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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Ichabod.
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  Porn addict seeks help, a guy with a girl who wants to be the wife, a guy that's a guy who wants to be a girl but then a guy, and the odds of giving yourself an STD.  Can I get a Amen?! 

  pr0n!!!!!!
I am very addicted to porn. I am fairly sure that it has something to do with me being introduced to it at an early age (8 or 9-ish). Now I'm 25 and tits gotten to the point where I am downloading it constantly at work, which could get me fired if anyone notices. I know this is unhealthy, but I can't seem to kick the habit. I don't want to end up some dirty old man who cant get off to anything less than tied up, feces flinging, necrophiliac, animals. Can you suggest anything that might help me quit, or at least help me to lighten up a little?

-pornopheliac 

Welcome, dearheart, to what is called "desensitization".  The more porn your greedy little nads soak up, the less it will rock your, er, boat.  I would like to point out your Freudian typo, it is just so obvious you have porn on your mind.  Downloading porn at work is quite clearly a cry for help, here... you are an addict and you must be stopped.  Your friendly neighborhood La Leche League leader would tell you to wean "gently and with love" when weaning a child from le boobies.. so I will tell you to wean yourself from porn "gently and with love".  Or, maybe just gently.  Start by dropping your workday porn.  You shouldn't be buffing the banana at work anyhow.  Once you are able to get through the day without porn, try dropping your before-work browsing.  Keep it, well, keep it up until you have reached a level of porn that you find will not disrupt other areas of your life.

   I do! You don't?
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for around two years now. I can honestly say that I love her, and she loves me. My problem lies in, she keeps talking about getting married and having children... and she keeps saying how she is ready to have a family. While I know she doesn't mean right this second, I get the feeling she means in the next few years. Being only 18, and a freshman in college, I would rather not be thinking about that sorta thing right now. It almost makes me feel like I am already "obligated" to marry her because she keeps talking like that. I feel unable to tell her that she is moving fast, because every time I hint at it she gets really hurt because she interperates it as "I don't want to marry you". Which is not neccisarily true. Any idea's on how to talk to my g/f about this?

-Shotgun Groom

Ah yes.  I used to be that girl.  I will point out to you that I am not married to the boy to whom I said such things.  See, you gotta understand...  At your age, in a steady relationship, a girl is really keen on the whole being a grownup getting married settling down thing.  Such a tender not-quite-a-kid not-quite-an-adult age.  I think what your girlie is really looking for here is some reassurance that you "really" love her.  Try giving her a promise ring.  Those go over really well.  It is kind of like an engaged to be engaged thing.. without actually being engaged, namsayn?  You can tell her what you just told me: you love her but when she goes on like that it kind of freaks your juice out man because you're like, only eighTEEN, you aren't ready to be making those kinds of lifelong decisions yet.  It is not so much that your feeling is NO.. just not right this minute.

  He.. She.. He
I'll get the rump rubbing outa thu way quick. You write the best advice collumn ever in the unaverse and should have a statue of yourself made. Ok, now to the dirty stuff. I am a 20 year old guy, and like most other kids who caught the tail end of the 80's and the horror we call the 90's, i have a pretty active imagination. Well, as a kid, I alway thought it would be kinda neet to become a girl for a day or two. And now that i've gone through that whole sexual regeneration process, I still think it'd be kinda cool to become a girl for a day or two. But my thinking is more like having surgery and experiancing sex as a chick, to see what it feels like and then having it reversed. My biggest thing tho is this: Is this a normal thought, or is this like, gonna make ppl look at me wierd if I ever said anything about it. What do you think?

-Jo(e) 

Well yeah pretty much you'd get some weird looks.  Maybe a few screams, points and stares, too.  There is an old saying... older than you or dare I say even me... something about grass being greener on your backside, or something.  As I always say, nobody has a right to tell you how to fantasize, not even your mommy.  But like.. probably best not to run around broadcasting, either, dig?

   But Can You Get Pregnant?
I was wondering and have been for a while if you can get any diseases like HIV,etc from masturbating?  


-Worrywart 

One moment please.
 
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahhahaahahahhahahsputtergag...
 
Ahem.  No.  You cannot contract anything from yourself.  I don't care if you are hanging upside down from your nadsaq, yodeling the star spangled banner and flogging that beast of a hose... you are not going to give yourself a disease.. at least, not any disease that I am aware of.  Note, though, that dogs, goats, and hamsters are NOT classified as mastubatory tools and thus are excluded.


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