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The PQ
Poll

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    PlanetQuake | The PQ Poll | 04/26/00
   

The PQ Poll: April 26, 2000
Got poll questions you think we should use? Email them to poll@planetquake.com!



How often do you go to LAN parties?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
All the time - I am a walking, talking, living, breathing LAN party. I carry a hub in my pocket.
245
13.3%
Sometimes, because there's hardly ever any in my area.
735
40%
Sometimes, because LAN parties are kind of cool, but they don't rule me.
304
16.5%
Never - I just don't see the appeal of all the geekness crammed into one room.
465
25.3%
What's a LAN party?
87
4.7%

Pappy-R: I'm a LAN on wheels babee! PapLAN
Lee'Mon: I am moving to the Quake dorm floor of my college next semester. School will be a permanent LAN party.
shaithis: I sort of work at what could qualify as a permanant LAN party... well, after 5pm anyway. Short of that, I really don't go to many at all.
Hellchick: shaithis, you don't really go anywhere if it requires exposure to direct sunlight.
Mynx: I am a LAN unto myself. Well, in my pants.
Tetsuo: Every Beatdown, which is unfortunately becoming not very often. I might have to step up...
The Klesk: SSsss.
Spyke: Once a year, baby... Fragapalooza! Tell your friends.


You know you're l33t when you: (submitted by Maestro)

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
own Xaero at nightmare skill.
83
4.5%
own Xaero at nightmare skill using only the gauntlet.
370
20.1%
go without sleep for an entire night in a marathon Quake session.
212
11.5%
coordinate your wardrobe so that you are always wearing at least one clothing item with a Quake symbol on it.
42
2.2%
have a Quake tattoo.
67
3.6%
realize that the above two answers are more indicative of personality disorders rather than l33tness.
1059
57.7%

shaithis: Oh, I realize, believe me.
Hellchick: When you're the Site Director for PlanetQuake.
Mynx: ...willingly sleep with someone you met in deathmatch. On purpose even.
Tetsuo: Own Xaero at nightmare skill using only the gauntlet on a 386 running Windows 3.1 and a version of Quake3 you h4x0r3d to 16 bit yourself.
The Klesk: Ssss. Xaero campssss. I beats him using spike on heads.
Pappy-R: If you can slap Xaero around like a dog, while making Mod plans and level designs in your head. Then ya got the skillz!
Lee'Mon: You know you're l33t when you stop having to tell everyone. How's that? Huh? HUH?!?
Spyke: When you're more l33t than the Site Director for PlanetQuake. Kind of like me.


Have you beated Xaero on "nightmare"?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Yeah, I 0wned that mofo like a cheap suit.
295
16%
No, but I've come pretty close to beating him.
283
15.4%
No, and my scores are so embarrassing that I required therapy.
309
16.8%
I haven't even tried.
790
43%
Who's Xaero?
160
8.7%

Pappy-R: He cried at the end. It was sad really, so I don't do it anymore.
Lee'Mon: Sure, using my new modification. "if 'username' == 'Xaero' then 'userlocation' == 'wrong_place'".
shaithis: What's the fun in spending hours memorizing patterns? When I beat a bot at that level, I want it to be due to superior strategy, not avoiding the bot's perfect aim and memorizing when he's going to run around a pillar into my railgun.
Hellchick: I haven't yet. Yesterday he beat me 15 to 7. I think he's sending me threatening notes scrawled in pig's blood to taunt me. Oh wait - those are from Spyke.
Mynx: I seem to have misplaced my "beated list". Sorry.
Tetsuo: Does tossing my monitor on the floor while he was displayed on it count? Oh - and the pattern thing - that too.
The Klesk: Rails, arr, so many rails, sssso much bleeding...
Spyke:What the hell are you talking about? (hides pig's blood)


Did you beat Shug-Niggurath without telefragging her?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Yes, because only chumps beat her by telefragging.
392
21.4%
No, it's next to impossible any other way!
833
45.6%
No, I never beat her, no matter how hard I tried.
64
3.5%
I never got that far in Quake.
151
8.2%
Who the hell is Shub-Niggurath?
385
21%

Lee'Mon: Sure, I hotwired Give All, Give Quad, and Fire and left it on all night.
shaithis: Yes, because I didn't happen to know that you could telefrag her until after I'd done it the other way. Interesting note: If you didn't patch Quake, you could only beat her by telefragging.
Hellchick: My dirty secret is that I never played through the single player Quake. [pauses] That isn't a requirement for my job, right?
Mynx: That's not her only dirty little secret. Heh heh.
Tetsuo: I had no idea it could be done any other way. I had no idea you had to telefrag her to kill her when I did it eithor. I thought that was pretty freakin' weak.
Pappy-R: Once by mistake. The first time, I didn't know what the floating spiked ball was.
The Klesk: [Attempts to eat Pappy-R]

Spyke: Nope.. but before I realized that the little spiked ball had to be inside her, I enjoyed many many deaths in the lava!


If your mind was a Q3A level, which level would it be? (submitted by Nexus Scorpion)

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
The Longest Yard: a little bit of substance in an endless void.
370
20.4%
The Very End of You: a showdown between good and evil, with a pneumatic press thrown in for no apparent reason.
682
37.6%
Fatal Instinct: very foggy and uncertain.
362
19.9%
The Bouncy Map: jumping to conclusions...and missing often.
398
21.9%

Pappy-R: Just one big Hell Fog pit...
Lee'Mon: Mmm... pneumatic presses.
shaithis: My mind is more like an Unreal Tournament map. Creative, focused on function and aesthetics, and full of sniper rifles. HEAD SHOT! EHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
Hellchick: Space Chamber: lots of empty space, with jump pads that look like they'll take me somewhere useful, but in the end only serve to throw me into the void because I air controlled the wrong way.
Mynx: What about having your mind be a Q3A bot? Does that count?
Tetsuo: 'test_bigbox'. It shipped with the game - check it out.
The Klesk: Mind so tall. Fog of death.

Spyke: One with a lot of portals.. I'm warped, you see.


Why? (submitted by Matt Campbell)

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Because.
226
12.4%
Why not?
418
23%
Because Hellchick said so.
399
21.9%
BACON!!!!
772
42.5%

Lee'Mon: It's... BACON!!!
shaithis: Running out of questions, Hellchick? :)
Hellchick: If only you knew the pain, shaithis.
Mynx: Boobies.
Tetsuo: Nice. Bacon. I think the best PQ Poll question I ever saw was How funny would a poll question with only one answer be?. The only available answer was, or course, Very funny.
Pappy-R: Canadian Bacon!
Spyke: Hooray for boobies! Mynx knows how to appease my simple mind.
The Klesk: [Licks self inappropriately]

 


Who are these people anyway?

Hellchick is the PQ Site Director, or at least has convinced her friends that she is.
Pappy-R is PQ's News Jockey and Part-time Table Dancer.
Spyke does the PQ in Review, the PQ Mailbag, and your girlfriend.
Lee'Mon writes articles and editorials for PQ, which means he's really into finding things to complain about.
shaithis is a former PQ Site Director who now spends his days running GameSpy.com and sharpening the spikes on the top of his cubicle. You think we're kidding.
Fragmaster also used to run PQ, and now manages ClassicGaming.com and the console section of the GameSpy network. He also enjoys the occasional potted tuna.
Mynx is our resident advice expert, knowledgeable about all sorts of topics that the rest of us are just too scared to touch.
Tetsuo performs miracles that mere mortals cannot understand as part of the tech team at GameSpy. He also really likes bacon. Even more than Hellchick.
Fargo has been around since the beginning of PQ. He's been known to camp everything, including the poll.

 


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