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    PlanetQuake | The PQ Poll | 02/16/00

The PQ Poll: February 16, 2000
Got poll questions you think we should use? Email them to!

Which id game had the best single player plot? (submitted by Mushi[LoL])

Answer Votes
Quake 1. All that dark, satanic stuff just makes me feel all warm inside.
Quake III Arena. No plot is good plot!
These games have plots?!
Quake 2. The Strogg are my heroes!
Commander Keen!!

Pappy-R: It's id's plot to conquer the world through the mind waves included in the games that I like best. Carmack is my leader...Beep!
shaithis: Quake2 had the best single player plot of the bunch, tho it wasn't exactly like.. good or anything.
Hellchick: What is this, "As the Arena Turns"?!
Fragmaster: Commander Keen, no question. Quake II's "fist through the top of my car" ending sucked a goat nard.
Lee'Mon: What?!? Quake III Arena has no plot? Are you insane? It's the best damn plotline I've ever seen! That soliloquy that Klesk gave after having his arm blown off by Nazi shrapnel... I cried, I really did. And Lucy and Biker's first kiss... how can you not vote for that?!? I don't know what storyline the "normal" version of Q3A has, but the l337 Gold Letterbox DVD Edition I paid for (by obtaining a second and third mortgage) is an epic tale for the ages. [looks at watch] Oh, look. Time for my medication.

Spyke: Commander Keen, of course! I still can't get enough of that game. Now all it needs is multiplayer capability, and it'll be a hit! Can we say, "KeenSpy"?

What's more embarrassing?

Answer Votes
Getting killed by someone with a higher ping than you
Blowing yourself up
Getting killed with the gauntlet
Getting killed by someone who plays more UT than Q3A
Falling into the lava/slime/void
Being caught by your wife/girlfriend/other saying, "Ohhh, Hunter...come see my rocket launcher o' love..."

Fragmaster: Getting owned by the bot in the first level on the easiest skill while John Carmack peers over your shoulder and laughs so hard that he coughs ten gallons of spit into the back of your neck.
Pappy-R: All of the above combined to make fragalicious death scene is the most embarrassing. It can be done with just the right amount of lag.
shaithis: When Buckshot shoots me in the back with a shotgun, blasts me into the air with a rocket as I turn around, and then rails me before I hit the ground... and I'm still trying to get my finger to press the mouse button.
Lee'Mon: Three highly hyphenated words: Five-year-old button-mashing child/cousin/sibling.
Hellchick: When id's Robert Duffy completely trashed me on that Xaero level recently in a quick 1 on 1 game. Man, that sucked. I still have the bruises to show for it.

Spyke: Getting fragged by Fargo. Yeah, it's happened, and I'm not proud of it, but I had 25 health, it was a small room, I sneezed, and he had a rocket launcher. The bastard.

Have you downloaded and used the Q3Tools?

Answer Votes
Hell yeah, I'm one l33t haX0r that's going to make the coolest map this side of Jeff K.!
Nah - I just like to play the game, not edit it.
I downloaded them, but I haven't used them.
Q3Tools? Are they warrantied by Craftsman, or something? Is Bob Villa selling them?

Pappy-R: I was waiting for the manual. Now I'm waiting for the version that fits the manual. I could avoid this forever. MUAHAHA!
shaithis: I download editing tools for every game I can. Q3A is no different.
Fragmaster: Hello, a magic elf appears with sudden burst!
Lee'Mon: Ever hear of Milieu?
Hellchick: I've been playing with Q3Radiant so I can become a l33t mapper like Jeff K. Frag Castle 2000 r0X0rs!

Spyke: Damn straight I have. I've messed around with Q3Radiant, but I'm not a mapper.. as for the source code, I spend my weekends poring over the gospel of Carmack.

Which gameplay mode do you play Q3 as? (submitted by James)

Answer Votes
DM - I shoot everyone I see.
Team DM- I kill for my team.
1vs1- I will get YOU.
CTF- I must help get the flag.
More than one of the above.
I don't play Q3, and my mommy tucks me in at night.

