Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take
your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just
a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk
to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!
Week: Rats, and rat love. Confusing chicks and the messages
they encode, gay Chinese guys who want Paul Steed, and
checking in on condom sizes. All this and more, brought
to you by.. well, me!
At Least Its Not Gerbils!
I'll spare you the worship session.
has several pet rats, and though they do make good pets,
he is getting a little too into them. Not only
odes he play with them like you should any other pet,
he constantly smells them, has them lick inside his mouth,
and puts them on his face to breathe them in! I have told
him to quit it, but he just says they smell so
damn good! I think he has some sicko-pervish obsession with these rats! How do I make him
stop before he turns into some wierd rat-tapping
gracious. I mean, really, they are RATS.
Rodents! Yuck! There are a good number of things I
will consider putting in my mouth and RATS ARE NOT ONE OF
THEM. The good news here is that rats do not have any
orifices large enough to accommodate your brother. I
don't want to even think about the reverse. He probably
is just an, uh, "animal lover" who adores his pets. I
think it is sick and even a little disgusting, his practices
with those rats, but at this point he's not doing anything
"wrong" with them. You're just gunna have to, well, look
the other way, and try not to
all i must confess i'm not a dedicated reader of your fine column.
I've read it occasionaly, and i often hear how good you
are from the guys at work, who seem to adore you.
it came to my understanding that you help people out with their
problems, and i recently stumbled upon one which could only be helped by
a well educated female like yourself (Actually, I knew fargo
would never answer my email, and you're my second choice). Today
i've recieved an ICQ message from a female
friend of mine, and i just cant understand what the f**k she
is trying to imply. here is the message:
i just figured what this all is about.... i never knew u loved
yourself sooo much, and then it hit me - valantine's day!! i
hope you and yourself r having a great one
Please mynx, for the last two hours i'm struggeling
with myself to understand what did she mean by that, but i
think only another female could really understand. Please
mynx, you have to explain such a simpleton as myself what's
the meaning of a message like this, and you would spare my
alot of pain if you'll tell me the blunt truth. please, i beg
must say I have no freakin clue what the hell
that message means. If chicks came with
decoder rings, you'd find us in cereal boxes.
We ain't that easy. You should probably just ask her
what the dadgum spooey she was talking about, because it makes
no sense whatsoever. I personally think
she may be the devil... but that is just
Second to Fargo? That's a new one.
Gay Chinese Guys
I want sex Paul Steed. I am homosexual gamer
from China and I am happy saying this. Paul Steed is homosexual?
Everyone wants sex Paul Steed,
dearheart. Unfortunately (?) our dear friend Paul is
very much Not Gay(tm). He may even tread into homophobic
territory, but he is a-okay with that. I can certainly
understand, and even support your fancy for some nice Steed
booty, though, because... I mean.. have you SEEN that Steed
booty? Hubba hubba. Sorry, honey, you're going to
have to find a new
How wide does ur man sausage have to
be to be able to fit a condom on it without it falling
off or anything? If
you could just give me a quick reply I would appreciated
Our resident penis expert in efnet #quake, fRy, did some
investigating for me on this one. It seems that the
average condom is 52 mm in diameter. That is, your wee
willy winkie would have to measure at least 52 mm across to
fill it up. Anything smaller than that and you do
run the risk of it slipping off. Condoms do actually come in
sized varieties, so if you are willing to grab on to
your little porker and do some fact checking, you will probably
be able to find one that suits your, uh, bacon bit.