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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Bend Over.
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  A nerdy guy who wanks to pixels, a winkie in a tight turtleneck, a gal who really (really) needs to be restrained, an ode to booty, and a call for Curvy.  You got some sick friends.  Limber, though.

  Mmmm... Pixels!
yeah, hi, u see, I have a crush on Lara Croft... that's right the chick in
Tomb Raider. She is so Hot, every time is see a pic of her i get a hard
on... I have to admitt i do "shake hands" down stairs with a few pics of
her... What shoud i do??? is this normal??? I understand that... YES she is
a computer figure... and YES she is not real, but she still turns me on...
Mynx... What should I do????

-Crofty

I gotta say you are not the first to say such a thing, or yank such a thing.  Sick and twisted as you may be, you at least understand that she is not real and don't mind that while making the pickle pucker.  I'm not sure I find a real problem here, other than the fact that you are a sad little nerd with no social life.  I don't take issue with you wanking to Lara Croft.  I take issue with Lara Croft and Eidos thinking we need a sixteen year old girlchild to have tits the size of pumpkins (happy halloween!).

   Help For A Tight Helmet?
I'm a 16 year old uncircumcised guy, and I think my foreskin's too tight. There's a word for it, but I can't remember it. Anyway, I heard that a cut and an uncut penis should be undistinguishable when erect? My foreskin covers the head of my John Thomas and the opening is only about half an inch across! Shouldn't my foreskin be able to be pulled right back behind the head? I want to either get circumsised or get my salami fixed up, but I'm nervous about going to a doctor. I haven't been to a doctor for any reason in eight years and if I tell my parents that I want to go to the doctor they'll want to know what it's for, and I sure as heck don't want to tell them! Thanks Mynx!

PS- What's the link between the Q3A Mynx and yourself? Which came first? Thanks!

-Turtleneck

The condition is called phimosis.  Things that I've read said that the foreskin should be retractable by puberty.  Yes, your foreskin should be pulling back over the glans, but you don't need to be circumcised.  There are a few things that can be done, the easiest being gentle daily stretching of your little scooter, to steroid creams.  You probably should just suck it down and go see a doctor.  Check out foreskin.org for detailed photos of what a normal adult male penis looks like.  As for Mynx (Q3A), I came first, but then I usually do.  She was not created in my image, (as I would never wear frosted pink lipstick) but she is named for me.

  Tie Me Up Tie Me Down!
I have been dating the most wonderful man for over a year now.  We are both comfortable with each other and enjoy an active sex life.  Early on in our relationship, we both discovered that we were interested in trying bondage as an aspect of our sex life, so we gave it a try and we love it.  Our problem is that we have discovered that we are both of a submissive nature.  This causes a bit of an imbalance and so we tend to alternate who gets tied up and who does the tying.  The problem is that lately we are both wanting to be tied up, but neither of us really wants to do the tying.  Occasionally we will just do it because we want the other person to feel good, but it is not the same because we know the other is only doing the tying to make the other feel good, and not becuase they get off on being dominant - which tends to take a little away from the experience.  Short of bringing in a professional to dominate us both, what can we do?

-Whipper 

Well tie me up and smack my smuckers!  Ok, well, actually, don't, I just enjoy saying "smack my smuckers".  What you describe is actually commonplace in many bedrooms.  Not the bondage and domination fruity stuff, but the imbalance of enjoyment.  I'm of the opinion that you gotta be willing to give if you wanna get.  I think what you are doing is right, in alternating who gets to dominate and who gets to submit.  Just like what I tell my three year old, everyone gets a turn.  You don't need to have your limbs wrapped in leather in order to enjoy what you are doing with each other.  Yeah sure, it can give a little zing in your thing but it should not be necessary.  If you can't enjoy the nookie unless you're restrained, that may not be exactly the healthiest thing in the world.

   Got Some Funk In Her Trunk!
My crush has a big booty.  I think she is totally phly and I want to ask her out but my boyz are making fun of me for wanting a chick with such back.  Is it okay to like big butts?  


-Booty Man 

I could never say it as well as those prophets Spinal Tap.  So I shall defer to them:

The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin
That's what I said.
The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
Or so I have read.
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo.
I love to sink her with my pink torpedo.

Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about bum cakes,
My gal's got 'em.
Big bottom,
Drive me out of my mind.
How can I leave this behind?

I saw her on monday, twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean.
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheekday
You know what I mean.
My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game's waiting there inside her tights

Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about mud flaps
My gal's got 'em.
Big bottom
Drive me out of my mind.
How can I leave this behind?

  A Message For Curvy!
I managed to lose your email address while galavanting between coasts and I have received more mail than you would believe from Quake geeks who want to get to know you.  If you want the affections of a bunch of nerdboys, drop me a line!


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