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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | I'm Baaaaaaaack!
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.  Back in the saddle agaaaaain!  Woo hah.  That's right, kiddos, I popped out my little potato and lived to tell the tale and now I'm back, bolder and badder and crankier than ever.  There's even a new little fun "feature", sure to provide some entertainment in the weeks to come.  Strip down, settle in, and hold on.  Boing!

  Misfire!
Well, I'm not going to drag this out so here it is: I think the final stages of puberty have begun to kick in (about time: I'm 8 months away from university) but unforchntly this has come in the form of wet dreams.  No, I'm not wetting the bed, just I dream of something really arousing and next thing I know I wake up with wet boxers.  Now, ether they didn't cover this in school or I forgot it and my parent sure never talked to me about this sort of thing, so I have a few questions.
The major one is: Will this go away? Is it like a womans period and I just have to deal with it or will it eventuly stop happening?  In ether case is there a way to prevent it from happening (without perment changes) or at least decressing the effects?

-Ballbearer

You never can tell, unfortunatley.  Generally, yes, this is a product of overactive adolescent hormones and will fade a bit as your hormones rage a little less.  Typically, these sorts of nocturnal gysers are rampant through the teen years, and do eventually slow down to a near-stop in adulthood.  Much as I give advice, though, I do fall short of actually HAVING a penis, so I can't really tell you how better to deal with it, other than perhaps attempt manual extraction prior to sleep?  Beyond that, why look a gift horse in the mouth?

  Demanding Chicks
Hi Mynx.  Just want to say you're pretty spiffy before i ramble. :)  Ok, Wise One, I have a problem.  In 3 weeks my girlfriend is due with our baby.  I love her very much, and I love our baby very much.  I just got a job today doing construction, ( a temporary job) and I will be working a lot.  My girlfriend, on the other hand, wants me to spend all my time with her because she really needs my emotional support right now.  I understand this, but I don't want to have our son born into the world and have nothing to buy him diapers with, and I don't want to let my girlfriend down.  I'm being pulled in two directions at once, and I'm busting at the seems!!  I see my girlfriend as much as i can now, and I plan to ask her to marry me right after the baby is born, maybe sooner, but if I don't work then I won't be able to support her and our baby.  Am I doing the right thing by working?  Will she forgive me?  Please help!!

-Working Stiff

Ah, who better to discuss demanding chicks than I!  I'm like the original demanding chickzor.  Don't fret too much over your girl.  There are hormones at work here that you cannot even BEGIN to grasp.  I'm tellin ya.  Just smile, nod, tell her you love her and GO TO WORK.  Call her when you can and remind her that you still exist, bring flowers home, practice some prostaglandin applications, yadda yadda.  Expect her attitude to continue on this path for a few weeks even after the baby is out.  Not long after Meredith was born Mental found me sobbing my head off one morning.  Why?  I knew he had to go to work.  But it got better, now I can't shove him out the door to work fast enough! :)  Trust me, grasshopper, by doing your job you are, hey, -doing- your job.  You need to provide for the little nipper, and stuff.  Oh, and I may as well mention.. cloth diapers are way spiffy.  I've got two kids in 'em.  On purpose!

    Floaters
Hi, my girlfriend and I really want to have sex (first time for both of us), but we don't want to do it in a bed like everyone else.  We want to do it in her swimmin pool.  Is it hazardous at all for her if it gets chlorine in it?  We really want to do this, but not at the risk of getting dangerous pool cleaning chemicals up her...

-Watersnake

Well.  All I can say is, hey, I've done it.  More than once.  But quite honestly honey, it ain't all that fun, unless you're one of those faster than a speeding bullet types, in which case it would be over before it starts getting uncomfortable.  Mostly, sex in water is a little difficult because the water inhibits the body's natural lubrication.  It cuts right through it and makes banging the waterwombat pretty much just Not So Much Fun.  Beyond that, it's not all that easy to get your footing for some leverage... Anyway, when I did such things, I was but a teenager, and didn't stop to think about the possible icky yuckies from pool chemicals, as I would now.  I would caution against such a thing at this point, even though I never suffered any trouble.  If you really want water, try the shower.

