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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Walking Sperm Bank.
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  The trouble with freakin nutcase ex girlfriends, having half your penis hacked off just because you might have the chance to sail the tuna boat to the fish factory, nerds who give up life for Quake, an interesting plea for homosexual id love, and a girly geek who was way stylin for the early 80s.


   I Smell Boiling Bunnies!
Basically, my ex girlfriend won't leave me the hell alone, and keeps ringing me and shit.. and when I see her she's always trying to kiss me.. basically it's fuckin' annoying and she won't take the hint.. I'm very interested in another girl and I've told her so.. but she won't let up.. the other thing is that I don't want to hurt her by just right out telling her to 'get fucked'..

-Stalked

You know, sometimes you just have to suck it up and say "get the hell away from me you skunky walking sperm bank!" and hope for the best.  This nutso chick obviously isn't taking any hint you're giving her, so you're going to just have to come right out and say it.  She's figuring if she keeps this stuff up, you won't be able to actually break up with her because she won't "let you".  Bzzt, wrongo.  Unless she has some really nice leather restraints, she isn't keeping you anywhere.  So tell her hitch up her panties and head off on her way; you've got a life to live.  Oh, and uh you might want to avoid seeing her, ok?  At least that will spare you the agony of her climbing all over you and stuff.

  Clipping The Wings Of Love For One Flight?
A good friend and I have been talking about getting together some night and playin around a bit. I'm a 19 year old virgin and sorta looking forward to it, she's very hot and it's cool and all. However, her comment lately has been that a guy who has not been clipped can't hold out all night. So again, I bring up the age old question- how would this effect me? Does she really have a point there? Where would I have it done, and what would it cost me? I can tell she wants me to do it, but it'd be lame if I wasn't happy with it. It ain't like it's comin back.

-Turtleneck

DON'T DO IT.  PLEASE.  For godsake would you cut out your tongue if she asked you to?  Don't go and hack off part of your body - a very useful part, I might add, because of this.  This girl doesn't know what she's talking about.  Even if she happens to have done the bouncy bouncy with one intact schmekkie who happened to be a quick draw - heck, I've slept with a few that WERE clipped who couldn't make it more than a couple of minutes.  Your foreskin serves some very important purposes: Protection.  It keeps the glans moist and sensitive, as well as keeping yucky stuff (sand, fuzz, sardines, broken glass) out.  Without it the bare head of your penis would be in constant contact with your underwear, other clothing and god knows what else until it became "calloused", at a great loss of sensitivity.  Lubrication: Your body manufactures a substance called "smegma" which is not unlike the girly goo that chicks make - it is there to keep things nice and clean.  Then there is the all important gratification factor: when you have bump ulgies with your "friend", your foreskin will slide up and down, adding a second dimension to the intercourse.  That would be gone.  Boo hoo.  Oh, and if you're the sort who uses your foreskin for, well... self pleasure purposes, that would be gone too.  Forever.  And ever.  *shudder* 

Every female (and uh, some males) I know that has had the pleasure of sleeping with an intact penis says that it is MUCH better than bald penises.

   Nerd Alert
I like to play Quake, but it's getting in the way of my normal life.  I would almost even rather play Quake than have sex.  My girlfriend is pissed off at me.  My mom is pissed off at me.  Even my damn dog is pissed off at me because I play Quake instead of taking him out for walks.  I even kept playing the other day while he humped my leg just because I was in the middle of a skirmish that I couldn't look away from without getting killed.  I just want to play Quake, I don't even want to go to school.  Help!

-Mortimer

Nerd.  Yes, I'm talking to you.  You are a great big flaming droopy nerd.  You probably knew that already, though.  What else is going on in your nerdy world?  Is it really that you love Quake THAT much, or are you burrowing in and hiding from something else?  It sounds to me like you're pissy with life in general and Quake is an all too convenient escape route.  Or hey it could just be that you like having your leg doghumped, I'll probably never know.  In any case, you're not doing anyone any good, most of all yourself.  Set some limits.  Give yourself a certain period of time daily when you can play, and then play... but stop when you're time is up.  I don't care if the Mynx bot has you in a leglock, you turn off that computer.  Pay attention to your girlfriend.  Pay attention to your dog.. just don't confuse the two. 


   Mmm.. Big Gay id Boys 
Is it wrong for me to have lustful thoughts about Paul Steed, well, especially Paul Steed, but most of id in general?  I'm 22 years old, I do data entry, and I'm a really big fan of their work and somehow somewhere in my mind the line has blurred and I've started adoring THEM, not just what they do.  Do you know if any of them are gay?  Gay and single would be nice, too, but not mandatory.  Do you think I have a shot?  My mom says I'm hot and that any girl would be lucky to get me.. only I don't want a girl.  I want one of the id studs.  Can you introduce me to any of them?  Preferably Paul but anyone will do.  Thx Mynx your the best.

-BgHrdn4id

Oy vey.  Ok well even though I'd like to say the opposite, I'll tell you no, it is not "wrong" for you to have lustful thoughts about Paul Steed (if that were "wrong" a whole lot of people would be going straight to hell heh) or any of the other id boys... although I'm sure they would tell you differently.  (Un?)Fortunately I am unwilling to divulge which way any/all of those boys swing... A good number of them are married, though.  I'm sure Paul and his coworkers are flattered and stuff that you find them so luscious (and who doesn't?) -but honey, this obsession of yours just doesn't sound healthy.  In fact it sounds a little tootie fruity to me - and so on that basis, I'm going to say no, I won't be introducing you to them anytime soon.  And uh - just for the record - you might not want to go around telling people that your mom thinks you're a hottie, ok? 


 Name That Game Geek
Last week's geek got your panties in some twists, too.  Bowlcuts will do it for geeks every time, I'm tellin ya.

This week's geek was moving in and taking over boy's clubs before she even hit puberty!  A chick with a big gun... now that's what I like to see.




"Girls rule the planet, yeah baybee"


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