, "I invented the Internet". Of course that was mere seconds before he calmly walked off the platform to his death. Well, my RAM had loaded and the bots were itching to go, so one level restart and we were off!

Immediately the Presidential Candidates grabbed firm ground and we saw who ran the campaigns when the VP candidates were both off and running for the other parties flag. Gore and Bush held firm on defense. It was a quick grab for the Republican's as Dick Cheney hit the blue flag with an RL assault and a quick jab; "One of the reasons we were successful from a military perspective was because we had very clear-cut military objectives." He then bitchslapped Gore again and ran off unmolested for the first Capture of the game.

Somebody missed keeping tabs on Leiberman 'cause he scooped that Republican flag as quick as a photo op and with a battle cry of, "There is no carrot. Only the stick!", he was back at his campaign HQ with a fresh cap to tie the debate at one all. Now the candidates went into a feeding frenzy, and tactics went right out the window. Dick "I voted against various worthy programs" Cheney seemed to slip a cog and went straight for the BFG up high. He grabbed it and went on a spree clearing the way for his presidential hopeful, George W. Bush to snag the Democrat Blue banner and ride it all the way home for a sweet point. He then stood motionless to exclaim, "I think we agree, the past is over." Yeah...whatever George, you may wanna move now. Too late, Gore took his head off clean with a long rail from home.

Dick Cheney was incensed by this and still carrying the hefty BFG, powered his way into the Democratic home base and snagged the flag only to fall prey to a Leiberman powered rail shot halfway home, and dropped his BFG and the flag into the abyss. Joe wasted no time in gaining the upper hand and the next capture to tie the game again. He then made an amazing second complete run to bring the Democrats up by one for the first time. Being politicians, the capture seemed to prompt a verbal out burst, and Joe just had to take a moment to speak in his glory. "There is a significant core of increasingly graphic, gruesome, and perverse games that ... are commonly played by children." He was then knocked flat by George Bush who was on a rocket-powered run to the Democrat's flag. Buh bye Joe.

The Cheney-Bush train was then unstoppable for two caps in a row, and they even managed to squish Gore on the BFG platform to add insult to injury. Gore then went back to a defensive posture fielding questions and assaults with calm and strategic flair. "I am proud of what I did... but I won't do it again." The flurry of bodies and Rail trails was so thick, I'm still not sure what he meant by that, but his defense was outstanding, and Joe Leiberman was on what seemed to be an unending flag run. He got it, lost it, got it and so on for almost five solid minutes while Gore held the Republicans at the door.

The gibs, the blood, the slaughter was immense, so I stopped watching the televised debate and again turned my attention to the bot ballet on my comp. The Republicans were again showing control. They couldn't be stopped when going for the flag any longer. Gore had run out of ammo and was wildly running around his base with his gauntlet buzzing. Cheney seemed to like that and taunted Gore into position to rocket him into oblivion. Half way down you could see the Gore chat arise, "A zebra does not change its spots." Someone has to tell these guys that they're not being recorded.

Dick was hot. Answering questions on economic growth, health care and depleting resources while George had his hands full defending the base from attack. Dick also found the time to deal damage and death blows along the way to the final three caps of the game. The 6th and 7th caps came fairly easy to him with the competition spread widely, but the last cap was hell. The Democrats went all defense, creating a wall of quotes and rocket blasts. Joe spouting "We as a nation cannot afford to make Barney Rubble investments in a George Jetson world." while laying down rocket fire. Gore was still handy with a rail and plucked at Bush from afar. Cheney made it though. On a hard fought run into enemy ground, weakened for the return trip, he limped home to grab the final capture and point of the night for his team. Republicans 1...Democrats 0. But this race is far from over.

Stay tuned for more trips into the Political Arena, and you'll be invited in as well. PQ will be hosting some debates for prizes in the very near future, and we hope to clear the air on who stands for what in the US Presidential race. Our thanks to the Political Arena project for the bots and texture files required to carry this off. The quotes and paraphrases were supplied by the Political Arena and it's fans submissions. Visit them soon to get the models and files you'll need to take part in upcoming PQ events. Remember, the politicians are gonna ramble on for a while yet, so let's have some fun with it.

Questions? Comments? Random screaming? Send it to feedback@planetquake.com!


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