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    PlanetQuake | The PQ Poll | 04/05/00

The PQ Poll: April 5, 2000
Got poll questions you think we should use? Email them to!

In general, how would you rate your Quake skill? (submitted by Lynnie)

Answer Votes
I SUCK, but at least I own Fargo!
I can hang with most people.
I'm so l33t, I can beat you with one mouse tied behind my back.
I'm right under Thresh.
I am Thresh!

Fragmaster: I can bust it out wit a quickness, infect you with a sickness, and uhh... save the princess. YEAH YEAH BREAK IT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!
Fargo: I'll take all 114 of your bitches who answered that you could beat me on in Excessive. Name the time, name the place! (So long as it's on the PQ server... ;)
shaithis: Depends on the game. Quake1? I could hang with most people. Quake2 Lithium or Rail Arena? I was better than most of the people I played. Quake3 Excessive? I have a 0 ping. I rip shit up most of the time. ;)
Pappy-R: I guess I'm a 10 out of...
Lee'Mon: How good am I? Just good enough to trash all of my friends.
Tetsuo: Quake3: So good even CHRIS LONGDEN is afraid to face me on The Longest Yard. YA, BITCH! The rail is now my close range weapon as well.
Hellchick: I'd say I can hang with most people. I think I'm above average, but I suck like a black hole when it comes to 1 on 1. I'm going to get Dr. Angryman to school me in the art of mano-a-mano.

Spyke: Wow, I didn't know Thresh had 125 multiple personalities. I could pw33n all of them, though. :)

Are you sick of poll questions that involve Quake 3? (submitted by Electric9)

Answer Votes
No - I eat, sleep, and play Quake III all at the same time!
Yes - I'm old school all the way.
I don't care - I hardly ever vote on PQ's poll. In fact, I was actually looking for porn and have no idea how I got here.
I'm right in the middle - Maybe a few less Q3 questions would be nice.

Fragmaster: I think more poll questions should involve a small slice of crumbcake.
Fargo: What do you expect? More questions about Half-Life?
shaithis: Uh... isn't it sort of logical that planetquake's questions would revolve around the game that most of its readers are playing?
Pappy-R: Not yet. Not even quezzy actually.
Lee'Mon: Yes, I am. I shall start submitting questions about Quake 4. Damn old-school Q3A wannabes can't hang with the REAL FPS...
Tetsuo: I vote for more questions about snacks. Snacks are important - heck - even my mom says that snacks between meals are important. PlanetSnacks?
Hellchick: I shall henceforth include many questions about Microsoft Hearts.
Spyke: I think we need more questions involving Chu Chu Rocket. Tsu ba ba ba ba!

Everyone has bad Quaking days. On those days when fraging someone seems as impossible as trying to tie your shoes while drunk, which of the following MOST pisses you off? (submitted by FraGle[RocK])

Answer Votes
Every time I grab the quad, I blow myself up with my own rocket.
Every time I grab the quad I forget I have it and attempt to rocket jump up to the megahealth, fraging myself and droping the quad right in front of the player in first place.
Falling into the fog of death after 5 or more failed attempts to rail a player who was standing perfectly still because he was chatting.
Losing a tourney match 5 frags to 50 to a newbie who uses the right mouse button to go forward, thinks a slug is the name of a bot, and doesn't know what strafing is.
Getting constantly fraged by gauntlets while having the quad and a BFG with 100 ammo.
All of the above happening while my friends are watching, and then successfully completing a come-from-behind-rocket-and-rail-rage to win the match right after my friends told me I sucked and left to raid my fridge.

Lee'Mon: Getting excited during a match and kicking my oh-so-easily-accessible reboot button.
Fragmaster: Bootaco.
Fargo: *pumps fists* Rocket and rail rage! Rocket and rail rage!
shaithis: If you've got the quad and the bfg, and you get gauntleded (especially more than once), you should immediately stop playing, uninstall Quake3 from your computer, and start playing minesweeper.
Pappy-R: Not being able to tie my shoes while playing pisses me off!
Tetsuo: What the - I use the right mouse button to go forward! You got a problem with that? HUH? BRING IT! BRING IT! I'll smoke every last one of you before lunch!!!!
Hellchick: Falling into the fog because I have some spastic reaction to a really great shot or something. Then I just look like a dork who can't walk.

Spyke: Being owned by a sniping rail bastard friend of mine on Q3DM17. I just started jumping off into the void to piss him off. :)

What do you think about the recently released Beta of Q3Fortress? (submitted by Crass)

Answer Votes
It's great! - My significant other has never been able to give me the same amount of pleasure this mod can.
I've got a few gripes - I know Railguns, and you sir, are no Railgun.
Don't like it - Team Fortress belongs in Quakeworld, not Quake3.
35 megs for a beta mod? I've got entire games that take up less space!

Fragmaster: It's pretty cool, I guess.
Fargo: I gotta try that thing out, still. Does it play like Excessive Quake?
shaithis: Oh my god it's out? How did I miss that? *download*
Pappy-R: I was pretty disappointed to find out the "F" didn't stand for Fromage, as in the Gaming Gourmet. Viva Louis!
Lee'Mon: It's a fine TF port, but I'm still waiting on Weapons Factory Arena. Take your time, boys... no, really.
Tetsuo: I swear on my grandmother's grave I'll kill anybody who disses using the right mouse button to go forward. What happened to America? What happened to freedom? I sweat I'll rip your head off and shove it down your neck hole!!! Oh... What was the question again?
Hellchick: I played it, and it's pretty cool, but like Lee'Mon, I'm really anxious for Weapons Factory Arena to come out.
Spyke: Team gaming, classes and I do *not* mix. If I can't just blast away to my heart's content right off the bat, I don't like it.

