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    PlanetQuake | The PQ Poll | 05/17/00

The PQ Poll: May 17, 2000
Got poll questions you think we should use? Email them to!

What was your first gaming system? (submitted by subbie)

Answer Votes
Atari 2600 - old school!
Nintendo or Sega - Mario!
SuperNES - no wait, Super Mario!
386 or 486 - it's all about DOOM.
Pentium-class - if it's worth gaming, it's worth gaming well.
Playstation, N64, or Dreamcast - I'm so new I'm still figuring out how to work the controller.

Mynx: Kilroy gave me a TI that hooked up to the TV when I was like 9. My mother was horrified.
Fargo: No Intellivision? You people are uncultured swine.
Lee'Mon: I first played games on the Commodore VIC 20, but I got a Nintendo a year after it came out. I was fascinated with games.... a fascination that remains with me to this day.
Evil Lee'Mon Clone: I grew up on a shoddy 486 and Doom. You always remember your first time... deathmatching.
shaithis: The first gaming system that was really mine (the atari was the family's) was a Leading Edge 8088xt with 512k of ram, no hard drive, a CGA monitor (4 colors) and two 360k floppy drives. YEH BITCH! IT'S ALL ABOUT CHOPLIFTER!
Pappy-R: Two rocks, three sticks and a neighbour kid's head.
Hellchick: I had that console that played one game and one game only: Tank. I think it might have had Pong in it, too, but I can't really remember. Black and white TV and pixels the size of a Volkswagen! YEAH!

Spyke: The first real gaming system i had was an Atari 2600, but the very first system I had was a TRS-80.. screw buying games, my dad wrote all the games I played!

What sort of music should be in the Mission Pack? (submitted by Sir Frags A Lot)

Answer Votes
Rap: The sound of "f*** this" and "f*** that" would be nice.
Techno: It's got a good beat, and you can dance to it.
Pop: I think we call agree how much blind rage Britney Spears instills.
Nothing: The sound of unleashing your full ammo into someone is music enough.
Hellchick: Just let somebody record Hellchick screaming in a drunken rage and throw that in the Arena Eternal with a good band at the back.

Mynx: I dunno about you, but I don't need rap for the sound of "fuck this" and "fuck that"... but I guess that would fall under the "Hellchick" category. :)
Fargo: What about the lilting seductive strains of the OOga-Chaka version of BJ Thomas?
Lee'Mon: Whoa. No metal? Sir Frags A Lot deserves a Boot To The Head(tm) for not including metal as a choice! Few things got my blood flowing during Blast Chamber than rushing through the halls to the sound of "Blitzkrieg" by Metallica.
Evil Lee'Mon Clone: Include the sound of a whiny pre-adolescent brat screaming "j00 sux0r! I pw33n j00!". It'll be good preparation for when voice communication in games hits the market.
shaithis: Why is Hellchick getting all the credit for screaming in a drunken rage, an art which I pioneered?
Pappy-R: Nothing makes me "sashay" with an RL like the Hip. Canadian artist's reference to help select the most elite readers.
Hellchick: Because I will have a Q3A model, and you don't, shai. How can you scream in a drunken rage in a game you don't have a model for?
Spyke: The Hip would r0x0r, but the one true music to Quake to isn't techno.. Industrial, baby! Fragging to Skinny Puppy or Coil would be divine.

What medals in Quake III: Arena do you win the most? (submitted by Paul Drude)

Answer Votes
Excellent - I am the Arena's Angel of Death.
Impressive - I'm l33t with the railgun.
Frags - I have over 10,000 career Quake frags.
Accuracy - Perfection is me.
Gauntlet - I always run out of ammo, but it dosen't slow me down.
Perfect - Xaero is my bitch.
None - I'm still trying to beat Crash.
What's a medal?

Mynx: Boobies.
Fargo: Boobies? IMPRESSIVE!
Lee'Mon: The "But You Were Right In Front Of Me" award for moving so fast I leave an afterimage. (Anime fans will get this one.)
Evil Lee'Mon Clone: The "Burrito" award for spinning around so fast it looks like rockets are coming out of my arse. (Taco Bell frequenters will get this one.)
shaithis: Yeh guys, it's easy to get tons of excellents when you've got the bots turned down to "sweet christ, be gentle, this is my grandmother playing. No, seriously!"
Hellchick: There's a setting like that in the game? L33t.
Pappy-R: The "Fog of Death" award. Live to fall, fall to your death.
Spyke: Excellent, for sure. I'm the king of quick-succession frags.

Which Q3A engine game are you most looking forward to?

Answer Votes
Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force - engage me, baby!
Return to Castle Wolfenstein - nothing can beat a classic!
Alice - so what if it's based on a kid's story...American McGee is a God.
Heavy Metal F.A.K.K. 2 - ohhhh, come to me, Julie Strain...
I don't really know about any of these.

