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    PlanetQuake | Articles | Quakescopes: Desktop Readings
   

Desktop Readings for October 13 - October 19, 2003
The mystical powers never stop!
— by Jube


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Anime Bashing

Profile for Dudeman: Dude, where's my car? Heh, get it? Welcome to the desktop readings mister first-timer. You've made your debut sporting a teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini. Minus the polka dots of course. This week's desktop readings are part of an evil experiment. I'm over at Pappy-R's place, so we're going to do them sort of jointly. Which means you get a little sugar (me, of course) and a whole lotta spice (that'd be Pappy I guess). Okay, in your email you said that you had kept your first submission simple, but that you felt we should "dig a little deeper". That was a come-on right? Of course it was. I'd be down with some of that action, except that your desktop has completely put me off. Come onnnnnn, anime? Gross. Cowboy Bepop? What are you 12? Hmm, I guess I should know the answer to that since I'm the psychic one. ;) Anyway, cartoon PORN should be illegal. Go out and rent yourself some Debbie Does PlanetQuake or something. That's all I've got to say on the subject. Okay, let's get to the meat 'n potatoes now.

Jube's Predictions: Beware of bathtubs this month. The crystal ball informs me that you are destined to fall asleep in one and wake up with gills, thus be doomed to spend the rest of your life in the tub. This of course means that you will no longer be able to download anime pr0n for fear or electrocution. By the way, I was just kidding about your desktop putting me off, I'm easy, we'll talk. Your lucky number this week is 10 and you'll frag best during the full moon.

Pappy-R's Predictions: Deeper? You said you want who to dig deeper? Me, kool! My prediction is dirt, lotsa dirt so lay down, and your lucky meat is mock chicken by the way just incase your mother asks.



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Oh So Meaty

Profile for irby: firbyyyyy! You haven't given us a whole lot to work with today. But as a little treat, in replace of the infamous crystal ball, Pappy is here to give a little extra insight into your future. Yes, strap yourself in and prepare for some serious enlightenment. ;) I think I shall give you this week's best desktop award. And not just because you are teacher's pet either, but because you put out. You do, we know it. Anyway, can't give the award to anime guy above you, anime sook like PQ IRC when the firby be gone. Okay, let's get down to it then.

Jube's Predictions: Don't ask what a "nimnol" is. This month sees you dressing up in women's clothing. No different from any other month of course, but at least in October you can blame it on Halloween. Your lucky number this week is 14 and your best day to let loose some frags will be July 12, 2005.

Pappy-R's Predictions: Irby...buddy! I have seen your future, and it is brown. Not that bad, smelly, nasty brown either. You will be visited by three beers. Expect the first whenever you go get some, and expect the last right before you're done. Your lucky meat is veal cutlettes. Make sure to rub it under both arms all week.

P.S. Pappy let out a huge burp after doing your reading irby. So on top of winning best desktop award, you also win our "hungry man dinner award", yay you!



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Bah Bah Black Sheep

Profile for Jake: Hello! Interesting background happening here. I'm not quite sure what it is, but it's oddly compelling. Kinda like cheese. Interesting song cranking in the WinAmp too. "Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep"? Let's hope that's just a parody and not some sort of instructional soundtrack. When you're doing time in the big house maybe you could ask around and see if there are any PlanetQuake readers in there. If we go by the desktop reading submissions then most of our reader base consists of perverts and criminals.

Jube's Predictions: You will get your tongue stuck in a very embarrassing place this month. On the frag front this month you've definitely seen better days. Time to pack it in and get yourself an Xbox I think. Speaking of thinking... try to avoid it this month, it will only get you into trouble. Your lucky number this week is 24 and your best day for some hardcore frag action will be yesterday.

Pappy-R's Predictions: WTF is that? OK, here's the deal. You're going to meet and fall completely in love with a woman named Carla, from somewhere south of the border (pick one). She will become your every waking moments obsession and haunt your dreams. She will never know your name, bummer. Your lucky meat is the magic that is breakfast sausage!



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Is It Over Yet?

Profile for Corey: Bonjour and welcome to the desktop readings. Interesting hunk of metal you've got happening as your background. I assume that car is supposed to be something special, otherwise you'd probably not have it set as your background. Doesn't win any points with me though, it doesn't even look that shiny. I like shiny objects. I bet you do too.

Jube's Predictions: Sorry but I'm all out of predictions, please insert another quarter at the sound of the tone. Ah, wait, that's the box that makes the bed vibrate. You will be afraid of the dark this week, and for good reason. You have no clue what's been lurking outside your window late at night. I know, but it's just too traumatic to talk about. Live life to its fullest this month, if you want to. Pay attention to hidden messages, if you can find them. Your lucky number this week is 98 and your best time for some full out fragging glory will be five minutes from now.

Pappy-R's Predictions: Believe it or not, I had one of those! Yeah, see that screw on the door there? Yeah baby that was sweet! Carried it with me everywhere until I was forced to sell it for a hostile takeover of a rival corporation. With this being Thanksgiving weekend up here in the Great White North, you're lucky meat is our holiday bird, you turkey.




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