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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Go play unweb.
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  Wang.  WANG, I SAY!  That's right kids, first we had Dear Tycho, now we liven up the booty with Dear Gabriel!  Oh baybee, how I love those honey bunches of Penny Arcade goodness!!

   Weeniemon
I'm like every other guy out there. I play video games can't figure out why women don't love me and have a small penis. Big deal. Oh, and I wank. Yup, I pet the weasel. I know it's ok. I've seen you say it is ok a thousand times. The problem is how often I do it. On average I'd
say I wank 3 times day. It isn't uncommon for me to do it 5 times on a saturday when I have nothing to do. I think the most I've done it in one day is 8. I've been doing since fourth grade. I just kind of did it one day. Nobody taught me. Is this bad? I'm a virgin. Is this going to affect my sex life?

A mans wang is a lot like a revolver. It comes loaded with a limited number of baby bullets. Doctors put that number at about 126 for the average male.  From what you have told me you spent those puppies long ago and are now more than likely fireing blanks. like a revolverr it is possible to re-load ones wang. Unfortunatley it requires a very expensive not to mention painfull operation.  

   Wank wank wank!
Short and Sweet. How often does the average male choke the chicken, and how old is he before he stops, or is it a lifelong thing?

Well it all depends really. Many young boys born and raised in the city have no access to a farm or farm animals. These poor unfortunate souls might go their entire life without knowing the pleasures of stragling the occasional flightless bird. However those of us lucky enough to have grown up in the country generaly start terrorizing the delicious birds as soon as we can
walk. It's not uncommon for this pointless act of cruelty to continue until we are so old and weak that we can no longer maintain a grip on the slippery foul.

   Superstiffy!  Shazam!
I am a faithful reader of ur page and i thinks it's cool.Anywayz...I have this problem u see.Sometimes...well almost every time when i'm at work behind tha computer i get an erection that wont quit. It starts in the morning when i arrive at work and lasts till i go home and when i come home big willy seems to have settle down. The only why i could like stop this is to *WANK* like hell in tha bathroom at work.hehehe..lol (wankin at work) Anyway. Is there any explanation for this? Is this like a curse?????

That is really wierd man. I have never heard of anyone else ever having a problem even remotley like that. I mean it dude, there is something really wrong with you and your wang.

   Goatse.cx!
I'm your average heterossexual 23 year old male and something's been bothering me lately. I've been checking a kind of pr0n on the Internet, it's.. uh... hmm.. well, male pr0n. OK, STOP GIVING ME THAT LOOK!! It's not ANY kind of male pr0n (like that'll help)! I've been appreciating looking at men with HUGE cocks, massive thick ***** rammers! I don't know what's so exciting about them, I guess I keep fantasizing how totally arousing it would be to have an enormous wanker. It'd be so easy to score with chicks, all I'd have to do is
flash them my genitals. Ok, I know I'd still need some foreplay but just telling them I have a really massive cock (and being able to prove it), women would probably KILL just to have a peek and drool all over it! Wow, it just kills me with envy when I see those pictures of men with thick and large ...well ok, I think you get the idea.

Now I've been collecting these images of huge wongs for a while now and, even during masturbation, I'd rather look at them than female pr0n, they turn me on so much more than fantasizing about women! Considering I'm straight and intend to stay that way, is there
anything wrong with all this penile voyeurism? Btw, I'm an average 6 and a half incher (just in case you need to know :p)!

No need to stress buddy. As long as everything you just told me is a complete and utter lie you have nothing to worry about.


    Kiss My Trout
Well,I have big feelings for a girl and I don't know wether or not she has feelings for me.She is a big flirt,and has flirted with me a few times I believe(There has been several ocasions where she has 'accidently' touched my..um part).She has also'fell' on me.I know this might just be her way of flirting and such.I am just extremly shy around women,and I don't know if I could even get with her or not.I just have strong feelings for her and I have been trying to determine if she cares or not.The flirting I stated last happened about 2 months ago,and hasn't happened since.I don't want her to think I don't like her because I'm not coming on to signals.I just don't know what to do.

I have found that more often than not girls who you suspect of having feelings for you really don't. My advice to you is to accept the fact that she is more than likely just clumsy and these so called "feelings" of hers are all in your head. You need to shut yourslelf of from the outside world and resign yourself to the fact that you will never know the joy of intimate contact with a woman. Just think though, without the requirements of a fulfilling life enrching relationship to worry about you will finally have time to concentrate on your magic card collection. Imagine the comic books you will be able to read rather than concentrating on the thick black depression that comes with lack of human contact. Think about the positives my friend and you'll be just fine. Of course she also might really like you in which case you need to suck it up and ask her out.

   Oh  Tom Tom The Dog Man
What is the norm for blokes to urinate? I have sat all my life and I reckon it beats standing any day. I can handle standing, no problem and I do in public places, for the convenience, but when more private, home or a mates house, its sitting all the way. I suppose part of my problem is that when standing my little fella doesn't work too well, and doesn't quite get a 'hole in one'.

Am I a freak or something?

It's funny your story remindes me of the time my dad took me to the circus. I must have been about 6 years old and the entire experience was quite overwhlming. To this day my memmory of the event for the most part is a blurr of clown faces,balloons and animals in silly hats. However I remember one part of that day with total clarity. It's an image that will stick with me I imagine until the day I die. My father an I had reached the last car of the circus train. In the earlier cars we had seen "Tom Tom the dog man" and "Billy the boy who eats lightbulbs". They were nothing compared to the horror that awaited us in the final car though. For it was there in that car that I saw "The man who sits to pee!" Immediatly upon seeing this
monstrosity I broke down a began to sob. To this day a shiver runs through my body at the
very thought it and it takes all my strength to fight back the urge to vomit.


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