   There Can Be Only ONE... Right?
I need some advise, I've met and been going out (about 5 months) with a girl I have strong feelings for ... but because she is my First serious Girl Friend ... I don't have much experience in terms of Dating related stuff (Ex: Sex, and everything but)

We've brought up the topic of our Past ... and the different people she has dated and people I have "Kinda" dated!  When the idea of "fooling around" came up ... I found out she is more experienced then me, in terms of what she has done. She has insisted that she has never done the "Deed" itself before ... but she does have experience, except actual Sex!

And not until recently it has started to bother me ... for some strange reason it makes me feel kinda empty and worried, but I don't know why ... and It makes me have slight doubts about her past.

I really don't know who to turn to ... so I am writing to you ... Please Mynx ... give me some advise ... I really really need it!

-Gimpkeeper  

You need to settle down here, bronco, before you pull an OJ on this poor gal.  I've said this many times before but always find it worth repeating: Her life before she ever even knew you just ain't your bidness, baybah.  Now, granted, it can be intimidating to think about the one you love (and your first love!) ever grunting and sweating over someone else - but hey, think of this in a positive light-you get to reap the benefits of her experience!  Woo hoo!  She had to learn how to tickle your bellybutton JUST SO *somewhere*, right?

   Penis!
My friend... and you know its gotta be about my friend since I sure as hell dont have a third leg of my own. Anyways, my friend lets call him Peter... hes concerned his little friend might measure up a bit short. I cant say as I have extended knowledge of these things, so who else am I gonna ask? You of course, with your divine wisdom of all things penial :)

Peter's 16 and half or so, seemingly has reached the end of puberty (stands at 6foot already), and measures about 6 and a half inches when 'excited' (or so he says, cant say as I know firsthand :P). I was under the impression 6inches it pretty average, but what do I know? ... Not really too much.
 
So... Mynx help us out, do I need to send him a Swiss Maid Penis Enlarger or not?  As always, thanks girl : )

-Pumperupper 

That's not his bag, baybee!  Peter's pecker perks perfectly.  Or something.  I'd tell you to twist your tongue around that one but apparently you don't think of him "in that way".  How kind of you to check up on his porker like this!  You can reassure him that yes, he's just fine - average, indeed.  At his age, however, he could very well continue to grow; nothing is ever final at 16.

   Can You Say "Stereotype"?
I've been wondering about this for quite sometime now.  Men want sex as we all know. Why do women only want sex in the context of a relationship?   Why is it that way?  I know physically that they could just have sex. But mentally, they just won't.  Why do they have to have a relationship first in order to have sex?

-Duper  

It is very very hard to make sweeping assumptions based only on gender.  I've known plenty of girls who would rather "not get involved right now", as well as many many guys who were "looking for that special someone" (gag).  It's more a matter of personality than gender.  That said, I will go on to mention a theory many people hold - that biologically, men are driven to reproduce and basically spread their seed - ie, boink everyone and everything they possibly can in as short a time period as possible to ensure the continuation of their genepool.  The people that hold this theory say that on the flipside, the female of our species is therefore supposed to be the 'nurturer' of the resulting offspring.  I dunno; I think it's more a matter of impulse control and personality, m'self.  But hey that's just me.

  Losin' It
A new "feature" here at Dear Mynx... Gaming personalities talking about that magical "first time".  It happens to everyone, even us geeks (well, most everyone), and there's always a tale to tell.  I promise to even share mine, eventually.  This week's deflowered geek is none other than our favorite madman, the Levelord.

"...well, well, well, ...we have to go back a loooong way for this one, but okay.  It was indeed a long time ago, not because I started putting raisons in muffins at an early age or anything, but because I am so old.  Actually, the Levelord, the Good and Humble, was indeed a late bloomer.  I bordered on the embarrasingly late, even.  I didn't wrap the taco until I was 19-years old.  What was embarrassing was that I had been in the Navy, of all things, for 2 years.  Imagine that, a virgin sailor, ...back in the time of free love and no threat of Death By STD.

Anyhow, I do indeed remember the first time.  It was with Kelly, in Norfolk, Virginia, on my birthday, about 4pm-ish, and The Sting was on the television.  There was baby oil, good herb, a bottle of Rebel Yell Whiskey, a queen-sized mattress on the floor of my otherwise-furnished apartment.  I can still remember the tactile feeling, and I definitely agree that the first time is the best time in many ways.  Maybe it was because I had been lubbing the crankshaft manually for 5 or 6 years, or maybe there really is magic inb that first encounter, ...incounter? ...whatever.

Probably not sloppy enough for Dear Mynx Readers, but that's the way it happened."


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