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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | What's That Smell?!
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  Having no life and lusting after bots, loving, touching, caressing your mudflaps, checking out the wanking angle with a mirror, and some guy sniffing glue and writing about Carmack and Cash.  Check out the leather belt on that bad boy!


   Lusting After Hunter - And You Thought You Were Weird
I have a serious problem. I have fallen in love with the "Hunter" model. That's not the problem though. :-( Consider me prude, undesirable, ugly, sick and all the standard names everybody calls me. Having turned 19 recently (2 days ago), I looked back at my life and said to myself: "My god, 19 years of existence, I had only one girlfriend and the only thing that got close between us was two standard "pretending" kisses. 5 days later our relationship broke apart. I'm not kidding, I'm a complete virgin and sick of it. I mean look at me: I'm 19 years old, I've left the most exciting part of my life behind me and I never had the chance to enjoy myself with the opposite sex. Can you give me some advice, so that I might find love before I die? I never got my chance in the last millennium and I don't think I'll have better luck in this one.

-Buttboy

Er if you think your teenage years were to be the most exciting part of your life, you really do have problems.  Your teenage years are supposed to be wrought with torment and anxiety.  That's what makes them so special!  Acne, body odor, ruthless gossip and backbiting - yay!  Fun fun fun!  No, dear buttboy, the best years of your life are ahead of you.  Guys who peaked in high school are yucky - you can pick them out a mile away by the over sprayed hair and high school class ring - give yourself a break dude.  You're like young and stuff.  Stop obsessing over Hunter and go outside.  Smile at a chick, make a friend.  While I'm not sure what a "pretend" kiss is, and I can only assume it means a kiss above the navel, that's probably not the best goal to set for yourself.  Aim for the stars, man!  You have a tongue, put it to use! 


  Assmongering
I really like my ass, is that weird?  I like to crane around and look at it in the mirror, all round and a little hairy, I like to feel it, like it when other people touch it, and so on.  Only the cheeks, mind you, but still.  I'm worried that I'm approaching fetishism or something and it's a little concerning to me.  Is it okay to love your buttcheeks? 

-Bulbous

It's perfectly fine to adore your onion.  If you must have your mudflaps touched in order to turn your little smokie into a sausage, that could be considered a fetish.  If you just like to behold your smooth little round hiney, then hey, who can blame you?  Enjoy it while it lasts, for it won't be long till that once perky little ham is a saggly lumpy rump roast. 


  Watching The Wankage
a group of my friends from school were at a party getting rather intoxicated, and we entered one of those "guy chat" conversations.  anyways, things got too far, and one of my friends let it slip out that he beats off in front of a mirror! is this normal, and I'm the only one not doing it? or is this guy weird? please enlighten me. :)

-Dorian

Actually, yes.  You are the only guy I've ever heard of who does not batter his corndog in front of the mirror.  You are different and weird and should be pointed at and ridiculed.  Ok well, actually not, but it was fun to say.  Guys do stupid shit.  It's part of being a guy, unfortunately.  Some dorky dudes flex their muscles in front of the mirror, some make what they think is a studly expression, some pull out the hairball and start brushing.  There is really such a broad range of normalcy when it comes to wanking that even I can't be pressed to narrow it down.  So I'll just say, for him, it's normal.  You can try it if you want to, your eyeballs won't fall out, but you don't have to do it to be "normal".  Whatever the hell that is.


   Drugs Are Bad, Kids 
What ever happened to the Other guy...Yes John Cash the 2nd guy what did Carmack do...What bill Gates Did...Or does Cash not want his name Known????  Ohh id like my name to be changed to protect my email call me neo and umm if ya can tell cash to email me some info otherwise

-"Neo" the crackmonger

Hi, stop smoking crack.  Um, bye.


 Name That Game Geek
With just 10 weeks (give or take a couple) to go until my belly goes pop and Baby v2.0 hits the shelves, I've decided to have a little fun.  You know them, you love them, now you get to see what they looked like in diapers.  Or, recently potty trained, at least (although last I heard sCary is still having trouble with that one :).  Have a look at the photo below... can you guess who?  Tune in next week for a new baby shot, as well as a current photo in answer to this one.


"Mommy, what's a blowdryer?"


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