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Week In
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    PQ | Features| PQ Poll | November 24, 1999
   

Week of November 24th, 1999

Poll Results Outputted

When falling in the lava in Q3Test1, what death message would you rather see?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
(Name) does triple-axel backflip with twist into the lava.
699
20.6%
(Name) eats molten magma sandwich.
546
16%
(Name) is a llama for stepping into the hot stuff.
575
16.9%
Some vague reference to Fargo's pants.
592
17.4%
I'm too l33t to fall into the lava.
977
28.8%

Fragmaster: The last time Fargo's pants got hot, he was looking at a picture of Al Gore playing an harpsichord.
Fargo: My favorite lava editorial was on PlanetWank. Hysterical stuff.
radium: Hmm... you fell in the lava and now you are dead.
Pappy-R: Lava Lovin' makes me sweat
pharcyde: Stupid.
Hellchick: I'd like to hear Chef sing to me about Hot Lava. But only if I can be one of his background singers.
shaithis: shaithis suffered the falling and the burning and the hurting!

Which was the coolest weapon?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Da Rail. Period.
1250
36.6%
Half-Life's Crossbow.
320
9.3%
The Original BFG.
341
10%
The Lightning Gun.
243
7.1%
Wolfenstein's Chaingun.
222
6.5%
Counterstrike's AWP.
190
5.5%
The Quake Axe. Where the hell did it go?
843
24.7%

Fragmaster: The free 72 ounce drink cup I got at Del Taco.
Fargo: [Leaping into the air screaming:] Put da rail! PUT DA RAIL!!!
radium: The Quake2 super shotgun rocked.
Pappy-R: The whole list is limp compared to the DooM chinsaw.
pharcyde: 8 Ball.
Hellchick: The coolest weapon I've ever seen are the laughing, smiley-faced proximity grenades from the ChaosDM mod.
shaithis: I kinda like that thing in Opposing Force where you feed the creature thing those plant spore thingies. You know? That thing...

What game features/adjustments to the physics of Quake 3 do you think should be put back from previous Quake games?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Hand grenades; for when you have the ammo, but no grenade launcher.
758
22.4%
The ability to sneak up to someone/something with the shotgun, then crouch, arc up to aim for their upper body, and launch them into the air. It was SO much fun shooting people 5-10 feet into the air!!! Whee!
896
26.5%
Perform a ducking jump to get on top of those just-a-bit-too-tall objects (wait a minute?! That's in Half-Life!!!).
266
7.8%
Extend the range of the Gauntlet's punch. As it is, it seems you need to have sex with the person before actually throwing the punch.
640
18.9%
Hey, that wasn't in Q2, but...
109
3.2%
The ability to 0wnz3r Fargo. Oh wait, that's still there.
270
8%
What the HELL are you talking about?!?!! Quake 3 is perfect the way it is!!! Now quit yer pissin' and moanin'!!!
435
12.8%

Fragmaster: The ability to vomit and watch the chunks float away like a fluffy cloud.
Fargo: I really miss the airbourne shotgun rangers. I used to habitually duck and air up before firing the shotgun. It made me happy.
radium: Quake 3 is... ahh, no comment.
Pappy-R: Being able to throw someone with the Super Shotty in Q2 rocked!
pharcyde: PAPER CUT!!
Hellchick: The shotgun thing. There's nothing more satisfying than hearing the wet smack of someone hitting a wall after you've done that.
shaithis: I always liked the ability to launch people into the air with the rocket launcher. It's what made HIPDM1 so damn much fun.