Fragmaster: Deathmatch. Also, Q3 CTF is crap.
Pappy-R: Combination of answers 1 and 2 here. I play Team DM and STILL shoot everything I see. I'm very popular with my teammates.
shaithis: Mr. Pants's "Excessive" mod is the only Q3A game type I will play. It rules. Period.
Lee'Mon: Single Player, particularly with mods. My pipeline's wide enough, and I've got the skills, but I can't seem to talk my friends into a good bashing. Consequently, I'm forced to spend most of the time playing with myself. [pause] Wait. That sounded wrong. [pause] Wait! That all sounded horribly, horribly wrong! I can explain! I...
Hellchick: I kill everything I see in every game mode I play anyway. It's all deathmatch to me!
Spyke: CTF and Team DM. Everybody versus me. I always win, baby.. it's as simple as that!

What would you like to see more of on servers? (submitted by Stewart Clan)

Answer Votes
A bigger variety of maps. Levels are like crack!
Porn. Oh, wait, we're talking about Q3A. Sorry.
More mods. I'll play 'em all, even that lame one with the glowing balls and the Pikachu powerup!
Nothing, really; I like the servers the way they are.

Pappy-R: Less talk and more action. Please people, I do not know what Hellchick is wearing.
shaithis: We need a radium for the Q3A mapping scene, so people actually know which user maps are worth running.
Fragmaster: More talk and less action. Q3A should be like IRC.
Lee'Mon: Porn mods. With tons of levels. But I'll shy away from the glowing balls and Pikachus... that's a bit kinkier than I'm willing to go.
Hellchick: For the record, I'm wearing overalls and rubber galoshes. Okay, I'm not really wearing the overalls.
Spyke: More nude skins. That and servers running the more popular user made maps.

How important is it for your significant other to be a Quake player? (submitted by LTrey)

Answer Votes
Very important! I use Quake as a screening process for dating!
Not really important. Leaves more game time for me!
Somewhat important; I like to think we'd have the same interests...and I play a LOT of Quake.
Not important at all. Who cares?!

Fragmaster: Only crazy nutballs play Quake. Except me.
Pappy-R: It's very important and I'm very glad my better half plays. I wish I got as much play time as her.
shaithis: Sorry, but "Plays Quake" is further down my checklist than "Will give nookie often". Much further.
Lee'Mon: I have convinced myself that a woman was attractive simply because she liked Quake. Is that so wrong?
Hellchick: Doesn't matter to me. If he didn't play, it would just be more computer time for ME.
Spyke: "Significant"? "Other"? These words are foreign to me. But yeah, she'd probably just take my computer, which I couldn't live with.

If the GameSpy Grudge pitted the Quake Guy against the DOOM crate, who would win?

Answer Votes
The Quake Guy! He's got an axe, for Christ's sake.
It would be a stalemate: the Quake Guy would rocketjump to the top of the crate but be unable to open it.
The DOOM crate. C'mon, that things made of the same stuff they make the black box out of.
What the hell are you talking about?! Are you people on crack?

Pappy-R: They can't fight, it's hidden within the code of the game. Another gem from Carmack, my leader....Beep!
shaithis: It's only the funniest, most interesting general gaming site on the net. I'm not biased. Really!
Fragmaster: Nobody wins when Fargo is involved.
Lee'Mon: We set up a simulation in Generations once... the results were cataclysmic. We must take great pains to make sure that a battle between these two powers never occurs, or the entire universe is doomed.
Hellchick: I'm going to buy a giant DOOM crate for my cubicle.

Spyke: It would have to be the stalemate... The Quake dude would just sit on top of the crate, grunting and firing rockets, while the crate chuckled ever-so-quietly to itself.


Who are these people anyway?

Hellchick is the PQ Site Director, or at least has convinced her friends that she is.
Pappy-R is PQ's News Jockey and Part-time Table Dancer.
Spyke does the PQ in Review, the PQ Mailbag, and your girlfriend.
Lee'Mon writes articles and editorials for PQ, which means he's really into finding things to complain about.
shaithis is a former PQ Site Director who now spends his days running and sharpening the spikes on the top of his cubicle. You think we're kidding.
Fragmaster also used to run PQ, and now manages and the console section of the GameSpy network. He also enjoys the occasional potted tuna.


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