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    PQ | Features| PQ Poll | July 1, 1999
   

Week of July 1st, 1999

Poll Results Outputted

What do you do when you die in quake?

AnswerVotes
Percentage
 
Think nothing of it and keep on fragging.
1941
51.7%
Get extremely pissed off and start cussing at your cat.
280
7.4%
Blame it on the lag.
319
8.5%
Blame it on LPBs.
146
3.8%
Blame it on your computer.
102
2.7%
Blame it on Ricki Lake.
207
5.5%
Dude, I don't die in Quake!
753
20%

Mix: I blame it on Lowtax.
Lowtax: I make baby Jesus cry.
Mad Dipper: Can you say... hunted?
shaithis: "Tataglia is a pimp. He never could've outfought Santino."
Moltar: It really bends my wookie when I die.
pharcyde: I laugh cause it's useually a luck shot ;-)
Dakkon: I Blame it on the Rain.
Midnight: Bitch and moan that he's using a bot...
Fargo: Bad kitty! Kitty you SUCK!!
Knower: Well, I mostly play Rocket Arena 2, so I wait until my team gets retribution and then I get to play again...0wn3d!
Cobby: Pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again - hrmmmm sounds like a song.
Buckshot: I take off an article of clothing. As fraglimit get hit, I'm all naked.
Tetsuo: I spastically press both mouse buttons multiple times until I respawn - DUH!
Br34d2th: I punch the hell out of Tetsuo.
bullet: Blame it on lag.
Darx: I %@%$#! then %^@$%#^! after that!
Sluggo: It's always Fargo's fault. He keeps playing that damned RPGPlanet movie to distract me. :-)
Pikachu: Pi!
Jeff K.: D00d

Have you ever submitted a question for "Dear Mynx"?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Yep... Every week. I'm the obligatory Butt Guy.
48
1.2%
Yeah... A couple of times when I didn't know why my winky was itching.
77
2%
Well...I did once, but don't tell anyone, ok?
159
4.2%
I did, but she said it was "just too gross".
84
2.2%
I thought about it, but then I remembered that only freaks submit questions to her.
2478
66.4%
Nope. I'm 100% normal, dammit!
255
6.8%
I would if I could figure out this freaking "mouse."
626
16.7%
Uhhh... Who is Mynx?
2
0%

Mix: The fact that less people answered "Who is Mynx?" than those that usually answer "What is Quake?" is very telling...
shaithis: "You spend time with your family?" "Sure I do" "Good. Because a man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man."
Moltar: I bent my wookie, Mynx helped me.
pharcyde: No.
Dakkon: Yes. Why is my "Baker" swollen?
Midnight: Who?
Lowtax: The smell of paint fumes, gasoline, and burning trash make me horny. Mynx accepts me for who I am.
Fargo: Hell, I sent in an embarrassment spotlight. The infamous ass-rape.
Knower: I don't submit, period.
Cobby: My counselor advised me not to ;-)
Buckshot: Yeah, John Romero cracks me up.
Tetsuo: Ya, and she said, "Sure - meet me at the Motel 6!"
Br34d2th: Isn't Mynx really Bastard dressed in drag?
bullet: Nope.
Darx: Yeh, it was about my bonzia tree. She never posted it.
Sluggo: Well, there was that time I met the CrackWhore in person...
Pikachu: Pika pika.
Jeff K.: haX0r3d

How funny would a question with only one choice be on the poll?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Very funny.
3159
99.99999%

Mix: Umm... I feel like I'm on Laugh-In for some reason.
Mad Dipper: That's just too crazy for me....
shaithis: "I like to drink wine more than I used to... Anyway, I'm drinking more."
Moltar: Very funny things remind me of my bent wookie... and then I start to cry. (begins weeping)
pharcyde: LoL - thats some funny shiznit.
Midnight: Sweeeeeeeeeat!
Fargo: Dude, I laughed out loud. Hey Lowtax, hand me my paper bag and some more glue!
Knower: About as funny as Internut petting a cat's butt.
Cobby: teehee!
Buckshot: Hey everybody! I'm naked!
Tetsuo: About as funny as a spider with one leg left - pretty damn funny!
Br34d2th: Can you get me a beer?
bullet: Very funny!
Darx: Is that a trick question?
Sluggo: What was the question?
Lowtax: Where am I?
Pikachu: Pik - a - Chu
Jeff K.: CAMPARS!!!##$%%@

Do you currently play with mouse acceleration on?

