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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Mynxisms
   

This Week:  Many of you have commented on my, er, creative terms, usually for things relating to sex, and asked how and why I come up with such things.  It all started back in the day when I was a newbie advice columnist, and needed "other" ways to say things that might not normally be so okay to say.  Thus, the Mynxisms were born.  Many are my own, many I've picked up along the way.  You asked for it, and who am I to deny my loving public?  So, by popular demand, the glossary of Mynxisms!  Enjoy!

A Few Ants Short of a Picnic
     Not entirely sane.
Anus Wind
     Fart, pass gas.
Bag The(ir) Sandwiches
     Wear a condom.
Bald Headed Barracuda
     Penis.
Barfer
     One who becomes motion sick while playing games.
Barking Spider
     Fart, pass gas.
Battlefish
     The male "member".
Before You Attack Her, Cover Your Whacker
     Before sex, put on a condom.
Big Oily Italian Cheesefarming Holstermaster
     John Romero.
Binky Watoosie
     To engage in sex.
Bork the Banger
     To participate in a sexual act, either alone or with someone else.
Brain Stew Guano
     Playing mind games.
Bubblepunchers
     Penises!
Capping Your Corker
     To use a condom.
Chase The One-eyed Burping Gecko
     To give in to temptation for sex.
Chromosomal Donors
     Parents.
Clam Rug
     Pubic area, usually female.
Clangers
     Testes, testicular, testicles.
Dingleberry Catchers
     Hair on one's behind, typically around the anus.
Don't Get Your Wookie in a Tangle
     Don't get excited in a cranky fashion.
Epicenter of Love
     One's groin region.
Farming the Cheese
     Reaping smegma via intercourse.
Farming the Snake Cheese
     See above.
Grinding the Monkey
     Having primate-wild sex.
Her Trout
     Vagina!
Hold the Sausage Hostage
     To masturbate, practice self-love.
Hopping the Honker
     Sex sex sex! Or, of course, masturbation.
Hummer
     Oral sex as performed on a male.
Love Ewe
     Inflatable sheep, as loved by efnet #quake.
Make a Stinky
     Fart, pass gas.
Make The Pickle Barf
     Have sex, either alone or with a partner, and achieve orgasm.
Make Your Piggy Oink
     Achieve orgasm.
Manshroom
     Penis!
Mangle the Midget
     Self love/abuse.
Man Steak
     Penis!
Man Tusk
     Penis!
Noodlecase
     An unstable individual, such as myself.
Noose the Bald Moose
     Participate in sex, either alone or with a paid (or, heck, unpaid too) "friend".
Onion
     Rear end, aka Butt.
Oily Bohunk
     As originated in Sixteen Candles, a big burly man.
Oscar Meyer
     Penis.
Penile Mishap
     Surprise ejaculation.
Penile Target Practice
     Sex with someone you aren't all that interested in.
Piggy
     A penis, as defined by Mental4.
(to) Play Lincoln Logs
     Pass fecal matter, poop, dookie, take a poo in the loo.
Polish the Helmet
     Referring to the Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love, to rub it until it shines.
Preacher Boy
     Todd Porter's "stripper alias". Woo hoo.
Problematic Snails
     Troublesome vaginas.
Purple Helmeted Warrior of Love
     Penis.
Punch the Munchkin
     To masturbate, self-gratification.
Putting The Clamp Down on Your Wallawallabingbang
     To be sexually assaulted.
Sewing on a Little Smokie
     What a "Post-op" man has had done.
Short n Curlies
     Pubic hair.
Shrubbery
     Pubic hair.
Slinking The Squirrel
     Masturbating and/or sex with a partner.
Smother That Sucker
     Wear a condom.
Sport a Stretchy
     Wear a condom.
Sporting a Wookie
     To have an erection.
Spring a Throbber
     To become aroused.
Spunking the Munkey
     Engaging in self-love, with a friend, usually via netsex.
Steed, Paul
     Luscious id artist type, likes fast cars and fast women.  First (and, to date, only) Dear Mynx guest host.
Sticking Your Biscuit in the Honey Jar
     To introduce your penis to a real live female.
Strumming Your Banjo
     Masturbation, in a bluegrass band.
Take Old One Eye to the Optometrist
     To introduce a penis to his female counterpart.
The Yoinkies
     Vomiting, usually because you're a barfer.
Throttling the Tuna
     Also known as choking the chicken - masturbation.
Tooting the Love Horn
     Toot toot! Having sex sex sex!
The Rod(tm)
     A long thin bar of glass broken to torture offensive males.
Trouser Tent
     The way the front of one's trousers resembles a tent when a tent-pole, ie, erection, is introduced.
Wadahooing the Yoohoo
     Making Love.
Walking the Gherkin
     Taking the ole penisator for a walk to his friend's house.
Whallop the Wingnut
     To masturbate.
Whatever Smacks Your Snacker
     Whatever makes you happy.
Wiggle-tails
     Sperm.
Woo Woo
     Genitalia, male or female.
Wonks Your Conker
     To become aroused.
Working Your Manual Transmission
     Stimulation by hand.


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