Special Independence Day Edition!
Greetings, everyone, and welcome to the special 7/4 edition of the mailbag. Of course, it's not exactly the 4th of July anymore. However, the 4th did just happen to fall on the evening that the mailbag was to be done. Given the choice between writing the mailbag or drinking and setting off explosives, I chose the latter. I'm sure that nearly anyone here would understand.
The holiday also invariably led to the lack of an appopriate sidekick and my last resort, the ever-loquacious Dire Hamster, passed out early this evening for various reasons. Therefore, I would like to present my new sidekick... the sullen remainder of a bottle of Smirnoff's. He don't say much, but he's a hell of a guy. Let's this this ball rolling!
A short foreword
Sorry, folks, this mailbag was brought to you at the last moment and at great expense, and is thus so small as to be nearly nonexistant. If you wrote in and don't see your mail here, and you're not an idiot, then don't worry. Next week we shall have an extra-large mailbag and shall give your letters with the attention they so richly deserve.
Subject: Fraggin' female pic
You guys have been doing the POTD for as long as I can remember visiting
your site. Unfortunatly you've never had a POTD that has made it's way to my
desktop..... 'till now. The pic from 6/30 with that Sweety chick is AWESOME!
Is it really a tat or is it just temporary? Either way it's BADASS, and
PANIC! is one lucky dude. Now all I have to do is show it to my lady and
say, "See? All the girls are doing it." Too bad she doesn't play Quake. :(
Perhaps this isn't the place to point this out, sport, but one picture isn't quite "all the girls." In fact, I would say that having a Quake tattoo of any kind definatly puts one into a very small minority. Remember, the first step in getting a Quake tattoo on your lady friend is making sure that she actually LIKES Quake. Once that happens, things will start falling into line. You might want to start her off easy if she's new to gaming - Bejewelled, The Sims, Roller Coaster Tycoon, and so forth - before moving on to the harder stuff. First person shooters are, as we know, the pinnacle of PC gaming and so they should be saved until she shows both interest and skill. Soon, you'll be the one making people jealous. That, or you'll end up like this. Don't worry, though, that's my last gratuitous Penny Arcade reference for this year.
Subject: Texture making for the artistically inclined...
Howdy fellas, just want to tell a story. I have this great idea for a Quake 3
model. I have the storyline for this character written out, some taunts, even
know how to make bots and all that. There is one problem: I can't make
textures to save my life! To put it nicely, I can't get out of the stick
figure stage (and no, that's not my idea...), so I thought that I could get
the help of an expert at this to make the textures for me. As you probably
have guessed, no luck... either not interested or too busy. Can anyone at
least point me in the direction of a good website for texture making? Please?
Man, that was the worst story I've ever heard. Not a whole lot in the way of plot and the characterization was lousy. Tell you what, though, slugger - there's always Polycount. They don't specialize in texture tutorials, but they do tend to have a lot of people that make skins and thus they have several sites that teach other people how to make skins.
Also keep in mind that they have forums, and the forums tend to have nice people that make skins hanging out in them from time to time. I've heard that if you post shots of your unskinned model in the appropriate places and ask really nicely, you can get results.
Finally, there's one other little thing you might think about. Other than weapons, people never get a good look at many of the models in game. They're generally too busy running around grabbing guns and dodging rockets to check and see if the mole on your character's cheek is properly lit. In short - an adequate job is generally good enough, if the model is otherwise well-done. What people will spend most of the time noticing are the animations and the model's proportions. So, you might as well give it a shot no matter what your skills are. You might just learn something.
From: "frag sinatra"
cool to learn something bout the history of the best series ever(even in belgium)
Best series ever - even in Belgium? I'm not quite sure what this means. Is there that much more competition in the PC gaming market in Belgium than there is, for example, in the States? Are they getting dozens of games that I've never even heard of before? Where are these wonderous Belgian games?
Anyway, thanks for writing, glad you liked the feature, and so forth. I'm still not entirely sure why the "greetings" bit went at the end of the letter, as opposed to at the beginning, but the next guy did it to so maybe it's one of those new trends, like misspelling words and not using periods. Time will tell, I suppose. On a completely different note, though, I think fragsinatra has by far the best single user name in this mailbag - not that that's saying much.
From: "U C"
Hello I've got a problem, I know this isn't the right place to ask this but I'll try anyway. I've got windows 2000 this week and when I installed quake 3 arena om windows 2000 it didn't work anymore...Could you please tell me why it doesn't work anymore, or do I miss some files that are needed to play quake 3 arena on windows 2000????
No, this isn't the correct place to ask tech support questions. However, that never seems to stop people, which is why the PQ mailbag has the nickname "tech support hell" around here. But I digress.
As much as I'd love to help you out, UC, or J, or whatever it is you actually go by, this isn't exactly the most informative letter I've ever seen. You told me which operating system you were using, which is good. You also mentioned which Quake you were trying to run. Those two facts puts you ahead of about 80% of the help requests we get.
However, I don't personally run Win2k and thus can't do a whole lot to help. I asked around but couldn't find anyone who claimed to have had problems running Q3 on Windows 2000. So, I'm going to have to go for the default answer of "make sure your drivers are up-to-date." Admit it, you needed to do it anyway. If that doesn't work, write back with just a wee bit more info next time. Or, take up a new hobby such as Windows Solitaire or Minesweeper. The choice is yours.
And... that's a wrap.
Yep, that's all for this time. If you had actually paid for this mailbag, you would likely be demanding a refund right now. Don't worry, though, next week the normal antics will return with a vengeance. One thing we're not going to cut corners on this time around, though, and that's the inevitable Question of the Week:
Going to QuakeCon? (if not, "I missed QuakeCon" sob stories and anti-QCon sentiment are also welcome)
Let's see what you wacky kids have to say this time. As of right now, I'm out of here. Catch you on the flip side, yo.