Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take
your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just
a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk
to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!
Week: Having no life and lusting after bots, loving,
touching, caressing your mudflaps, checking out the wanking
angle with a mirror, and some guy sniffing glue and writing
about Carmack and Cash. Check out the leather belt on
that bad boy!
Lusting After Hunter - And You Thought You Were
I have a serious problem. I have fallen
in love with the "Hunter" model. That's not the problem though.
:-( Consider me prude, undesirable, ugly, sick and all the
standard names everybody calls me. Having turned 19 recently
(2 days ago), I looked back at my life and said to myself:
"My god, 19 years of existence, I had only one girlfriend
and the only thing that got close between us was two standard
"pretending" kisses. 5 days later our relationship broke apart.
I'm not kidding, I'm a complete virgin and sick of it. I mean
look at me: I'm 19 years old, I've left the most exciting
part of my life behind me and I never had the chance to enjoy
myself with the opposite sex. Can you give me some advice,
so that I might find love before I die? I never got my chance
in the last millennium and I don't think I'll have better
luck in this one.
Er if you think your teenage years were to be the most exciting
part of your life, you really do have problems. Your
teenage years are supposed to be wrought with torment and
anxiety. That's what makes them so special! Acne,
body odor, ruthless gossip and backbiting - yay! Fun
fun fun! No, dear buttboy, the best years of your life
are ahead of you. Guys who peaked in high school are yucky
- you can pick them out a mile away by the over sprayed hair
and high school class ring - give yourself a break dude.
You're like young and stuff. Stop obsessing over Hunter
and go outside. Smile at a chick, make a friend.
While I'm not sure what a "pretend" kiss is, and I can only
assume it means a kiss above the navel, that's probably not
the best goal to set for yourself. Aim for the stars,
man! You have a tongue, put it to use!
I really like my ass, is that weird?
I like to crane around and look at it in the mirror, all round
and a little hairy, I like to feel it, like it when other
people touch it, and so on. Only the cheeks, mind
you, but still. I'm worried that I'm approaching
fetishism or something and it's a little concerning to me.
Is it okay to love your buttcheeks?
It's perfectly fine to adore your onion. If you must
have your mudflaps touched in order to turn
your little smokie into a sausage, that could be
considered a fetish. If you just like to behold your
smooth little round hiney, then hey, who can blame you?
Enjoy it while it lasts, for it won't be long till that once
perky little ham is a saggly lumpy rump roast.
Watching The Wankage
a group of my friends from school were
at a party getting rather intoxicated, and we entered one
of those "guy chat" conversations. anyways, things got
too far, and one of my friends let it slip out that he beats
off in front of a mirror! is this normal, and I'm the only
one not doing it? or is this guy weird? please enlighten me.
Actually, yes. You are the only guy I've ever heard
of who does not batter his corndog in front of the mirror.
You are different and weird and should be pointed
at and ridiculed. Ok well, actually not, but it
was fun to say. Guys do stupid shit. It's
part of being a guy, unfortunately. Some dorky dudes
flex their muscles in front of the mirror, some
make what they think is a studly expression, some pull out
the hairball and start brushing. There is really such
a broad range of normalcy when it comes to wanking that even
I can't be pressed to narrow it down. So I'll just say,
for him, it's normal. You can try it if you want to,
your eyeballs won't fall out, but you don't have to do it
to be "normal". Whatever the hell that is.
Drugs Are Bad, Kids
What ever happened to the Other guy...Yes John Cash the 2nd
guy what did Carmack do...What bill Gates Did...Or does Cash
not want his name Known???? Ohh id like my name to be
changed to protect my email call me neo and umm if ya can
tell cash to email me some info otherwise
-"Neo" the crackmonger
Hi, stop smoking crack. Um, bye.
Name That Game Geek
With just 10 weeks (give or take a couple) to go until my
belly goes pop and Baby v2.0 hits the shelves, I've decided
to have a little fun. You know them, you love them,
now you get to see what they looked like in diapers.
Or, recently potty trained, at least (although last I heard
sCary is still having trouble with that one :). Have
a look at the photo below... can you guess who? Tune
in next week for a new baby shot, as well as a current photo
in answer to this one.
what's a blowdryer?"