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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Winkies!!
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  Do women want length or width?  What's a normal winkie DO when it gets all atwitter?  Some guy is obsessed with id and doesn't deal well with change, and some other guy has some.. well, "issues" with my smutty columns.  Tsk tsk. 

  Tall or Chubby?
So, here's the deal... Which is it that women prefer: length, or width?  I've asked people (girls, obviously) at school, and around that I CAN talk to about these sorts of things, but all they give me were lame arse answers.... "I don't know.", "It doesn't matter.", or "As long as they know how to use it. (Well, no DUH!)"  I mean seriously.  If you had to have one or the other, which would you prefer... all things being equal that is... (in usage).  IE: 8.5inch length with 1inch girth, OR 6inch length with 2inch girth?  Don't get me wrong, in the end (not literally, of course) I'm sure it really doesn't matter, depending on the girl I suppose.... But, for all intents and purposes... humour me.  :)  Danke.

-Stiffy

You, if I could have it my way, I'd say BOTH.  That's right, gimme long AND thick.  But hey, if forced to choose, I'll say width.  Long and skinny is fine, but hey, you've got hands, right?  You don't need an 11th finger.  Granted, girls don't want you to be packing around a coke bottle in your pants, but a nice thickness is a happy thing.  I will have to agree, though, that no matter what, how one uses the hornless rhinoceros is the best indicator of gooey goodness.

  Up, Up, And Away!
Is it normal for a penis to stick up during an erection instead of forward?  Not like 90degrees, more like 60 or 70. Well?  Am I deformed?

-Stickemup

You're fine.  Some sway to the left, some sway to the right, some slap the bellybutton and some just sort of jut on out.  The only thing that would disturb me would be if it sort of drooped sadly toward the floor.  Even if it were full steam, it would still look like a sad, lonesome little winkie, not a big happy ready to get down to business winkie.  In fact, let's make "winkie" the word of the day.  Winkie!  Winkies for everyone!

  id Obsession
You're my last hope Mynx.  I can't stop thinking about id.  Romero left, Wilson left, now John Cash is gone too?!  I can't take this anymore - I really can't.  id is disintegrating before my very eyes and I'm on the verge of losing it.  What can I do?

-idhead

Well, you can get over it, for one.  I'll admit, I too was shocked and dismayed to hear of Cash's departure - he's been around id for a long time, grasshopper.  But people grow, people change, people need new underpants.  To you, id may seem like this utopia where everyone represents all that is good and holy about gaming.. but you know, for the people that work there, it IS a job, just like you have a job, just like I have a... er wait... um, anway you get the point.  Console yourself.  You've still got Paul Steed at id!  That should be plenty to make you, um, "happy".

   Mynx Is Disturbing (Ya Think?!)
I am greatly disturbed about something and I blame you.  I find myself aroused whenever I read your writings.  Reading about the dysfunctions of others for some reason really makes me excited.  This is YOUR FAULT.  If you didn't post such smut I wouldn't be in this position.  I hope they remove your column from PQ.

-J. Fallwell 

Oh yeeees.  Of course it's my fault!  It's all because of me that you are a sexual deviant.  You still live with your mother, don't you?  You sneak into her room while she's away and steal her underwear and her bibles.  God only knows what you do once you've got them.  But don't think mom isn't aware of your sick behavior, young man!  She's totally on to you... she knows exactly what you do all locked up in the bathroom.  Bad!  Repent repent repent!

  Mynx Heads Out
Well kids, it's about crunch time for the release of Quake Baby v2.0.  Her official due date is 5/28/00 (10 days from now!), but from here on in it could literally be any day, even as late as mid June - although we aren't hoping for such a thing, are we now? :)  I'm going to be hanging up my advice giving bullwhip for now, but in the meantime, I've got some great guest hosts lined up to keep you little fetishists entertained.  Keep sending in your traumas, I'll be back from maternity leave with a new column on 6/29. 



 Name That Game Geek
Last week's geek got Hellchick's panties in a twist - but she's just that way when it comes to crumpets, y'kno?

This week's geek... good, bad, he's the guy with the gun.




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