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    PlanetQuake | Articles | Quakescopes: Desktop Readings
   

Desktop Readings for March 31 - April 6, 2003
The mystical powers never stop!
— by Jube


 - click for full size image
Screw the desktop, show us them fly gitchers!

Profile for codelock: All decked out Mega Man style. You've obviously spent a bit of time working on your desktop to get it the way you like it. Taking the time to black out icon text, being a little different by having your taskbar on the left. Normally I'd say that this shows you are unique individual who will be going places... but there's the whole Mega Man stigma happening. So instead of seeing you as someone with a bright future, I see you as someone who drinks warm milk before they go to bed in their spiffy Mega Men underoos. You will wake up tomorrow in an alternate universe after a wormhole opens up right over your bed. You would of course be none the wiser had I not just alerted you to the fact, but I felt you had a right to know. I recommend a little Vitamin E for that patch of dry skin you've been scratching at lately. Good fortune will come to you if you shave your head bald. Have the salad instead of the soup. Beware of microwaved foods this week. You will spill or drop something today. The thought of cow tipping makes you giggle. You have an untapped talent for holding your breath and making weird noises with your armpits. Your lucky number this week is 21. On the fragging front this week, don't even bother. The crystal ball is waving a gigantic "SUCK" banner. Oh look, now it's sky writing the word "SUCK". Yup, not good at all.



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Don't make a mistake, cover your snake.

Profile for Shark: Not only do we have an Angelina background, but a whole folder dedicated to the lovely Jolie. Should she be concerned? Interesting file system... "stuff", "good stuff", "goooddd", obviously not a very imaginative person, are you? ;) WT... "female reproducti..." My goodness, someone seems to be in need of a little talk about the birds and the bees. Can't have you learning this stuff on the internet, now can we? Let me tell ya 'bout the birds and the bees, and the flowers and the trees, and the moon up above, and a thing called "Love". It's all about boobies. Just remember... if you think she's spunky, cover your monkey. When in doubt, shroud your sprout. Don't be a fool, Vulcanize your tool. If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket. Oh yeah... and masturbation will make you go blind. That should pretty much cover our little birds 'n bees chat. Hmm then again, you seem to have some sort of "crayfish" obsession, which is rather... WEIRD. Perhaps I should have given you the bizarre fetish chat instead. Ah well, maybe next time. A large mutated bug will attempt to eat you at some point over the coming years. Victory in the battle will be yours. Over indulgence in caffeinated and carbonated beverages will give you heart burn this week. You have a talent for working with power tools. Your lucky number this week is 57. Wear something pink this week for good luck. On the fragging front you've got it goin' on! Unfortunately your connection will die and you won't be able to play.



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Why me?

Profile for Hobbsy: Hobberz back for round two. Couldn't get enough huh? ;) Yeah, I seem to have that affect on people. Always wanting MORE, MORE, MORE. Pushing me about like I'm their personal bitch, walking all over me, do this, do that, blah blah blah. Right. Your desktop. ;) Well let's see what we've got happening here. Not a bad background. At first quick glance I actually thought it was a real person... then I spotted what appears to be some ANIME peeking out. Gah!! /me spits. You seem to be full of questions. "Why do my...", "Why do we..." Why, why, why? Are you really that confused? I just gave the dude above a nice little chat about the birds and the bees... and I feel that I'm pretty much qualified to answer your questions in any area of life... because well, I have a crystal ball 'n stuff. That qualifies me, right? Anyway, just call and I'll be there... maybe. Someone has been having extremely naughty sexual fantasies about you lately. You will get a slight headache some time today. Use a towel to dry off after your shower. You have absolutely no athletic abilities, stick to computers. Your lucky number this week is 34. A giant mouse will steal your cheese. On the fragging front... better sit the week out. You'll be stinking more stink than stink knows how to stink.



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Faking out the crystal ball.

Profile for LSA: Howdy LSA. You're getting pretty sneaky. No porn folders, no text files containing death threats, no weird crap in general for me to criticize! Or maybe you're just very neat and organized. Yeah that's it, that's my big psychic prediction of the day. LSA is neat and organized. ;) Although it does appear that you're advertising for Kazaa Lite, with the icon mixed in with the games there and the web browser open to their site. :o Anyway, once again, someone trying to make me use the old noggin' rather than leaving their life on their desktop for the world to see. S'ok, the old noggin' could use a workout every now and again I suppose. A potted plant in your home is having evil thoughts about you. It really doesn't like you at all. You should be kinder to plants. Someone wearing dark sunglasses will be checking you out this week. Be sure to shake that groove thang! A neighbor or passerby will get a look at your "goods" through an open window this month if you're not careful about changing in front of said open window. Your lucky number this week is 12. On the fragging front... this is your week to clean house! Literally. You'll suck so bad that you may as well just give up and clean the house.




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