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    PlanetQuake | Features | Articles | Jube's Just Desserts
   

Jube's Just Desserts
Once Jube posted about that "Pappy comic", the challenge was laid. Now who would be laid to rest?
  — by Pappy-R


It's time to put up, or shut up.

Jube started to pester me to post news on the 3 Finger Salute comic strip that made fun of the way some gamers treat me, and I declined. As soon as it was her turn at the news, she posted that puppy quick, even when she knew there would be bills to pay on it. I asked the readers what I should do about it and got replies that ranged from a Q3 match to setting her up on dates with readers. Being as I couldn't figure out who would lose on the date deal, I opted for the Quake III 1 on 1 game, with a couple helpful extras. I'd play her on her server, and on her choice of map. But was I setting myself up for a fall?

We got together in IRC before and after the match to trash talk a bit and I think we actually got into it pretty good. At least I was pumped up from her comments and ready to throw down.

I asked her to join me in my staff room, where I asked if she was ready to have at it. Taking bravado to the max she replied that "ready" had nothing to do with it. She'd be willing to school me anytime, but I was ready for it? Less talk and more walk was my request which brought out the fire in her. "Bring it on skippy, 'cause a world of hurt is what you're in for" was her scathing retort.

Oh, this is gonna hurt somebody, and bad!

As you can see, since I'm writing this peice, I took the game, and I'd hoped, her perky little attitude for a ride, but I was wrong. We met in IRC after the game for a little post game patter where her attutude remained unwavering, even after the beating she took in the arena of her choosing. The only reason I can think of as to why she chose Q3DM3 was that it lacked a Railgun, but that had no effect on the outcome as far as I can see.

Pappy: Is that it or do you need more?

Jube: I was just getting warmed up on your ass! Gimme another shot!

Pappy: Another shot?! At what, yourself? Nice self kill there bud. BTW, what were you shooting at? I wasn't even out there!

Jube: But you were thinking about it, weren't you? Made ya change your mind and think twice didn't it?

Pappy: Umm, sure. Made me think about letting you alone to neg yourself right out of the game. I had to stop laughing too. It made me run into walls and even allowed you two frags by the end.

I'm not sure what happened because I wasn't even out here!
Jube: Camper!

Pappy-R: OK, let's go for another then. If you need more convincing, I'm here for ya.

Jube: Aren't I on the news right now? I guess I'm too busy to really kick your butt around the block. Lucky you!

Pappy-R: OK killer, here's your options. We dance again or you can help me challenge the world for prizes. Your choice...take your time.

Jube: Well, I'll be on your side, but only for the readers! It's not like I'm scared or anything.

Pappy-R: Of course you're not scared, but you're not stupid either it seems. Good choice.Now I suggest you go practice not running into firefights unprepared, stop shouting "Banzai" and work on not kiiling yourself when there's no danger around. I'll go collect some swag to give away because after this game, I think the readers are going to be winning some booty from us.

Jube: I'll not lose again! No way! They're all going down like a toilet seat! I have the power!

Pappy-R Well you have spirit, I'll give you that. And guts, lots of guts! I know because there's still some of your guts on my screen. Nice catch on those rockets bud.

Jube: ...bastard.

Soon it'll be your turn people. You'll have to face us and frag us for the prizes I'm collecting even as I write this so ready up!
Schooled!


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