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    PlanetQuake | Features | Articles | "Name That Quakefish!" Contest Winner
   

Name That Quakefish!
And the winner is...
  — by Lee'Mon

 
The Nameless Fish...until now!

Wow. I need to be more careful when starting a contest like this. My mailbox was flooded with approximately 275 emails suggesting names for my newfound Quakefish. It's taken most of my free time this past weekend to sort through them all.

Consequently, I am going to make you go through some of the effort I had to in order for you to find out who was the winner. So sit back, and read a small sample of the Quakefish Mailbag from the past week. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll probably understand as well as I do why Spyke acts the way he does around PQ Mailbag time.

So, let the entries begin! The Quakefish sorted the following letters, so I'll assume they're in no particular order. Email addresses have been removed to protect the not-so-innocent. Here we go!

 

From: Rio

Of course, everyone knows that the true name of the Quakefish, as recorded by the ancient lords of Knunnng, is the Gibby.

GIBBY (kibble-blamus) genus: Quakefish

Length: 4'

Lifespan: See current Timelimit

Reproduction: Let's not go into that...

Facts:
Sadly, most of the Gibbys were wiped out by the Dopefish during the Commander Keen famine of 1923 and few have been seen since. However, Gibbys have been seen in the pacific ocean lately by teams of Quakeobiologists, and there is evidence that their numbers are rising. The ancient Quakelords of Knunnng believed that if a Gibby was kept alive in the sacred pond of every villiage, no-one would ever fall frag hungry again. Opponents of the Knunnng grew fear of the Gibby, as one Bingor writing, found engraved in the heart of a stone temple, shows:

"Little Bingor,
Passing By
Gibby comes
Bingor Pie"

After the fall of the Knunnng, Gibby's allegedly vanished, some said it was a curse, others that they hid in a secret place found by nobody... until now.

Lee'mon of PlanetQuake has recently acquired a Gibby. Treated well, it will serve him well on the battlefield (let's face it, he needs some help there), but treated badly, the powers will be negated, and Spyke will emerge triumphant of every level.

Caring for your Gibby:
Gibbys must be fed twice daily with kibbles of opponent. Male Gibbys prefer the Blue team, for its spicy flavour, while female Gibbys prefer Red Team Kibbles, as they are more succulent. Groom your Gibby often by using the notch things on the top of your Quake 3 Rocket Launcher as a comb. Gibbys need no sleep, but do like to watch Demos, so do some good recording and your Gibby will reward you. Above all, anyone who curses a Gibby, or calls it any Internet names (d00d, kewl, etc), while automatically loose the next match... treat your Gibby with respect!

Well, the Quakefish now has a longer storyline than the original Quake...


From: DJ Larkin

My son, the answer lies within the fish itself.

If you prick it, shall it not rail you?
If you throw it in to the fog of death, does it not gib?
If it grabs the quad, are you not owned?

Yes my son, the answer should be clear...

No, we are not asking for a simple name here, something that might flow off the tounge
We want something that has the elegance of a haiku
Something that flows like water
Floats like a butterfly, but stings like a bee
The utter beauty of a rocketjump that lands you right on top of your enemy as you rail him in overtime....

Yes my son, you are beginning to see through the fog... to understand.

His name shall be....

TIMMY, The Mailbag Guardian!

All heed his war cry....

TIMMMMMAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

(hehe, sorry, it was too much fun... Read: Southpark for the timmy thing)

The Xen of South Park Quaking... Three great tastes that scare me together. Timmy's a great guy, but I'm afraid of the connotations of giving his name to the Quakefish. Besides, the Quakefish would only be Mailbag Guardian under Spyke's possession.


Next:
More naming goodness


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