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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Feedbaq.
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  Feedbaq!

   I Suck!
Merry Christmas!  You suck worse than fargo!

Bettar than Fargo, actually, but hey nobody's keeping score here.

   No Buttlove?!
I've noticed you have an, uhhh, objection to rear ended love.  I'm not amajor fane either, and I certainly don't want to receive any (being a hetero bloke) but I know some ladies who quite enjoy it.  Really.  Now spill, was there a bad experience or something?  Tell the world.  Well, the geeks anyway.

Riddle me this: why would you want to stick your schmekle where there is poo?  Huh?? WHY?  And as for me, why would I want to feel like I have to poo during love?  Huh??  WHY? 

  Why?  Why Not?
Ok, I don't like quake, I don't like planet quake, and I've never heard of "dear mynx" untill I saw it linked on Penny-Arcade.  I'm not one to critize, hell, I'm an idiot. But in all realality, who asks for advice relating to there love life or possible questions in heterosexuality, as most of the dirty minded quakers tend to ask, from an advice collumn on a quake site?  I understand your a person of sound logic and good advice, and probobly a whole heap'a lot smarter then me, but I'm just not certain I see the logic behind seeking advice from the same site which probobly somewhere recomends I play quake.
Thats not just my anti-quake agenda speaking, I'd question it all the same if I saw a primarily realationship related advice collumn on any game site.  Hasn't it occured to you that your giving people the latest news in the world of gaming AND helping people deal with there "personal" problems on the same site?  Do you really think thats a good combination?
quake mods+why you havn't had sex by the time your 22... I just don't get it. Maybe theres a hidden factor explaining it all that I just don't see. Perhaps a quake player saved your life when you were vacationing in Tibet and you feel a debt to the entire depressingly geeky* community, and this collumn is just your way of paying it off. (*i mean that in the nicest way)
Anyways, why? I realize I'm probobly the last person to question what ANYONE does ever, as my primary role has always been: idiot, but that dosn't stop me from asking.

To paraphrase Samantha Fox, who once sang, "Naughty girls need love too"... Mentally unstable gamer nerds need help too!  Ok so that actually didn't have anything to do with Samantha Fox but she was worth mentioning anyhow.  This column actually began as a Quake and Quake community... "thing".. but as the content is generated by what readers submit, quickly evolved into the work of art you see today. 

   Hellchick Rules
What-the-f?  Who do you think you are?  Are you some sort of wannabe Hellchick or something?  I don't get it.....

Yes.  Yes I am.

   My Fans Love Me!
yuo bitch!  where do ya get off talking to ppls the way you do!  i hope you F*ck*ng die!

Well my young rump rangering aussie friend, I hope you have a lovely holiday season as well!

   Oh... Goodness
hi do you fuck sissy boys like me in the ass with a strap on? how big of one would you use on me? my asshole is a virgin bye the way.

Nope.  Sorry.  You'll have to speak to Demonwench about that.


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