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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Mmm, breastmilk!
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  No teeth on the wookie!  Mansechs, wifely condoms, EverQuest sucks, and is breastmilk yummy?  Love, love me do. 

  NO TEETH NO TEETH AIIE NO TEEEEETH
Mynx, i need your help so badly. you're my only hope.  ive been goin out with this chick for about half a year now and just recently we have started exploring the more intimate part of the relationship (ie. oral sex). ive got no problem with this, except...she has a bad habbit of drawing back with her teeth whenever she goes down on me. she doesnt seem to notice cause it is usually dark.  i cant bring myself to talk to her about this, however the damage she is causing is definately impeading my ah...personal private pleasure at home, if u know what i mean.  Also it is extremely painful everytime she goes down on me. tell me what to do, i am stuck between pleasure and pain, possibly permanent damage the way she is goin. plz help me, i dont wanna hurt her feelings, but i cant go on with this,  appreciate anything you  have to say.

You just gotta, er, come right out and say something along the lines of "eep!  No teeth!" or, I've found, "ow!" usually works.  You should not just be sitting there taking the torture, my friend.  You don't really need to pick a time out of the experience to sit down and discuss it with her, unless she keeps it up.  Heck, she may not even have any idea she is your own private black & decker pecker wrecker!  You can even offer her tried and true oral formation: Tongue out, upper lip curled in.  Works every time.

  Gaysex.  (No, Really!)
(insert butt-kissing here) I'm your average 17-year old geek, except (Sorry!) I play Tribes 2 instead of Q3A. Oh, well. Except I'm gay too, but that's not part of the problem.  I have a boyfriend that I've been together with for quite a while. We're both happy, and he's great. But we've often considered and tried sex, but I can't. When it starts to get nice, I freeze up and he gets worried. I think the only way I could do it is if he raped me, but he refuses. What can I do? Is it linked to a past event, or what?  I'm begging, here. This has been going on ever since we first started trying about a month ago. What is wrong with me?! (classic question)

There's nothing wrong with you.  It is possible that you're just not ready to make the jump into bunghole spelunking with your loved one, yet.  It sounds as if your mandingo there is a kind and understanding soul - give him the honor of being trusted.  Tell him that maybe you're just not ready, and maybe you could wait a little while before you try that particular activity again.  Give yourself permission to be a little unsure and nervous, here.. it is just fine.  You're exploring new territory - you'll make it eventually.

   Yeah, Uh Huh.
I have a kind of interesting dilemma.  My wife travels a lot within our state for her job, and recently, she has started coming home with condoms in her car.  The first time I confronted her about it she laughed hysterically and said that the other techs like to play jokes and that she'd been targetted, thus the condoms.  Ok, I bought that.  Now, every time she comes back from a work order, there are condoms in her car, she swears its the pranksters but she can't make them stop.  Do you believe her?

Well, no, I don't believe her, but then... I'm sane.  What is the MATTER with you, man?  She is completely yanking your chain (or, actually, someone else's chain!) and you are just bending over and asking for more.  I don't have a solution for you, but... dayum.  Grow some gonads and stop chugging the crap she is feeding you.

   Irreconcilable Evercrack
Is EverQuest grounds for divorce?  Tell me it is.

Yes.

   Is Breastmilk Yummy?
I kinda find myself arounsed by the idea of breastmilk... is that okay?

I'm not going to tell you that this is a good or a bad thing.  I could hypothesize all night long about how you probably weren't breastfed and how you have some deep seeded need to reconcile your forced weaning... but I won't.  I'll just say that breastmilk is sweet, it is warm (when served fresh), and no, you may not have any of mine.  Neener neener. 


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