Haiku Quake Winners!
You wrote 'em - now see if you were one of the winners!
crap. Remind me the next time I start a contest like this
to stab myself in the eyes with sharp, rusty spikes first
to save myself the pain. You guys really dug out the haiku
skillz - I got over 200 entries! It was difficult narrowing
them down to a handful that we could judge, but we did it.
The only problem is, Pappy-R has been talking in haiku only
for about a week now.
we get to the winners, take a little stroll through the wordsmithing
with ol' Hellchick for just a moment...
and the Art of Deathmatch
the haiku poured in (Oh God, please make the bad people stop),
I noticed that a few of them tended to fall into some noticeable
categories: those that used the gauntlet because the word
"humiliation" conveniently has five syllables, those
that actually tried to stay within the haiku nature theme,
and those that expressed the message, "I'm writing this
damn haiku just to win something, so give it to me, dammit!"
are a couple of great ones sent in with the gauntlet theme:
I succumb to the love-glove.
Stephen E. Manis
Guantlet spins in hand
Bend over for my pain stick
stole my armor!
my gauntlet will fix you good!
couple of people figured they'd tell it like it is - they
just wanted some swag.
Planet Quake Staff,
allways making us write shit.
Lets just play some Quake!!
the best web site in the world
GIVE ME A DAMN SHIRT!
PQ: great contest.
You'd better give me a prize
Or I'll rail your ass.
was another one of my personal favorites, although it wasn't
picked as a winner:
hides in darkness
Set vid_gamma 0.2
Ha! I see you now.
really liked the following email - it came complete with an
explanation for each haiku about what the author was trying
is only for
no skill rich low ping bastards
Lag always beats me
like to draw attention to the subtle self contradicting
ironies of the first two lines, they blend together to expand
the readers thoughts showing the fine web of interconnection
between skill, accuracy, connection speed, socio-economic
bracketing, weapon choice all presented under the guise
of a no skill llama. Of course some might say 'only' is
two syllables in which case I present the following analysis
of LAN play in my flat
Pee One Three Three
Opponent Four Times Better
Yet I Still Whop Arse
simple tale of superior playing skill overcoming inferior
technology. Scene two games of Action Quake 2, flatmate
has G3 with 192MB memory and is server, I have P133 (non
MMX) and 48MB of memory, He has Voodoo 3, I have Voodoo
Rush. He has 3 times my frame rate (at the very least) I
win both games. Unfortunately I have never repeated the
feat. An my final two haikus.
Quake is Good
Drop Through Cable Car Hatch and
Kill Friend with Shotgun
Quake is Good
Very Very Very Very Very Very Good
Planet Quake is Good
more great haiku!