Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take
your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just
a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk
to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!
Week: Do women want length or width? What's
a normal winkie DO when it gets all atwitter? Some
guy is obsessed with id and doesn't deal well with change,
and some other guy has some.. well, "issues" with my
smutty columns. Tsk tsk.
Tall or Chubby?
So, here's the deal... Which is it that women prefer: length,
or width? I've asked people (girls, obviously) at school,
and around that I CAN talk to about these sorts of things,
but all they give me were lame arse answers.... "I don't know.",
"It doesn't matter.", or "As long as they know how to use
it. (Well, no DUH!)" I mean seriously. If you
had to have one or the other, which would you prefer... all
things being equal that is... (in usage). IE: 8.5inch
length with 1inch girth, OR 6inch length with 2inch girth?
Don't get me wrong, in the end (not literally, of course)
I'm sure it really doesn't matter, depending on the girl I
suppose.... But, for all intents and purposes... humour me.
if I could have it my way, I'd say BOTH. That's right,
gimme long AND thick. But hey, if forced to
choose, I'll say width. Long and skinny is fine, but hey,
you've got hands, right? You don't need an 11th finger.
Granted, girls don't want you to be packing around a coke bottle
in your pants, but a nice thickness is a happy thing.
I will have to agree, though, that no matter what, how one uses
the hornless rhinoceros is the best indicator of gooey goodness.
Up, Up, And Away!
Is it normal for a penis to stick up
during an erection instead of forward? Not like 90degrees,
more like 60 or 70. Well? Am I deformed?
You're fine. Some sway to the left, some sway to the
right, some slap the bellybutton and some just sort of jut
on out. The only thing that would disturb me would be
if it sort of drooped sadly toward the floor. Even if
it were full steam, it would still look like a sad, lonesome
little winkie, not a big happy ready to get down to business
winkie. In fact, let's make "winkie" the word of the
day. Winkie! Winkies for everyone!
You're my last hope Mynx. I can't
stop thinking about id. Romero left, Wilson left, now
John Cash is gone too?! I can't take this anymore
- I really can't. id is disintegrating before my very
eyes and I'm on the verge of losing it. What can
Well, you can get over it, for one. I'll admit, I too
was shocked and dismayed to hear of Cash's departure - he's
been around id for a long time, grasshopper. But people
grow, people change, people need new underpants. To
you, id may seem like this utopia where everyone represents
all that is good and holy about gaming.. but you know, for
the people that work there, it IS a job, just like you have
a job, just like I have a... er wait... um, anway you get
the point. Console yourself. You've still got
Paul Steed at id! That should be plenty to make you,
Mynx Is Disturbing (Ya Think?!)
I am greatly disturbed about something
and I blame you. I find myself aroused whenever I
read your writings. Reading about the dysfunctions
of others for some reason really makes me excited.
This is YOUR FAULT. If you didn't post such smut I
wouldn't be in this position. I hope they remove your
column from PQ.
Oh yeeees. Of course it's my fault! It's all
because of me that you are a sexual deviant. You still
live with your mother, don't you? You sneak into her
room while she's away and steal her underwear and her bibles.
God only knows what you do once you've got them. But
don't think mom isn't aware of your sick behavior,
young man! She's totally on to you... she knows exactly
what you do all locked up in the bathroom. Bad!
Repent repent repent!
Mynx Heads Out
Well kids, it's about crunch time for
the release of Quake Baby v2.0. Her official
due date is 5/28/00 (10 days from now!), but from here on
in it could literally be any day, even as late as mid June
- although we aren't hoping for such a thing, are we now?
:) I'm going to be hanging up my advice giving bullwhip
for now, but in the meantime, I've got some great guest
hosts lined up to keep you little fetishists entertained.
Keep sending in your
traumas, I'll be back from maternity leave with a new
column on 6/29.
Name That Game Geek
Last week's geek got Hellchick's
panties in a twist - but she's just that way when
it comes to crumpets, y'kno?
This week's geek... good, bad, he's the guy with the gun.