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    PQ | Features | Mailbag | April 11, 1999
   

Fargo's Boxes

Fargo's editorial on game boxes brought in quite a few responses from you guys. Here's a couple of them:


From : BionicAntBoy
Subject : Game Box Frenzy

Hell yeah! Big bad ass boxes rule my world! I love the way that they create a nonlinear storage solution...My personal favorites are the ones that have a 'cover', just like a book, so that I can see gorgeous screenshots that half the time don't even appear in the game!

Seriously tho, a standard would be nice. Maybe something like the size of a DVD title, but thicker. And if some company ABSOLUTELY HAS to put a cheezy cloth map or 400 page novel with the game, then just make the box thicker. The worst are abnormaly shaped boxes! Those things burn my britches. It probably costs more to make the box than it does to make the CD!


From : Adren
Subject : Whoa....

I have to totally agree with you Fargo... I demand Boxes larger then my computer tower... What the hell reason is there for those boxes other then to flash around town, with one planted and tied down in the back of your big Pickup Truck? What the hell reason is there for the pickup truck if games don't need to be carried in one? BIGGER BOXES!!!!!!!


From : Headstone
Subject : More Box!!!

I think that Fargo hit the nail right on the head, and I mean dead center. I think we could all use alot more box!!! Great idea with the bricks and bubblewrap, (mmmmm....bubblewrap).


From : Chuck Stewart
Subject : Pumas Anonymouse

Your reasoning about box-size envy is quite correct, it is a marketing thing...

As for box size; one word from the _stores_ point of view...

Shoplifters.

So you may yet see your box o' bricks... It may be the only package the Crack Whore can't fit between her legs as she waddles out of the store.


From : Fragmaster
Subject : Fargo's Editorial

Fargo's editorial on the size of game boxes was right on the money! However, I do not believe he went far enough as far as to what the ideal "Big Giant Game Box" should contain.

For example, why not add some delicious Fruit Loops cereal to this giant game box? Perhaps directly between the bubble wrap and the bricks? The added bonus of this is that a Free Toy could be included within the cereal. I don't know about you, but the inclusion of a free toy, perhaps made out of recycled plastic, would make me far more likely to pick up that copy of Extreme Paintball.

I'd also like to see the space in these giant game boxes used for yet more advertising and catalogs. I just love opening up a game and finding all sorts of wondrous special offers, such as 100 free hours on America online and five dollars off the strategy guide for Outpost. As well as advertisements for those really cool 3D stereoscopic USB foot pedals and a registration card that requires me to submit a DNA sample (w00p!).

Fargslice also neglected to mention that the inefficient, bulky packaging of PC games is a way to show the superiority of computer games to their console counterparts. Take Tomb Raider II: the packaging for the PC version was bigger, and thus the game on the PC was far superior.

In all seriousness though, what kind of idiot actually keeps the boxes the games come in? I think most of us just pop the CD and manual (if there is one) out and toss the box into a corner or something. The CD goes in the rack; the manual gets shoved in a stack with all the other docs.

Maybe Fargo keeps the boxes so he can draw inspiration from the crappy ad copy on the backs. I be twice the writer he is, you know.


From : Dave 'Fargo' Kosak
Subject : Re: Fargo's Editorial

My response:

"I disagree with Fragmaster's assertion that my writing style is influenced byt the copy on the back of video game boxes, especially ones jam-packed with eye-ripping visuals and state-of-the-art spacial rendering technology with intense real-time physics. While my writing style is sometimes over 100 screens of action-packed multiplayer mayhem, you can hardly call my fierce strategic single-player combat in a fully interactive 3D environment less than "THE GAME OF THE YEAR" -PCGamer.

Thanks."

and, from the "just don't get it" department...


From : howitzer
Subject : perhaps you can clear that up...

Fargo had a funny and entertaining editorial this week on the size of game boxes. Unfortunately, I have no idea just what he was trying to convey. Was it his intention to make an editorial with no point whatsoever? Was there a valid point in there which was twisted and mutilated with sarcasm? (and if so, what?) Am I wrong in believing that PC game boxes are already at the ideal size? Please man, I want so much to understand!

Well...see...here's the deal. Fargo is a master of the acient, mystic art known as "sarcasm", which you mention. Use of this art is best left only to those with years of training, who've honed their wit to a razor's edge. Guys like Dennis Leary, or Fragmaster. This mystic art often involves speaking about things from the exact opposite point of view that you actually feel.

Thus, the true meaning behind Fargo's statements was to poke fun at the fact that game boxes are approximately eight times bigger than they need to be (in terms of providing protection for the jewel cases they contain).

I hope I've helped you achieve zen.


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