Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take
your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just
a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk
to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!
Week: Sharing vibrators with your parents, getting
great big stiffies from Q3A (and don't we all!), wondering
if fisting the mister actually good for you, getting over
the fear of having your manfish snorkled, and find out why
KillCreek won't be in Playboy magazine afterall. You
heard it here first.
Not too long ago, I purchased a battery operated sex toy for
my girlfriend as a prank/gift. She was away at school
and I intended to give it to her when she came home for holiday.
I stuck it in my nightstand and forgot about it. I REALLY
REALLY forgot about it, entirely, because I didn't think to
move it when we had relatives come stay over the holiday and
my parents used MY room while my grandparents used theirs
Anyways my gf did come home and I still didn't think
of it until she found the receipt and demanded to know what
I was purchasing from the Pleasure House. Ack - I scrambled
to my nightstand drawer, and it was GONE. My parents
took it I think! Nobody has said a word to me and probably
never will. OMG, what do I do?
man, am I glad I'm not you. Of course, if I were you,
I wouldn't have stored it away and forgotten about it, either,
but that's another story. Now, you guys know me, I'm typically
all for just opening up and talking out the issues... but in
this case I'd have to tell you to just leave it well enough
alone, unless dear old dad, uh, brings it up or something.
I mean sure, they are probably wondering why their sweet innocent
son has a kong dong hiding in his nightstand, and wondering
just exactly what you've been doing with it while your girlie
is away at school... but really, I still think you should just
let it go, unless you want to be explaining what you are and
aren't doing with this big old battery powered eel and your
Boing Boing Boing
I have a problem. You see, when I play
Quake 3 Arena I snap a bone. I have NO idea why! My friend
suggested that it is from the great use of lighting and textures,
but I justhit him for being a idiot! What could it be? what
has id done? The problem is made even worse as I have a LAN
party coming up and we'll be playing Q3A there. And I don't
want to embarrass myself, please help!
I taught you lumplickers ANYTHING? There isn't a problem
here. Nay, in fact it is personally reasonable!
I know if I had a penis (and don't we all wish I did!) I'd
be pitching a tent every time I even thought "Q3A".
Holy balls, how can you not?! Don't worry about your
lan party... all the other guys will be walking tripods too.
It's just the nature of the geekbeast. As long as you
don't excuse yourself to go grease your goose, you should
fit in just fine.
Is Monkey Grinding GOOD For You?
I was wondering if there is any actual
advantage to masturbation (as
opposed to not doing so). I mean, health, growth (more erections
= more stretching), performance, anything like that.
Well, I'm not aware of any documented cases of wookie enlargement due
to punishing your piggy, sorry. If that were the case
I can name a whole bunch of net nerds (you know who you are...
BELHADE!) who would be carrying around like six foot
long schmekkies from all the munchkin punching they do.
There are some mild health benefits, just like any other form
of mild exercise, provided you um, keep it up for 15 minutes
at a time. Your heart pumps, you sweat a little, you
work some muscles. A nice cardiovascular activity -
the only exercise some people (hi Belhade!) get. So
don't stop doing it or anything, and at least you can rationalize
that it's sorta good for you.
No Soup For YOU!
I'm 18 and in college, and I have a
girlfriend with whom I am quite involved. We haven't had
sex yet, but we've done just about every activity between
holding hands and the culminatory act. Here's my problem,
straight out. I enjoy pleasuring her in any way possible,
but I am almost completely turned off, disgusted in fact,
by her performing fellatio on me. I think I might have some
negative connotations associated with it. I've seen my share
of porn, and in every situation involving a woman going
down on a man, the man appeared to hold a superior position
(conversely, the woman held an inferior position) to the
woman. And not just in a physical sense. So I just can't
get past that. What's the dilly-o?
Er okay this would be one of the problems some people have
with porn availability; the claim that it messes with
one's expectations of actual sex. I would have
to say that your expectation is indeed pretty wack.
Do you refuse to go to Japan because Godzilla might get
you like in the movies? Stay at motels because you
might get stabbed in the shower? There can be loads
and loads of hangups associated with various sex things,
but really, I'm of the position (so to speak) that between
two people who love each other (or even like each other,
at least for a minute or to) there shouldn't be anything
"disgusting" about sex. Nobody is inferior.. you're
both there, active and willing participants. I say
grit your teeth and close your eyes and let her give it
a shot, if she wants to. You'll probably like it.
Don't you enjoy doing things for her that you know she likes?
She probably feels the same way. Let her have a go
at the ole tubesteak. If you still find yourself with
such issues about it, perhaps find yourself a special doctor
friend to confide in... although it will probably not be
a good idea to let him have a go too.
Do you know when Killcreek's playboy
thang is coming out. You said before that it was pushed
back to may but the may issue is out and no killcreek.
= ( Any new info?
yes, I do have some new info. I just spoke with
KC about this, and unfortunately, it seems she won't be
appearing in the magazine after all. Here's
what she had to say:
"Long story short, the Lara Croft issue flopped. Based
on this, they have decided to run the pictorial on playboy.com
instead of in print. They feel it is the best fit for
a video game related feature. So thats the bad news,
but the good news is they will be running all of the
same pix, and actually many many more than they would
have run in the mag. Lots of extra pix.. including even
some of the test poloroids and behind the scenes stuff,
and a bigger interview. The pictorial will go live
on May 11th. Some pictures will appear in the free
area, with the full deature online in the cyberclub."
there. You'll just have to go register with playboy.com.
Name That Game Geek
Last week's super geek
titillated you all with his tights and cape...
This week's web geek
has all your Valves plugged... can you guess who?