What do you think about id software's decision to have a "bots only" single player? (submitted by Digitous)

Answer Votes
A stroke of genius! Now I don't have to play with myself! Er, wait, I meant BY myself...
Bots are pretty damn l33t, y0.
I don't really care -- I don't play the single player game.
It sucks! I wanted horrible aliens and incredibly complex missions that involving saving the lives of many scantily clad women!
id Software? Do they like bacon?

Fragmaster: I think id Software hates bacon, because they are already pork.
Fargo: I thought it was kinda dull, because the bots didn't play very interesting games. *ducks the angry mobs*
shaithis: It was an interesting idea, but I can't say I cared for the execution. I'm more of a fan of story-based SP.
Pappy-R: I love a good single player adventure, but I knew what Q3A was about going in, so I'm happy with it. BTW, Rober Duffy has no real appreciation for good bacon.
Lee'Mon: I don't mind terribly, and it certainly did shorten the development cycle for Q3A considerably. However, where did the people bitching about SP go? Are none of them capable of developing their own SP mod? Or have they realized that a complelling SP universe is damn hard to create?
Tetsuo: Ya - I writing my own SP mod right now where you are a piece of greasy limp bacon and - OH MY GOD - You HAVE to use the right mouse button to go forward - that's the only choice - it's like hardwired in! TAKE THAT!!!
Hellchick: Being a deathmatch fan, I kind of liked the whole bots idea. Forget a massive story, I just want to kill things! FEAR MY DEATH MACHINE! Oh, um, sorry.
Spyke: Whatever id does is fine with me. I leave my life in the hands of John Carmack. He will show me the way. I am grasshopper.

If you could improve your aim with any Q3A weapon, which would it be? (submitted by mere anarchy)

Answer Votes
Grenade Launcher - grenades under my own feet are bad, mmkay?
Rocket Launcher - the FPS version of transferable skillz.
Rail Gun - I'd like this as my up-close-and-personal weapon.
Plasma Gun - so none escape the fuzzy balls of death!
Any other - 'cos I can never get to a decent weapon before being w00p3d.
None. You cannot improve on perfection.

Fragmaster: I can't even hit the freaking ground with the rail gun, so that'd be it.
Fargo: I'd like to be able to bind a key to "Put_the_rail" and whenever I push it the person farthest away from me gets a rail slug to the head, every time. Pscchwing!
shaithis: Actually, my aim's pretty good. Our very own HTML guru, dr.angryman, once said "Wow, those are some pretty leet rail skills, shaithis." Good story, huh?
Pappy-R: The Gauntlet! I keep hitting my self in the *OUCH!* There, see what I mean?
Lee'Mon: Gauntlet. I've almost got to be dirty dancing with an opponent before it'll hit...
Tetsuo: d00d - I was playing CTF4 (the space map) last night and I was by my flag and I had this freak all over me blastin' rockets in my face but this other bitch was about to cap on us - and so I had to put the rail in his face and save the cap with no zoom so I could still dodge rockets - it was very complex. What's my point? I somehow did all this while USING THE RIGHT MOUSE BUTTON TO MOVE FORWARD. grrrr....
Hellchick: Definitely the rail. I get my ass beat like a red-headed stepchild whenever I play against anyone good with it!

Spyke: Railgun, beyatch! I suck at it. I need a better mouse though. All the red-headed stepchildren should mailbomb Hellchick now; revenge is at hand, my minions!

If they made id Software action figures (including past id guys), who would you buy?

Answer Votes
Carmack - he'd have the special Coding Action Judo Chop (tm)
Romero - his hair alone would take up most of the plastic casting!
Paul Steed - He gets all the girl action figures
ALL the id guys - I'd collect the whole set!

Fragmaster: Ewww. I wouldn't buy any of those, they'd be all greasy and shit.
Fargo: No Anna Kang poseable fashion figures? *pouts*
shaithis: I'd want Kenneth Scott and Adrian Carmack action figures. That way I could enshrine them somewhere on my desk and sacrafice things to them in hope of attaining an artistic level somewhere near theirs.
Pappy-R: I'd get the Graeme Devine that has the recorded message. When you hit the button, you would hear, "Yes Pappy, that will be included in the next patch, Mission Pack or point release."
Lee'Mon: The talking JC figure. [pushes button] I AM CARMACK!!!
Tetsuo: Which ever one comes wrapped in Canadian bacon - oh - or did I mean ham?
Hellchick: I want the Graeme Devine action figure that walks around with a blackjack behind me. His Super Action Kung-Fu Grip (tm) would be ready any time I opened my mouth to talk about the mission pack.
Spyke: The Paul Steed action figure, because it would come in and with the biggest package.


Who are these people anyway?

Hellchick is the PQ Site Director, or at least has convinced her friends that she is.
Pappy-R is PQ's News Jockey and Part-time Table Dancer.
Spyke does the PQ in Review, the PQ Mailbag, and your girlfriend.
Lee'Mon writes articles and editorials for PQ, which means he's really into finding things to complain about.
shaithis is a former PQ Site Director who now spends his days running and sharpening the spikes on the top of his cubicle. You think we're kidding.
Fragmaster also used to run PQ, and now manages and the console section of the GameSpy network. He also enjoys the occasional potted tuna.
Tetsuo performs miracles that mere mortals cannot understand as part of the tech team at GameSpy. He also really likes bacon. Even more than Hellchick.
Fargo has been around since the beginning of PQ. He's been known to camp everything, including the poll.


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