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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Ribbit
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  How to go about measuring your wookie, net.chicks in love, just how inadequate are you if your banana goes soft after peeling, and net.guys in love, who love me (yay!).  It's enough to make you moan. 

  Measuring The Stubby
I'm 16 yrs old, male, and I've been wondering, how should I measure my tool? is it from the base or where it separates from the orbs of love or from the bottom of those same fellows downstairs or what? I've measured it as 5 1/2 inches from the base (7 when I'm exited) and 2 inches around in diameter.. is this a good size? I think that most women like width more than length... and also, do women like their testicles hot and loose or cold and tight? what about you mynx? :)

-Mister Fister

Such is the question that has plagued men since the unit of measurement was invented.  You could easily garner yourself a couple extra inches if you measure from the bottom - but in my ever lovin' wise and all knowing opinion, that's just, well, cheating.  You measure from the top, since your abdominal wall is pretty much where any penetration will END.  Your size is fine, and as for the testicles.. um, I personally don't have them, so I can't tell you at what temperature I prefer them.  Sorry.  As a casual observer, however, I'd have to say I prefer the cold and tight look.  That just looks nicer to me, as testicles go.

  Net.Love
Logically I know that I should have no feelings for some guy I've met over the net...but try as I might to ignore the feelings and try as I might to rationalize I can not stop thinking about this fellow gamer who has commandeered my heart....I have even gone as far as to picture the vilest guy imaginable and still to no avail I can't stop thinking about this guy...we talk for hours on end...we have some sort of chemistry that I know isn't "real" cause it's online but it still feel authentic...this guy has me hook line and sinker...I mean we can argue about something and it's that kind of arguing that a couple does before they get all hot and heavy....Mynx help me! Our gaming interests are sooooooooooo similar and everything feels so connected and real...but I know it's not but still I have lost it...I have even *ahem* masturbated with him staring in my fantasy (in the fantasy I can't see him) a few, well may be more than a few times.....then at the site we regularly visit there has been three new members who have come and responded...not in a flirtatious way they just made a comment about something he said...and I am jealous! What is wrong with me...I want to stay away but I can't please help me!

-Nettie

Hey, if you're looking for someone to tell you this is a bad idea, sorry honey, you've come to the wrong gal.  I'm all too familiar with your situation... something about personality meeting personality with nothing else in the way... really sauces my taquito.  I've always gotten sucked in by charming game dorks online, I just can't help it - and I eventually married one.  The nicest frag I ever had!  If your situations permit, keep getting to know each other.  You might find he's got a mighty nice rocket launcher.

  Unce, Tice, Fee Times A Mady...
I sort of have a problem that shouldn't really be a problem. Let me explain. I've been going out with my girlfriend for more than a year now, and although she says she's not ready to dunk the monkey, we've managed to get ourselves up to just about everything else. Now, being the loving boyfriend that I am, I take her pleasure as seriously as my own. In fact, I find it an incredible turn on to make her feel good (sexually or no). This is where the problem is - once I've, umm... squuezed all the juice out of lemon, Mr Happy quickly loses interest. I then find that I have practically throttle the hose beast myself if I want anything to happen. I can tell this makes my girlfriend feel inadequate, but I can't do much about it. Of course, if I finish first, there's no dramas. Only being able to keep a hardon when I'm making clam chowder has got to be the best fetish I've heard of, but it's becoming a problem. What say you?

-Floppy 

Well uh, by all accounts, being able to keep your schmekkie at attention AFTER it has horked is a pretty rare trick.  In fact, what you describe sounds more or less... normal.  Your little winkie thinks he's done his job once he yoinks, so he basically rolls over and goes to sleep.  You need to tend to your girlfriend, and THEN let the mayo fly. 

   Yet More Net.Love
o, here I was, surfing the net when I decided to visit this site called PlanetQuake (actually I've never visited this site before, mainly because I really don't like Quake any much). I'm welcomed by a page with quite ugly colours, and three silly dudes on the upper-right corner of the screen, "Holy crap", I utter to myself. I then read all the links on the left bar to see if there's anything interesting. "Dear Mynx", one of the items on the feature list, I found that pretty funny, what the heck kind of section could that be for a Quake site? I click on it, I then is presented with a bunch o'links, I click again, then suddenly my eyes widen and I'm shocked. "*This* on a Quake site? Why did I ever hate Quake in the first place?". After reading a bit I'm hooked, laughing and learning new things as I read and read until this very minute, and it is has now gone some hours (the time reads 05:30 AM, ouch). I don't know how much praise you get, but let me tell you're doing a terrific job, giving out professional intelligent answers, and well, your coloumn is simply great. Although I still cannot comprehend the fact that this is on a Quake site, perhaps I never played the Quake games long enough to realize it. Now as I'm writing this I might as well tell you about a dilemma I've had lately. There's this girl I've known for quite some time (about a half year) and we're very good friends. After this time I've really begun to like her, and now I fear I may be in love. The really bad part is that she's on other side of the world (literally), and our friendship is based on the mere geeky internet. And now I'm not sure what to do, I think of her constantly every day, should I tell her? And risk our friendship? Or try to bury my feelings? My best suggestion so far would be to knock myself out with a big hammer, and when (or if) I wake up hope my worries are away. Help me, dear Mynx, you're my only hope!

-Geeklove 

Oh, go on witcho bad self!  Flattery will get you EVERYWHERE!  I'm on a Quake site because... well, because I AM La Femme Quakeholio.  So there.  As for your geographically undesirable girlie, I say tell her.  You're suffering in silence, here, and she has no clue what it is that is bristling your bunghole unless you share it with her.  Or you could try the hammer thing, but I'm pretty sure when you wake up you'll still be in lovesick pain, with a big throbbing lump on your head.  No fun.  So tell de girl, give her the chance to make you all gooey and giddy with her response. 

  Losin' It
Gone fishing.


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