Mynx: Daikatana! Er uh..
Fargo: Actung, baby!
Lee'Mon: Team Arena is looking EXCELLENT. I can't wait to blood-bubble someone from that wonderful ProxLauncher / InvulnerabilitySphere combination.
Evil Lee'Mon Clone: Return to Wolfenstein... nothing like timing the throw of that stick grenade so that when the guard picks it back up, it blows his arm off just as he throws it. (I'm not making this up... ask Mr. Goody Two-Shoes over there.)
shaithis: Alice or FAKK2. Not sure which. Star Trek is supposedly really pretty, but it's Star Trek, and that alone mandates that I must neither buy, nor play it (or even look directly at it, for fear of being blinded by the suck).
Pappy-R: Return to Castle Wolfenstein has got me all a twitter and if it's not done right, the WORLD will hear about it.
Hellchick: It is at this point that I must point a finger at all of you, chant "Neener, neener, neener" in a whiny falsetto voice, and proclaim loudly that I got to play Return to Castle Wolfenstein at E3.

Spyke: Alice! American McGee is God.

In Quake 2, what is the most fearsome foe? (submitted by Haplo)

Answer Votes
Light Guards - they scare me. Incidently, I can't pass unit 1 on easy.
Parasite - they latch on and don't let go, I run when I see them. I also run from cats, dogs, bunnies, ants...
Iron Maiden - like my ex, but with a rocket launcher. I avoid both.
Tank Commander - they just keep coming back for more...
Barracuda Shark - I was a water baby untill I met them. Now I'm afraid of water (both in Quake and in real life).
The Strogg Markon - Fearsome? I pumped him full of Quaded rails and then ate his BFG.

Mynx: Hellchick.
Fargo: Dammit those stupid doggie things ... every time I went to grab a shotgun one of the jerks was humping my leg.
Lee'Mon: I once took on the Makron on Nightmare with just a blaster. It took between half an hour and a full hour.
Evil Lee'Mon Clone: Those damn Parasites. Latching on to me with their tongue... well, at least, I HOPE it's their tongue... ew...
shaithis: Wow... I can barely even remember Quake2. That's kind of depressing.
Pappy-R: /me points and laughs at Fargo and his horny critter.
Hellchick: Those stupid dog-like parasite thingies. They scared the piss out of me every time they lept out at me from the darkness. Needless to say, I needed to buy a new gaming chair.
Spyke: Those dumb floating head things. They're not scary, and not tough, just they come out of nowhere! [looks behind him, paranoid]

Who is the best poll commentator? (submitted by Jack D)

Answer Votes
Hellchick, because she's just that l33t. I get money for this, right?
Lee'Mon, the writer of all things that make us angry.
Spyke, although he doesn't say "STFU" enough.
Mynx, because we're hoping with every comment that she'll say the word "boobies".
Tetsuo. Bring on the bacon, bitches!
Fargo. He's got his own planet.
Fragmaster...and furthermore, hello.
shaithis. It's all those Excessive references.
They all suck goat balls, if you ask me.

Mynx: I knew it. I KNEW IT. Fargo is a chick!!
Fargo: I would make a witty remark here, but clearly my mouth is stuffed with goat balls.
(Hang on ... I think I just really grossed myself out.)
Lee'Mon: One more vote than Spyke... that's all I need.
Evil Lee'Mon Clone: Yes, they all DO suck goat balls. Next time, vote for the Evil Lee'Mon Clone, master of the poll comments and future ruler of the galaxy! MWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!
shaithis: I haven't talked about Excessive in some time. And further, you're all a bunch of WHORES, selling out the highest bidder! *shaithis runs off weeping*
Pappy-R: Hmmm...shall I rant now or later for not even being on the damned list. Rule #1: Don't rail Hellchick right before she does the poll questions.
Hellchick: Wow, I came in...uhh, second. I guess my new slogan will have to be "Hellchick: she's not as bad as goat balls!"

Spyke: Why must people latch onto one catchphrase and force me to repeat it forever? You must all shut the f*ck up!


Who are these people anyway?

Hellchick is the PQ Site Director, or at least has convinced her friends that she is.
Pappy-R is PQ's News Jockey and Part-time Table Dancer.
Spyke does the PQ in Review, the PQ Mailbag, and your girlfriend.
Lee'Mon writes articles and editorials for PQ, which means he's really into finding things to complain about.
shaithis is a former PQ Site Director who now spends his days running and sharpening the spikes on the top of his cubicle. You think we're kidding.
Fragmaster also used to run PQ, and now manages and the console section of the GameSpy network. He also enjoys the occasional potted tuna.
Mynx is our resident advice expert, knowledgeable about all sorts of topics that the rest of us are just too scared to touch.
Tetsuo performs miracles that mere mortals cannot understand as part of the tech team at GameSpy. He also really likes bacon. Even more than Hellchick.
Fargo has been around since the beginning of PQ. He's been known to camp everything, including the poll.


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