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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Mandinglers.

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  The cost of loving someone who loves their homeland, some guy turns to Mynx for help on getting his girlfriend to shave the beast, a poor college boy and his small penis are suddenly the talk of the dorm, and another dude whose girlfriend has a radioactive crotch.  All this and more... no wonder you love me.  Don't forget to check out the answer to last week's geek, as well as our current little cutey...

   Mail Order Brides
I met a woman over seas and I feel a very strong attraction to her , I have saved up money for the last 7 months to go and visit her . I saved the required 1,400 dollars to fly there only to find out that the price went up to 2,000 !!! I have been talking to here for over a year almost two. I know that if I have waited that long I can wait longer , but I can't! There is so many things about this woman that I love . She is 20 and I am 26 . I don't know what to do because I don't know what way my head is screwed on!! Please help!?


Can't you find someone locally to burrow?  Geez. I mean hey I'm all for love and stuff but there is such a thing as geographical undesirability.  If you're really bound by the peehole to go and see this chick, you will find a way.  So the price has gone up to $2k - airfares change all the time.  Find a travel agent who will book you a trip - it may take you 3 days and 14 connecting flights to do it, but you'll get there in the end.  Hell, there's always - or for that matter, get your precious little lambchop to kick in some bucksters to your little love fund.  What's she been doing while you've been saving up for 7 months?  Loosen your grip on the old manjerky and start comparison shopping.  You'll find a flight package within your budget.

  What IS It With Men And Bald Eagles?
I don't know if I'm crazy or what but I got to ask someone, and I thought you would be the best one to ask. Summer is coming up here (in Toronto, Ontario) and that means its time for my girl to once again shave her BIKINI LINE! This year though, I wanted to ask her to just do the WHOLE THING, to make it easier for, you know, STUFF. (that I'm sure your dirty mind can think of :) How do you think I should go about asking her to do this? I don't want to make an ass of myself, I guess I'm asking how would you EXPECT your boy to ask you to do that? Any help here would be MORE THEN appreciated :)


Just ASK.  It's not all that difficult, just slide up next to her and say "hey baby, how's bout you go for totally bald beef curtains this bikini season?"  She'll either turn around and smack you, or say something along the lines of "are you serious?".  Either one will give you ample opportunity to explain further.  If she cares, you can tell her that I said "everyone should sport a baldy at least once in life."  For cracksake, it does grow back.  I will, however, recommend waxing, because while there is significantly more pain involved, there is far less upkeep.  One bloodcurdling screaming yank hair out by the roots session, and you're good to go for about 6 weeks.  Shaving you have to do at least every other day.  Oh, and I would be remiss if I did not insist that you make it, well, lets just say "worth her while" to do this.  Slurp.

My penis is reasonably sized (7.1 inches, you can tell I'm a geek at heart) when erect, but when flaccid, it frequently shrinks down to about 1.5 inches.  This has never been a problem, as by the time girls get into my pants, this flagpole is ready to be hoisted.  However, I just transferred to a new school, and some girl walked in on me changing in my dorm room, forgetting the old occupant had moved to an apartment.  She saw the little guy, and now it's whispered about in all the social areas, and is totally cramping my style.

Mynx, what can I do to rectify the situation?!


Are you certain that they're really whispering about your wee winkie?  Could it be that you're just projecting - being unsure of yourself in a new place is hard, and it would be easy to assume that everyone is talking about That New Guy With The Needledick down the hall.  If they really are going on about your shrinkage factor, you could always offer to show them otherwise, although that could prove just as embarrassing.  I do have to say that -most- mandanglers retreat into tinyness while flaccid - it's just what they do.  The girl who took a step at your nude probably doesn't have much experience in the penile arena, because most of us womenfolk know this, and reserve judgement on the penis in question until after we've given it a test drive, so to speak.  There's not a whole lot you can do if rumors are flying, except wait it out.  There will be new gossip fodder soon enough, and they'll forget all about your shorty. 

   But Will It Bleach My Mansteak?! 
My girlfriend and I have reached that point in our relationship where we are starting to do things like leave articles of clothing at each other's apartments.  She'll stay the night at my place sometimes, and leave her dirty clothes from the day before to just toss in the wash with my stuff.  Now, I don't mind this in the least, but something is really bothering me... she wears colored cotton type undies; IOW they are cotton all around, but they are dyed - pinks, blues, purples, etc.  My problem is with the crotch of her panties.. they have big blotches where it looks as if the fabric has been bleached just by her wearing them!!  I am far too much the gentleman to ask her about this, so I'm asking you... is my girlfriends crotch radioactive or something to be bleaching out the inside of her underwear?.


First, let me assure you that no matter what, your girlfriend's snapper is not going to chew through your little schmekkie like battery acid, which, I suspect, is your true fear.  I honestly have no idea what it is, exactly, that causes this, but I will tell you that the environment in your (every) girlie's lovenest is a very alkaline one.  That's just the nature of the beast - will it fade underwear?  I don't know.  I suppose it's possible.  It is also possible that she's using some sort of feminine product - a deodorant spray, an over the counter yeast infection ointment (doesn't that sound yummy!) or douche that is causing the crotch assault.  As long as she doesn't have some eyewatering odor or itching or other problematic things going on, it's probably just business as usual for her and you don't need to worry about the effects of her sock on your shoehorn.

 Name That Game Geek
Last week's geek, really whipped you freaks into a frothy lather - something she's still doing to this day, apparently.

This week's geek was already honing his stud skills, even at the tender young age below.  Check out that haircut... you just know he got all the 2nd grade hotties!

"Hey baby, wanna be in my game?  Unf unf"

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