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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Wang
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  Just what IS it about those gay folks, tell me a tale of a penis, Mynx's juju, what to do about stiffies, and penis names, what happens when you don't have tits, and bisexual chicks.  Give it to me baby, uh huh uh huh! 

   How To Be Gay
Hey Mynx, I've got a kinda weird question (though judging by most of your letters, I think this is gonna be fairly normal for one such as yourself), concerning gay men.  the thing is, you understand how a heterosexual male such as myself and others finds the very thought of even kissing another man (let alone having sexual contact with one), completely and utterly wrong / disgusting ?  my question is, do gay men think the same thing about kissing or having sex with a woman? or do they just simply "not get" what the appeal is in women, and would prefer someone who can go into bat with them?

thanks for your help :)

I've known many gay boys over the years, and I'd say nearly all of them think girls are great and fun and all that, but they just don't charge the old lightning rod, if you namsayn.  There have been a couple who would wrinkle noses and say "eew, girls are YUCKY" if you asked them; this is unusual, in my experience, because typically girls aren't big, stinky and hairy like men are.  This makes it easy to not find them disgusting. :)

   Penis Talk!  My Favorite!!
Hi, I'm an average 17 year old male, now first off what do you think is a good size for a mans penis?  I mean really, because alot of women say it doesn't matter, be we all know that's not the case.  As well I'm not sure if you've even seen those baners on the web that claim you can enlarge your penis by traditional methods without surgury, they say you can make you penis grow by working it out, i'm not sure, but would this mean lifting weights with you penis?  It's not that I've got a small manhood ( over 8 1/2 inches ) but do you think it's true that you can workout your penis like any other muscle to make it bigger and provide more enjoyment? 

Well, let me just say I have never actually seen that sort of thing work.  More often than not, if you are born with a teeny weenie, you will die with a teeny weenie, and if you are lucky, while using it.  I know that it is possible to restore a foreskin with some weight therapy of some sort, but weights and penis pumps and the like will pretty much just cost you money and make you feel stupid, walking around doing dick lifts with a tiny little barbell.  I can't actually tell you what *I* think is a good penis size, because honey, ALL penises are good. 

   Mynx's Juju, Stiffies, and Dicktalk.
How does Mental feel about you knowing so much about the male body and what goes on in our minds? I'd feel so intimidated if a chick knew more about my body than I did.

I usually don't have much trouble controlling my sausage, but sometimes when I'm sitting on a bus or the subway and I let my mind wander to normal, teenage male thoughts, I get hard. I don't realize it until I stand up to get off the bus/train. What am I supposed to do about this???

Finally, I'm in desperate need for more euphamisms! I can't bring myself to say 'penis' in public, so what can I say besides schlong, pecker, monkey, rocket launcher, sausage, etc.? 

I don't know.  I never asked him!  I intimidate Mental in so many ways, though, that I would think this would be the least of his worries!

As for your frankenshnerker on the bus, ah, no big deal.  Er.. no pun intended.  Most people won't be looking directly at your crotch so even though you feel like a huge erection is bobbing in front of your face roaring at passerby, most won't even notice.  Make eye contact and smile, and their attention will be held at your face, and not.. well, lower.  

Most anything can be a penis word.  Context is everything.  "hey, you like eggplant?" takes on a whole new meaning when you are shaking your genitals at someone.  It is all in the delivery.

   Losing the Boobeez = Losing the Weenie?
All hail the great Goddess and all that jazz. I seek your wise opinion on this most troublesome matter:

I recently became romantically involved with this great guy. He's a gamer, like me, and we love to kick each others asses across the room. I am really attracted to him, but here's the problem. He, like most men, is way into my breasts. Now, let me clarify something here. I have large breasts, like I wear a size 36 G. I want to get a breast reduction, but I'm afraid that if my breasts get smaller, I'll loose this wonderful, sexy, Quake-playin' studmuffin! What do I do, keep the guy, along with the annoyances that come with large breasts (i.e. backaches, neck tension, headaches, etc...) or get the surgery done and possibly lose the love of my life?

Help!

I don't have to tell you what you already know - if your man leaves when your tits do, he was a worthless piece of shit in the first place, and not someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with.  Having your knockers knocked down is a pretty drastic surgery: all kinds of breast tissue is removed, and you will be very likely to have problems nursing babies, because typically, some milk glands are taken out in the reduction.  You will have an upside down T shaped scar from your nipple down, and you may lose nipple sensitivity partially or completely.  Now, I am typing this while wearing an H-cup, so I know the pain of which you speak.  Get yourself a good bra.  I mean *good*.  Go to an actual bra shop with trained fitters and get properly sized and fitted.  This will help you a good bit with strain problems, because the bra will do a lot of the supporting that your back, shoulders and neck do now.  If you end up getting the surgery, and your man gives you problems, remind him that you love him despite his miniscule penis, and then tell him to eat butt.

   Bisexual Chicks
Ok... ive heard that all women have bi-sexual tendencies, but ive asked some very close female friends and i get mixed answers.  What is your opinion have you had thoughts of that nature?  Do most girls have those tendencies as far as you know?

"All women have bisexual tendencies" is such a load of poop.  Talk about male fueled propaganda!  Sure, I know tons of bisexual chicks and few bisexual guys, but I think girls are just more willing to admit such things.  I'm going to have to disappoint you here and say no.  "Most" chicks aren't bisexual.  But, there are a good number out there, maybe if you behave yourself you'll happen upon one. :)


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