You beat John Carmack in a game of Q3:A. What happens?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
He gives you his Ferrari.
151
4.4%
He gives you an autographed copy of Q3:A in the tin box.
279
8.2%
He gives you his Ferrari and and an autographed copy of Q3:A in the tin box.
1021
30%
He publicly states that you owned him at the very game he coded.
1018
29.9%
C'mon, admit it - you'll never beat John Carmack at Q3:A.
930
27.3%

Fragmaster: I wake up and realize it was just a dream, as I have the hand-eye coordination of a small pasta dish.
Fargo: After I beat John Carmack, I'd probably give him keys to my Ferrari in sympathy. (Hey, so long as we're talking out our ass, might as well go big...)
radium: What happens? Oh, probably nothing.
Pappy-R: all of the above and John has to take my first wife on a date. OwneD!
pharcyde: He hiers a hit man to off you, thus never haning to admit defeat! The truth is out there.
Hellchick: He drives me around in his Ferrari and proclaims me O Goddess of All That Is Quake To Whom I Tremble Before In Ph34r.
shaithis: John Carmack's fairly easy to beat, actually, from what I understand. He spends too much time coding to be a godlike player.

Which other multiplayer game do you play most besides Quake?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Half-Life
963
28.3%
Unreal Tournament
865
25.5%
Blood
36
1%
Starcraft
374
11%
Asheron's Call
63
1.8%
Heretic II
44
1.2%
There are other games??
1046
30.8%

Fragmaster: Half-Life or UT (been a lot of UT lately). And also MS Hearts.
Fargo: Unreal Tournament and Asheron's Call suck away my non-Quake time.
radium: UT is extremely cool... flak cannon owns.
Pappy-R: AvP! I can't help myself.
pharcyde: Gasp, I thought UT was it....oh wait.
Hellchick: Everquest! EEEEVEEEEERQUEEEEST!
shaithis: Unreal Tourney and Asheron's Call have completely replaced Quake for me. Now I shall duck as hundreds of PQ readers throw shit at me.

What kind of taunt would you like to see the bots use in Q3:A?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
The Sarge, chewing on his stogie, saying, "Do you feel lucky...punk?"
524
15.3%
Jule's "I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?"
442
12.9%
Something from Monty Python ("Silly English-type Quuuuuuuuakers!")
702
20.6%
Visor yelling out "LPB L4M3R"
275
8%
The bots calling you a bot.
1460
42.9%

Fragmaster: They should have one saying "HELLO WHERE CAN I GET WAR3ZED PHOTOSHOP FOR MY CLAN SITE CALLED DA LEET MEN?!?!"
Fargo: [Camera pans dramatically across the visor's face.] "Fargo ..... I'm your father." [Cut to Fargo:] "NOOOOoooooOooooOOO!"
radium: I always wanted a Boss Hog model that says "I'll geeet yooou".
Pappy-R: Sarge "flicks" dat stogie stub into your face.
pharcyde: "I fart in your general direction!" - followed by them grabing your head and jumping up, doing a 180 and....never mind.
Hellchick: I'd like to see them do the Billy Jack thing: "I can kick you here (points to right side of head) with this leg (points to left leg)."
shaithis: I am deeply, deeply ashamed that 701 people picked the Monty Python answer.

What real-world landmark would be a kick-ass Quake map to frag on?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
The Taj Mahal, India
513
15%
Tianamen Square, China
277
8.1%
The Kremlin, Russia
419
12.2%
Vatican City, Italy
632
18.5%
Somewhere in Jersey
366
10.7%
Fargo's office
171
5%
Hellchick's closet
1029
30.2%

Fragmaster: Who's gonna make the "Hellchick is already out of the closet!" joke? I'm betting on Fargo. And my choice would be the Pacific Ocean.
Fargo: You're in luck! HellChick's closet IS in the Vatican!
radium: Oh hell, I dont know.
Pappy-R: since I believe Hellchicks closet contains a "time rip", I think just the Burger King down the road will do.
pharcyde: Fragmaster's bathroom of love.
Hellchick: I'd make the "out of the closet" joke to make Frags happy since Fargo didn't do it, but it wouldn't be as funny. Oh, and my closet does contain a rip in the space time continuum, depositing you somewhere in Cleveland. That's where all my left socks are.
shaithis: Jersey is much too dangerous to be a deathmatch level.


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