PQ in Review
Spyke recaps last week and all the things you may have missed!
PQ In Review: Boo!
Did I scare you? I didn't? Damn. Whipping you up into a fervor every week, and I'm
back again with the tenth weekly installment of PQ In Review! That's right, boys and girls,
I've been doing this for two and a half months, and they still haven't let me out of the
basement. It's okay though, my eyes have adjusted, and I'm starting to develop wings. Other
than that, PQ's been kinda quiet, as our fearless leader went.. well.. home. Let's get it
on, with the reviewing!
Hey, there's news this week! Whaddya know.. This week, our Model of the Week wasn't just
one, it was ten! LadyICE worked up and let go
The Top 10 Scariest Models for Quake 2, and is it a doozy. I won't give it away, but I still have
nightmares about number one. Our Mod of the Week was Awakening
Quake 2, where the player gets a bunch of funky weapons, including a syringe (!), and gets to kill others
with them! Of course, we (as we do every week, do I have to tell you again?) have the
Levels of the Week for both Quake 1 and Quake 2. Even though it was late, the
Poll still made an appearance, asking "paper, or plastic?" Your favorite venting forum (except for that Penthouse one),
the mailbag made an appearance, and intelligent readers like
you told us your viewpoints on the stuff that's happened here in the past while.. smartasses. Our own resident news pimp (and
frequent pimp of PQ In Review) Pappy-R conducted a, shall we say, interesting
interview with Painberry and Captain Torso from Leper Quake 2. And, finally, our resident advice columnist Mynx was featured
twice around the GameSpy Network this week; since Mynx isn't up to putting together a new Dear Mynx, we treated you to a
Mynx Flashback from earlier on in the year, and Mynx and Ion
Storm hottie KillCreek, along with, um, Fargo.. were interviewed by Hellchick, regarding boobs
Um.. dammit Lowtax, where the hell's that model pack? Other than that, if it finally
manifests itself, expect your usual mailbag, poll, Levels of the Week, Mod of the Week (Leper Quake 2!), and
of course, PQ In Review! Oh yes, I've been told I can let all of you know that
PlanetNerfArenaBlast is in the works, a Q3A bus tour wrapup will be posted, along with (possibly)
a John Carmack interview, and we're negotiating with John Romero to see if he can
bring all you filthy, unhygenic wretches some weekly beauty tips.
Question of the Damned
This week, we get inside our slaves' minds (yeah, as if they have minds), when we ask the
question, "What are the voices in your head usually saying?"
The voices in my head command me to create more words like the underutilized
"pw33n3d", for the purpose of annoying Lowtax. They also tell me that my Dr. Evil impression is
really good, and I should do it more often.
They tell me that top ten lists are the most efficient style of writing possible,
and take up the most space without doing any real work. They also tell me to reveal no more, or they'll
Mine say to eat sloppy, and that doing no work is the preferred way of advancing in
your chosen occupation. I've asked to see their credentials, but every time I do they make me black out, and
I wake up naked in a dumpster somewhere.
Mine are usually saying "Must dance... must dance." I've been known to bust
quite a move in my time and my voices want me to keep up the dancing mayhem
I create when I break onto the dance floor. Oh yeah, the voices tell me to
kill Kathy Lee Gifford too.
The majority of the time, they're just calling my name, over and over, while I sleep.
Oh yeah, what makes it worse is that they're the voices of my friends, taunting me, and taunting me, until
I finally snap. Then they tell me to go back to the padded room for a while.
Spyke's Profound Thought
Hellchick is on holiday this week, so there will be no profound thought. You didn't
really think I was smart enough to come up with that stuff on my own, did you? That's right.
Anyways, a lot of people have a lot of opinions on who should do the soundtrack for Q3A. I
don't want to get into a giant musical debate, so I'll sum it up with the phrase "I don't
listen to the music anyways". Actually, I do, but just remember the stuff in quotes back there.
What stuff? Good. Here's a question for you to answer: What color would you like to see more
of in Q3A? Mine would be blue. I like blue levels. They're a lot of fun.
Don't click here, whatever you do.