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    PlanetQuake | Features | Articles | Liberation Of A Clone
   

Liberation of a Clone
Take one evil clone, a bunch of Q3A bots, Lee'Mon, Spyke, and Jerry Springer, and what do you get? We don't know either, but it's all right here.
  — by Lee'Mon

 

Note from Lee'Mon: Spyke and I were preparing for our latest Gauntlet, Spawn Campers vs. Telefraggers. I asked Spyke to make sure the Evil Lee'Mon Clone was still chained up before we began. After all, I had seen this website started by fans attempting to free the EL'MC, and I wasn't about to take any chances.

Unfortunately, as I prepared to jump on our special Gauntlet server, I heard Spyke call to me from the basement. "Lee'Mon!" he shouted. "I think you better see this..."

Meanwhile, on the Gauntlet server, a hijacking was taking place...


Jerry: Hello, everyone, and welcome to a very special "Jerry Springer."

Evil Lee'Mon Clone: Quake.

Jerry: I'm sorry?

EL'MC: You forgot to say Quake.

Jerry: Oh, boy. Do I have to?

EL'MC: It's my show, Springhead, regardless of who's name is on it. You go by MY rules, or it gets messy. Ka-peesh?

Jerry: Alright... Welcome to a very special QUAKE edition of "Jerry Springer." I say it's very special because A, today's episode will take place entirely within the confines of virtual reality, and B, because I have a... what is this again?

EL'MC: That's a railgun.

Jerry: Railgun, right. I have a railgun pointed at my head. Granted, this IS virtual reality, but after watching "The Matrix," one can never be too careful, eh?

EL'MC: Just remember, Springer. Uranium slugs at the speed of light make for BAD hair days.

Jerry: Right. Well, being as this is inside a computer, we have our stage set up in the middle of what I'm told is Q-3-D-M-6, more commonly known as "The Camping Grounds." And we've got a wonderful audience of computer-controlled bots up above...

Sarge: What's the holdup?

Grunt: When's the fighting start?

Crash: Where's the ladies' room? I need to powder my helmet.

Jerry: Our subject for today is "My Coworker Is Using My Evil Clone To Try And Kill Me!" And seeing as how my menacing hijacker here is the Evil Lee'Mon Clone, it only makes sense that our first guess is the original. So, ladies and gents, let's give it up for Lee'Mon!

Lee'Mon entered the game

Anarki: Send in the clones!

Slash: That's it. I don't know you, we've never met.

Jerry: Okay, Lee'Mon, have a seat.

Lee'Mon: [looks around] You've got to be kidding.

Jerry: [blinks] Ah, no chairs. Fair enough. Lee'Mon, could you explain why we're here today?

Lee'Mon: Don't look at me. I went down to the basement, and [points to clone] HE was out again. There was a note there to meet me at the special Gauntlet server, where Spyke and I usually duke it out over Quake issues. I jumped on, and here I am.

Jerry: But isn't there more? How did you end up with an evil clone, and more importantly, why is your coworker trying to use him to kill you?


Next:
Lee'Mon tells us the story...


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