Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take
your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just
a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk
to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!
Week: Girls with boy friends and boyfriends that
hate 'em, sexing up Romero (no really), the smell of carp,
judging the need for viagra (unf unf), and a plea for Mynx's
panties. You people are twisted.
Most of my friends are guys, for two reasons:
1) I like computers, they're what I do, and there aren't a
lot of girls around me in this industry, and 2) Even if there
were, I'd still hang out with guys because I just generally
like them better. This wouldn't be a bad thing, except
that the significant others I've had have all been a little
less than enthusiastic about it. I won't give up my
friends for my boyfriends, and I know that this bothers them.
They don't say anything directly but they get that sorta "Sure,
it's OK if you go out, just leave me here all by myself while
you go out with some guy..." way about them. I try to
limit going out with my guy friends to a minimum - like once
a month. In the end I feel sort of held back.
I just can't see brushing off my friends for my boyfriend.
At the same time I think I should sacrifice more, because
I doubt I would appreciate it if he was going out with chicks
all the time. What's a girl to do?
Well, yeah, girls suck. I've been saying this for years.
All my life, most of my friends have been guys, with the exception
of one or two close girlfriends. Girls just pretty much
bug the holy balls outta me. Hey, call me sexist, I
don't care. Girls are all about who is prettier than
who, who has a cuter boyfriend and a better battery powered
goat, yadda yadda. Lame. Guys are much more laid
back and accepting and in my experience, generally fun to
be around. Besides that, never underestimate the value
of being the only girl in a gaggle of boys. Oh, the
things you learn. Anyway. Your boyfriend is
trapped in that whole "men and women can't be friends because
sex gets in the way" thing. Bzzt, wrongo. Tell
him that your friends are just like his friends, and ask him
if you should be suspicious when he goes out with other guys.
Should you worry that he's suddenly going to drop all defenses
and just demand some funky buttlovin from his guy friends?
No? Well neither should he.
John Romero: Sex God
I want to sex up John Romero.
Can you help me?
Ew. Um, I mean, come on. This is The Romero we're
talking about. Like, that guy with the hair. You
know, the one with the tall blonde boobie woman girlfriend?
I'm sure he appreciates your affection and all, but really,
what's he gunna want in some hairy computer geek? Thanks,
Do You Smell.... Clams?
Every once in awhile, going about my
daily activities, I notice a distinct aroma of... genitals.
Is the smell of penis and/or vagina unappealing? Is
it okay if you can smell it sometimes?
Well. Sure, to an extent. I mean, in the right
context, a nice whiff of seaside can be a good thing, even
exciting, but you don't want to be walking around stinking
like the swamp thing. If there is a seriously strong
odor or even some sort of cheezy funk hanging around the beef
curtains, you should probably see a doctor. But if you're
well bathed, and have a spanking fresh pair of crisp cotton
undies (please, no nylon or other synthetic fabrics -
they don't breathe, trap moisture, and generally just make
you skanky) and you still have a green fungal smelling jungle,
something's outta whack. If it's just a gentle, occasional,
pleasant waft of eau do pootay, you're alright. All
His Snoopy Is Droopy
I'm 23 and have been dating my first
girlfriend for the past five months. After two months of courtship,
we decided to engage in sex.
There's one problem though (aside from me being
a total virgin) -- I'm impotent.
Yes, Mynxie, it's not after the first "try," but
the two dozen or so times after .... I just lose my hard-on,
then all sex drive moments into intercourse. At first, I thought
it was just jitters, but now I think something is seriously
wrong with me.
I've gone to see a doctor and they want a blood
test. The doc even mentioned he could get me Viagra for a
discount. I haven't heard back from the doctors yet, but I've
been looking up online on impotence ... I know I'm not diabetic,
and I'm not taking any depressive medications that could render
me in such a way (although this situation is making me depressed
as hell). But I am overweight and have a stressful job. It
takes me anywhere from 3 minutes to 45 to do the job solo.
The only thing is, I can't find anything on guys as young
as me -- it's all information for 40 or 50-year-old guys with
nice health insurance plans and cash to spend. Aside from
Viagra and its side-effects, there's no way in hell I'm putting
a 6-inch needle in my dick, and I can't afford surgery or
penile implants (besides, they look goofy).
The other thing is my girlfriend. While she's A
LOT hornier than I am (she initiates most of the action),
she's says she's understanding and won't drop me for sex.
It's not all the relationship is about, she keeps telling
me. That I agree. I love her, but I think if I don't give
my 300% best as a boyfriend -- and don't fix the gun -- she'll
Also, we're sarcastic, and she tends to make jokes on this
a bit much -- and it's really hurting me.
So, can I trust her? Is it common for a guy my age
to be faced with impotence? What can I do? I get depressed
whenever the word sex is mentioned, so -- HELP
I'm sorry about your gobbler. Personally I'd be more
inclined to take the psycho route than the drug route.
Perhaps the problem is something subconscious? Maybe
you were bitten on the lovefish by a rabid possum at a young
age, blocked it out, and now your poor penis suffers from
some sort of post traumatic stress thing. You might
consider seeing a counselor before submitting to blood draws
and other invasive type things, though, and see what, well,
comes of it. As for your girlfriend, ok, so she has
a stronger sex drive. You don't need to rely only on
your penis to scratch her itch. You've got hands, you've
got a mouth, hell, you've got toes, use em! This should
give her some sort of candy to pacify her while she helps
you through this hard time - or not hard as the case may be.
To trust her, well, you're just going to have to either trust
her, or not, there's no in between. Sit down with her
and tell her that it hurts your wittle feelings when she makes
jokes about rover playing dead, and that while you understand
it is not so easy for her to cope with (from her position,
she could feel there's something wrong with her and she's
not attractive enough to you), you are working your best
to get to the source of the turnip trouble and need her love
and support. The outcome of this conversation should
reveal how "trustworthy" she is to you. In the meantime,
find yourself a shrink, and talk to him - or her - about your
dingus. I can guarantee they won't try to draw blood.
I know you're busy with your life and work and kids and stuff,
but i'm wondering if you could take the time out from your
busy schedule to send me something of yours? If it's
not too much trouble, a pair of your panties? Unwashed
is okay, in fact, preferred. Thanks. Here's my
Ahem. No. Nope, nuhuh, sorry, nosir.
At this stage in pregnancy, the "oh so rotund" phase, comfortable
panties are like gold. I finally found some that are
cut high enough in the leg and low enough in the waist (so
as not to molest my distended bellybutton), and I'm NOT GIVING
THEM UP. I don't care how much you beg, I don't care
if you're Paul Steed in disguise, you CANNOT have my panties.
Well okay so *maybe* if you were, I'd consider it, but I'd
still say no way. I'm not letting these panties out
of my ass... er, sight.