AnswerVotes
Percentage
 
The faster I flick my wrist, the faster I'll rail yo butt.
764
20.4%
I play with slight mouse acceleration turned on.
584
15.6%
Consistency bizsnatch, no acceleration for me.
1094
29.3%
Mouse acceleration? Is that some sort of H4><0r1nG trick?
877
23.5%
My keyboard skillz will own any of your mouse settings!
254
6.8%
I use a trackball with my Magic Thumb(TM).
157
4.2%

Mad Dipper: Aaaw yeah accelerate... Baby!
shaithis: "How did things ever get so far? I dunno..."
Moltar: That's what caused my wookie to get bent.
pharcyde: The hell is mouse acceleration?
Dakkon: Please explain how you can accelerate a mouse!!!!
Midnight: Its all about the Panther XL ... Owned, Thx!
Fargo: Acceleration only confuses me, much like afternoon talk shows.
Knower: It doesn't really matter (read: I have no clue), because I'll still have Pak9!
Cobby: None for me thanks - move along!
Buckshot: No. My Manos: Hand of Fate needs no tweaking.
Torgo: Bwaaaah, the Master wants to see you...
Tetsuo: I do my mouse acceleration manually...
bullet: What is mouse accleration?
Darx: My mouse accel is on in Windows if it carries over I don't seem to notice.
Sluggo: Magic Thumb, baby!
Pikachu: Pika?
Jeff K.: Chu? SKREW CHU!!!

Which do you hate more in CTF?

AnswerVotes
Percentage
 
Someone who takes all the ammo.
288
7.7%
Someone that's a QUAD WHORE!
372
10%
The llama who calls everyone a BOT cause he SUCKS!
796
21.4%
The llama that actually uses the BOT.
452
12.1%
LPBs... they got the sweet life :(
498
13.3%
Those spider people that grapple from cliff to cliff.
372
10%
It's ALL good... what comes around goes around.
697
18.7%
I'm still trying to figure out what CTF is!
243
6.5%

Mix: Why was there no option for 'teammates who get in your way when you're trying to cap the flag'?
Mad Dipper: I hate those, what do you call them? Oh yeah, CTF players!
shaithis: "Look how they massacred my boy..."
Moltar: I hate it when someone steals the "straigten your wookie" rune just before I get it.
pharcyde: Stupid teams... 9 on offense 1 in defense - WTF?!?!?
Dakkon: The "C" part.
Midnight: Erm, people still play this?
Fargo: +campbot
Knower: Bot users... totally lame.
Cobby: I'm not a "team" game player - I'm a lone hunter killer!
Buckshot: When Centurion starts bobbing is head around his monitor to dodge faster while cursing at his teammates (who obviously can't hear him).
Tetsuo: I hate people who yell at you for doing something not it THEIR little plan, but they failed to COMMUNICATE it to, basically indicating that my powers of ESP are not up to snuff. Grrrrrr!
Br34d2th: I hate it when my "Beer Girl" doesn't hear my shouting for another god damn beer
bullet: bot
Lowtax: I've heard of this "CTF" and I'm very much interested. Please sign me up for your weekly newsletter.
Darx: The guy on my team who runs down the hall passing me as I'm running with the flag to base.
Sluggo: There's nothing worse than people who consistently join the winning team in an already lopsided game.
Pikachu: Pi Pi Pi Pika pi chu Pi Ka Chu Pika Pi PI!
Jeff K.: Pika?!?! WTF???? IS THAT AOL?

Which element of Doom would you most want retained in a Doom2000?

AnswerVotes
Percentage
 
The super-fast gameplay.
825
21.4%
The thousands of enemies.
968
25.1%
The gigantic levels.
290
7.5%
The weapon balance.
191
4.9%
The pixels that were the size of watermelons.
408
10.6%
Just make a Doom2000 using the Doom engine, dammit!
206
5.3%
I'd rather see a Quake 4 next!
464
12%
Was that the ugly old game with no mouselook?
494
12.8%

Mix: Do we really need a Doom 2000?
Mad Dipper: Umm Doom? Never played it...
Lowtax: Come on, you cretins! It's a classic!
shaithis: "If you had come to me in friendship, then the scum that ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day. And if, by chance, an honest man such as yourself made enemies, then they would become my enemies... and then they would fear you."
Moltar: Hey... this question has nothing to do with wookies!
pharcyde: Gonna have to go with the thousand of watermelon sized enemies... huh?
Dakkon: The name.
Fargo: Midi music!
Knower: I don't even remember what Doom looks like. Is it like watching Cencheerio dance? sick.
Cobby: Quake 4? /me drools
Buckshot: I liked the part where you blew up the guy with the flaming sombrero, and he started throwing rubber chickens. That was a funny part.
Tetsuo: One word - Cacodemon.
Br34d2th: I would want to retain my relentless slaughter of Tetsuo skills.
bullet: The name
Darx: Doom?
Sluggo: What I really want to see: end boss: Dr. Doom.
Pikachu: Pika Pika Pi Pi ka Chu Pi Pika PikaChu! (Pikachu haX0rs Jeff K.)
Jeff K.: PIKA PIKA PIKA!!! d000000000d


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