This Week: Paul Steed's physical
abilities, what to do when you've got two to play with, help
for a poor little lad who can't make the twinkie goo, loving
your cousins and Mynx, naked. Oh, and a canine embarrassment
spotlight. Is this a trend? See you all next week,
if we don't fall off the face of the earth.
Paul Steed - The Man, The Myth, The
Ok, so this might be a bit out of the blue, but who else do
we turn to for the straight dope on Steed? We all admire
him as a diplomat of the messageboards over at Quake3World,
but can we also admire his gymnastic abilities? I recall
mention of him doing all the mocap for his model animations
himself. This includes all the files he sent to the
Shugashack, with comparisons
of himself in mocap gear to the models Xaero and some others.
I finally made it to tier (PH34R M33!!) ahem... yes, admittedly
I suck at the space theme in tier 6. Anyways, after
unlocking the final tier cinematic, I was floored by Xaero
flipping like a 60's kung-fu matinee onto my screen.
Can we assume that Steed moves like this? Should we
all bear this in mind before challenging him to a row at the
next QuakeCon? Anyways, I'm happy with the size of my
penis, so I guess this is an acceptable email to have in the
Mynx feature ;)
Long time reader, First time submitter,
Honestly I have no idea if it was Paul flipping around like
a hotcake but I would love to find out. There are many
things you should bear in mind before challenging Paul to
a row of anything, the least of which would be if he can flip
around. Yes, there are plenty more things to worry about
indeed. Glad you're happy with your penis size... may
the females you encounter say the same.
What To Do When You've Got Two
For the last eight months or so I've developed a strong
relationship that has been getting stronger since it first
began. I've been filled with pleasure for countless hours
and had some of the most fun I've experienced in my youth.
Now I feel I am beyond the relationship and that I should
move on because I have found another but all my friends don't
much like her. She is gorgeous and a lot more good looking
than my previous love, and she seems extremely experienced
for her age. It is as if she is perfect refinement. I don't
know what to do, do I try and hang
on to the old relationship until the new one grows and blooms
as much as the old one? or do I simply abandon my past and
concentrate on the present?
Um. If you don't have those warm fuzzy gooey feelings for
chickholio number one, I certainly do not recommend hanging
on to her waiting for something to develop with chickholio
number two. Who cares what your friends think, anyway.
They aren't the ones that have to fondle her... you do.
If I did everything my friends recommended I'd have two pierced
nipples and an archvile tattoo under my pubic hair... er wait...
Don't be a bungwad. If you don't care for the first
anymore, cut her loose. Let her go off and find herself
a new love, instead of keeping her as a consolation prize
should you miss out on the second.
What To Do When The Goo Won't Spoo
You have got to help me please! The problem
is with masturbation. It seems that no matter how I pet, yank,
or squeeze "ol' unfaithful" all it does is get hard, hot.
No gooey geyser, no anything... this sucks. Please, I ask
again oh mighty Mynx, you have all the answers, please help
figure out What the hell is wrong with me..
Well uh tell me this are you over the age of like 13?
If you're not, you uh shouldn't be reading this column because
YOU'RE TOO DAMN YOUNG. Go read disney.com or something,
because you won't be finding any g rated entertainment here
young man! Now then uh... if you're old enough to know
how to squeeze your cheese and still nothing comes of it,
there could be a myriad of things causing you trouble.
It doesn't sound like you're reaching orgasm at all here,
just that you're sort of tooling around, getting bored and
moving on. Hole up with some really good arousal
material, a nice bottle of astroglide, and an hour to yourself,
and see what happens. Maybe you'll finally make the
pickle puke. Get back to me, let me know how it goes.
Loading Your Launcher With Family
I have a problem... On Christmas day, my family went and
had Christmas lunch with the rest of my extended family.
This was really great, as I got to see some of my relatives,
some of which I haven't seen for quite some time. I
hadn't seen my cousin (or she me) for some five years, in
fact, and seeing her again was quite a shock. She looked
VERY different, and here the problem lies, very attractive.
But that's not all. She's also sweet, funny and
seems to understand pretty much everything I say. We
share interests, and she even (gasp!) plays Quake.
You see, Mynx, my problem is that I think I love my cousin
(in the wrong way). I can't stop thinking about her.
I have no idea what to do about this - I can't say with any
certainty what SHE thinks about ME. Help! am I sick?
is this wrong? should I be castrated and sent to live with
an order of celibate monks?
Er no. You're not sick and twisted and you don't need
to be clipped and shipped. This is someone you hadn't
seen in ages and haven't cultivated a "family" relationship
with so it's quite normal to view her as simply an unrelated
The fact remains that she is in fact your cousin. I'm
assuming she's your first cousin. There are laws against
this sort of thing for a reason my dear... namely INBREEDING.
Just don't do it, mmkay? Inbreeding just isn't good
for anyone. This is one of those oh so delicate situations
where I'm going to have to say: Get Over It.
PQ Naked Mynx, Please Please!
Hey, why don't you send some naked chick shots of yourself
into the PQ Q3A box contest? That would totally rule,
and you could have a great time rubbing up against a Q3A box!!
I don't think so. Nobody wants to see a naked pregnant
chick. Besides, it would take me a good couple of tins
to cover the hootertang, and furthermore, tin is COLD.
I'll make this short and sweet. Print it if you must,
but it goes anonymous, dig? I have a large Bull Mastiff
dog named Shakespeare. He's "fixed" but he still gets
erections. The other day he had a HUGE one and
he was whining and turning around in circles like it hurt.
He rolled over and I got down on my knees to take a closer
look, thinking something was wrong. I reached in to
move his tail out of the way and just as my hand grabbed the
tail that was right over his huge bright red erection... My
mom walked in with my grandmother. It looked like I
was molesting the dog, and he was liking it. My grandmother
still won't speak to me, and that was a week ago. Argh.