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by PQ Staff
How many n00bs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [submitted by PQ]
|1: I'm only pretending to be a newbie so people will find my skill level impressive.|
|2: Need a backup incase one lags or gets connection interrupted.|
|3: One to write the rocket jump script, one to RJ to the bulb and one to clean his gibs.|
|4: One to change the bulb, one to demo it, one to shoutcast it and one to write the news that the bulb has been changed.|
|5: One to change the bulb and four to tell him how l33t he is.|
Pappy-R: Let's see. One to ask where to get the bulb, one to go get the bulb, one to ask twelve other people how to install it and one more to write the flame letter complaining that the lightbulb is just a lightbulb.
Jube: I resent that question. I can change a lightbulb all by myself, I'm just too lazy to do it!
Hellchick: one to shoot at the bulb with the rocket launcher repeatedly, one to tell the bulb-installer that he's cheating, one to jump like a monkey on top of the bulb-installer, and one to team-kill the bulb-installer and everyone in the room.
a madman: I think Hellchick pretty much nailed it.
Mr. Lake: See? Look at that, I can screw in a lightbulb just fine...*PZZAPFT!*
Which game console do you prefer? [submitted by TheHappyFriar]
|X-Box. I let Bill Gates in on EVERY part of my life (I'm beta-testing girl-friend .54)|
|PS2. I got hooked by IBM with the name, not by Sorny! :)|
|Gamecube. I'm like Nintendo: Games my entire life!|
|Gameboy: I'm a portable gaming freek!|
|None, consoles suck! They can't do networking! No 64 players! Can't play DOOM 3 (yet)!!|
Pappy-R: The one with the keyboard, mouse, phat internet connection, upgradable parts, cutting edge video and the ability to do more than just games. But you already knew that.
a madman: Uh... Super Nintendo? Nobody gives their consoles cool or inexplicable adjectives anymore. Genesis? Dreamcast? Now it's all boring. The XBox? A box with a big X on it. The Gamecube... is a cube. That plays games. *yawn*
Jube: I don't own any of them, but if I did buy one then it'd probably be a GameCube. I dig fluffy games and Yoshi owns all.
Hellchick: Pfft, forgot those. It's the GameBoy Advance all the way, bay-BEE! Does that count as a console? I guess not...
Mr. Lake: I love my pixel-shaded, bump-mapped, trilinear-filtered Dead or Alive games...pass me a pillow.
What do you look for in an "unconventional" mod? [submitted by JGH]
|Wacky weapons! Want realism? Go play CS or America's Army. I wanna feed MY desert eagle meat scraps, saddle her, take off like a rocket then bring home a hellcow for dinner!|
|Off the wall physics and/or gravity. What goes up must .... redefine degrees of freedom.|
|Strategy! Loot BEFORE pillage, cut off supply lines, manage resources .... nothing requiring a degree in political science (but it helps!)|
|Objectives! Sure they nearly wiped out my entire squad BUT we DID manage to take out their generator/interstellar-gate/popcorn-maker.|
|It's all in the set design .... I want to immerse myself in Futuristic-Earth/Medieval-Europe/Old-West etc.|
|BOObies, what else is there?|
|All of the above, emphasis on that last one!|
Pappy-R: I'm really gonna have to go with the last choice, "All of the above", except the boobies. Cleavage games tend to be bad games, and that's just wrong.
a madman: Chainsaws. And rideable lawnmowers. I'm looking for a robust yard-maintenance sim.
Jube: I don't think I look for anything in particular. If the game play is fun and there's lots of purty colours then I'm good to go. One mod that looks rather "unconventional" and very cool is Midget Wars. Unfortunately I'm a llama and still haven't gotten around to trying it.
Hellchick: I look for monkeys. Or chickens. Monkeys preferrably as they're funnier than chickens, but when you're out of monkeys you go to the next best thing, you know?
Mr. Lake: I like a mod that makes you feel like a better person after playing it, in a
Mad Max of Thunderdome kind of way.
Which person are you at the LAN party? [submitted by PQ]
|The one shaking from too much caffeine and sugar.|
|The one who doesn't sleep for 3 days.|
|The competitive one swearing and banging hardware around.|
|The smelly one who hasn't bathed in 3 days.|
|The one who downloads and shares porn.|
|The gassy one laughing at their own bodily noises.|
Pappy-R: I'm the guy who get 10 minutes of game time in, but I'm also the guy who gets to give stuff away, so it all works out.
a madman: "2 hours of sleep a night is plenty."
Jube: I haven't really seen much LAN action, but I'd like to think I'd be the drunk who's shaking from too much caffeine and sharing porn.
Hellchick: I'm the one who sits there thinking, "Jesus...what day is it?"
Mr. Lake: I'm usually the guy sharing porn of girls shaking because they haven't slept in 3 days because they've been fed too much caffene and sugar, and are persued by drunk smelly men who are laughing at their own bodily noises while competitively arguing over who will grab the girls first.
Which war type scenario makes for the best mod or game? [submitted by PQ]
|World War I|
|World War II|
|World War III (Star Wars? Robot Wars?)|
|The Gulf War|
|Urban Gang Wars|
|War of 1812 (Let's Invade Canada!!)|
Pappy-R: I like futuristc themes, even if it's only slightly ahead on the old
a madman: The Peloponnesian War, of course. Bronze-age bloodshed!
Jube: Yay, let's invade Canada! Hey now, wait a minute! I think I'll go with Urban Gang Wars, although WWIII and Vietnam would be up there as well.
Hellchick: Is there ever really a bad time to invade Canada?
Mr. Lake: Ah, remember the good 'ol days of the Whip Cream wars?
During a blackout what would you do in place of Quake? [submitted by PQ]
|Read or Study.|
|Get some fresh air?|
|Play on laptop until the battery runs down.|
|Talk on the phone.|
|Make shadow puppets.|
|Write flowery poetry.|
Pappy-R: From my experience this summer, the correct answer here is to play on the laptop until the battery dies, then find a relative who still has power and invade!
a madman: Cribbage and/or liquor.
Jube:Fortunately I was out of town for the recent East coast power failure, I know I would have gone absolutely bonkers (like Pappy did :D). I guess I'd be forced to read, perhaps with a little phone yacking tossed in for variety.
Hellchick: Find a way to port Quake over to my cellphone.
Mr. Lake: Sex. It's dark and no one can see you...not that I've tried.
Pappy-R is the PlanetQuake Site Director and ensures that all the coolness on PQ that happens, happens.
Who are these people, anyway?
a madman is the official PQ Content Manager, and when he's not doing that he's insulting people in the Mailbag. It's a good job.
Jube runs the morning shift around here, and posts more news before 9 am than most people do all day.
Hellchick gave up a promising career in the exciting field of astrophysics to make a job out of playing Quake.
Mr. Lake is the creative director over at Lake's Digital Arts. We keep him in a cage and poke him with sticks until he makes maps. Then we poke him again.