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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Tall Glass O' Pee
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  Condom acrobatics, will too much yanking cause a crook in the chook?  Just how gross is it to want to taste pee?  Girls that want to boink while you play Quake (I still don't see the problem with this), and a reader questions Mynx on Killcreek's boobs.  All sorts of chewy goodness.

  Mmm.. Chewy!
Can you explain to me how people bite a hole through a condom, and how you know how spermicide tastes? You know, the typical place to put a condom is in a woman, not on a popsicle. Or do people actually open them with their teeth because their hands are typically busy at the moment that they really need a condom? Uhh, yeah. Or maybe you ladies have certain... senses down there that we don't know about. Hmm??

-Rubberator

You didn't know women have taste buds in their vaginas?  Jeez man what rock have you been hiding under?  Well, okay, so we don't.  But it's kind of a nice thought don't you think?  It's not hard to find out what spermacide tastes like.. unless you always leave your little wookie in one place once you've put it there.  As for the biting part, it is "recommended" that the schmekkie be covered before going near *any* orifice.  Doesn't that sound pleasant?  Ergh.

  He's A Lefty
My bald headed friend is a bit crooked to the left when I get a hardon. is this normal (does it mean I yanked it too much?)

-Rubberneck

You know, they say that the president of our fine United States has a (herpes marred) left hander.  What this says about his yanking practices, I dunno, but let me tell ya, it would take a whole heck of a lot of one handed sausage polishing to actually begin to cause a physical change.  If I recall my 9th grade health class, there are tissue "tubes" in the mansteak that fill up with blood to cause the stiffness.  A curve is often caused by something as simple as one of the tubes filling up more, or less, than the others.  If it doesn't cause you, the one you love, or your dog any discomfort, don't worry about it.

    Eeeeeeeew
You're the only person who I can really ask this to (and every Dear Mynx reader out there), but my problem is that I get... uh... turned on by the smell of urine. There. I said it. Is this a normal or a sick thing? And is it ok to taste it?  Thanks mynx if you can help me out!

-Peenut

Well, yeah, I gotta say it's a pretty sick thing.  Well, I mean, we're not talking about someone peeing on your forehead or something, though, right?  I mean just being interested in the smell of something is quite a different ballgame than say, wallowing in or drinking it.  Oh, wait, you want to know if it's okay to taste it.  Yuck.  I'm told that pee is actually sterile, and have heard those stories about people drinking their own urine to survive, so I guess it won't kill you, but I'm having a difficult time getting past the 'oh god that's disgusting' factor.  If you must have pee to sniff in order to get your woody on, you may have a pretty serious fetish.  If it's just sort of an extracurricular fun thing for you.. ugh, I guess, have at it.  All things in moderation though, 'kay?  Ew.

   Quake Sex!  Woo!
I have a major problem. Lately, every time I start playing Q3A, my girlfriend insists on having ...umm ... sexual relations. It's as if she is using her womanly charms to prevent me from fulfilling my destiny as a Q3A god! Sometimes it's possible to ignore her when she dances greased and naked before me with our pet boa, Kris, but when she starts doing a Lewinski with my cigar, I have to stop playing and take care of business! On the other hand, if I just sit quietly with her and watch some lame show like Dawson's Creek, I get no bouncy-bouncy. Should I consider buying her a toy to help fill the void in her ... er, life ... while I am playing quake, or will I be just fragging my sex life permanently? These are choices no Quake devotee should ever have to make! Please help a fellow player going through major changes.

-Fragged

I fail to see the problem here.  So you have to get a little funky with your girl before you have at some frag action.  And you're COMPLAINING?!  Godsake, man, think about what you are saying!  You're a geek, by some stroke of luck you manage to have a woman, and she actually wants to suffocate your muskrat on a regular basis.  So you find it a little troublesome to be interrupted just when you want to frag... start up your game a few minutes before you actually intend to play, and then wait for her to move in for the kill.  When you're done, play Quake. Everybody wins!

   KillCreek Pr0n, Part Deux
So Killcreek is gunna be nude for all to see soon.  Will you look?  Does it freak you out to think that she'll be like butt nekkid for everyone to wank over?  Will you let Mental look?  Will you critique her nippage in the next Dear Mynx?!

-Bunnyboy

You know, never have I seen such hoopla over a pair of naked boobs in all my years.  Well, I did have a pretty good year myself there once, but you know what I mean.  You won't be reading any nip critiques here, and I think it's great that she's worked her ass off (literally) to be in nudie pic shape.  Will I let mental look?  Sure.  We'll probably be looking together.  I don't see what the big deal is... if I really wanted to see her naked, all I'd have to do is ask.  She told me so. ;) 

 Name That Game Geek
Last week's super geek plugged up the valve for every one of you, since you all guessed *wrong*...

This week's geek came over to id at the 11th hour.




"Mmm, crumpets..."


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