Hello, hello! Jube and Black_Baron here, filling in for a madman and his trusty
spandex wearing sidekick, Dire Hamster. By now you all should (in theory) recognize my name from
the daily news, and Black_Baron is a regular in #planetquake on irc.enterthegame.com. He also happens to be
the biggest jerk I know (just thought I'd mention it).
Mr. Madman and I swapped features this week,
he screwed up the QuakeScopes
and now I'm going to make a complete cock-up of the Mailbag.
Last week's question of the week was: "You've just won the lottery. Who do you choose
to play Skippy the Quake guy in the Quake movie?" My god what a crap question, no wonder we
didn't get a single email on it. If I won the lottery I'd be far too busy picking out my man-harem
to worry about who's going to play Quake Guy in the Quake movie. Oh well, read on to see the fine selection of rubbish we've
received this week!
Subject: The 2 year revolution
I was wondering if you have any plans on maintaining this article:
It's a good read, but at the moment it's marred by 404 errors and doesn't
appear to show up on any of the article listings.
Jube: The article (seen here without the 404 errors) was continued by Pappy-R with
Four, PQ Can Walk, Talk and Kick Ass. If they were going in two year increments,
then it appears the series is well overdue for an update! Odd that it
sort of dropped off right around the time a madman, IceStorm and myself were
all brought on to PQ. I can only assume that Pappy-R is ashamed of us all (and so
he should be!), thus decided it was not a good idea to carry on the
anniversary article tradition.
Black_Baron: Yeah, you just sucked the life right out of Pappy-R. It's
sad, he just looks forlornly at his trout these days, doesn't slap
anymore. Of course, I've never seen Pappy-R do anything other than
stare at his trout...
Jube: Ba-dum-bum! Next!
Subject: mailbag feedback
Geez, you guys try to confuse the heck out of some guy and don't even do it
properly. Force-feed him RFC 793, the original TCP/IP RFC. No wimpy TCP/IP
tutorials. MAKE HIM SUFFER! Note that any side effects from reading the
aforementioned material are purely the fault of the author and the IETF.
Helpful tip: For you insomniacs, them RFCs are damned useful.
Oh, and for laggy Quake (even the 9600 baud modem users have an advantage
over this): RFCs 1149 and 2549.
You can find the RFCs at 'http://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc####.txt' as in
I should go to sleep.
Jube: Obviously this email was meant for a madman and Dire Hamster, since
it's written in Klingon. I wouldn't know an RFC from a Backstreet Boy.
Perhaps my tech-minded sidekick Black Baron will have something to say on
the subject. He wears the pants in this little mailbag partnership. I don't
like pants, as you can see from this partial photo of my bulbous pasty
Not much rump resemblance, but I don't own a wide lense. Over to you BB...
Black_Baron: It appears that you made a mistake I commonly do, you
opened your mouth when you should be sleeping. Now, this isn't all bad,
sometimes sleep deprivation leads to some interesting solutions to
problems, sometimes you just get incoherent and babble endlessly, the
latter being the more common of the two. Now, I -almost- read that RFC,
but, when I loaded it in mah browser, the little scroll bar just
disappeared, that's how long it is. No way am I going to waste my time,
or anyone else's time reading that. Hell, the only reason I use TCP/IP
is because the internet doesn't like NetBEUI, come on people WTF is
wrong with you?
The grapling hook is onley used by zoid piolets that don't play fair !!!
Subject: 2 cores
The death stinger haas 2 cres the death sourer and the original version?
Jube: Two emails for the price of one. Why is it that I don't feel
doubly enlightened? I'm pretty much at a loss here for the first time in about
10 years, but I will say that the grapple from Zoid's Q2CTF is totally
rockin', and can only be rivalled by the offhand grapple of Loki's Minions CTF (LMCTF
Black_Baron: The grappling hook is my favorite tool. It can lift me up
yonder so I may dodge around a corner and frag my opponent. Or. I can
use it as a weapon and turn myself into a guided missile of hurt. But I
suggest that you learn to use the mouse when you play, rather than just
Dear a madman,
Thanks for the desktop reading, it was really nice to finally see one of
my old desktops on show at PQ. Anyway, I know that the desktop readings are
for entertainment only, but you got quite a few things wrong. Actually,
everything was wrong. You're no John Edward, get Jube back now, this
Jube: *blush* Thanks Z! I feel so loved. And not just because
Black_Baron keeps trying to touch me inappropriately. Anyway, let us not get down on
a madman... John Edwards, perhaps not, but I think he did a fine job filling in as last week's
Scope Master. The QuakeScopes were very good... for us to poop on!
Black_Baron: John Edwards, fleh. Just be glad that you weren't exposed
as being a , you .
Jube: Oh great, our Mailbag debut and we're going to get censored thanks to you!
Jerk. I can hear it now . o O
a madman: Man have you seen what she's doing to the Mailbag?
Pappy-R: Don't sweat it bud, she's gone as of tomorrow. *burp*
a madman: It's about time. I've got dibs on her
Black_Baron Me? No, I think it's you and those 24 boobs you wanna
stroke. I haven't said anything the Simpsons wouldn't have said.
I see your point.
Next: The mazola party continues!