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    PlanetQuake | Articles | Quakescopes: Desktop Readings
   

Desktop Readings for March 15 - March 21, 2004
The mystical powers never stop!
— by Jube


Note: After a recent week of no Desktop Readings, QuakeScope readers took pity on me (and the crystal ball) and sent some on in! If you do not see your Desktop Reading in this week's feature, watch for it coming soon! I'll be using them a little more sparingly so the well does not run dry quite as soon again. :)


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Dirty Dancer

Profile for ravendark: Hello there! Guess what? You win this week's "Best Dressed Desk Award"! A high honour indeed. And no, you can't trade it in for cash value. ;) Of course it helped your cause that the dude below you is sporting an Unreal Tourney background, but yours still looked good all the same. Now let's get down to the nitty gritty! This week you will realize your fears are unfounded. Do not snitch a jelly donut today when nobody is looking. The chocolate one is much better. The crystal ball tells us that you enjoy "Dirty Dancing" in your underwear in front of the mirror. You hold the distinction of being the only person in the world who thinks Keannu Reeves is a good actor. In-game you are a camper, you love Rice Krispie Squares, eat with your mouth open and sleep in the nude. You get tipsy on non-alcholic beer. Today you will tell a total stranger that you're "sick and tired of salad". The stranger will recoil in shock and horror. You will receive a "Dear John" letter from a loved one today, but much to your relief, your name isn't "John". You like to cuddle with your pillow when you go to sleep, fantasizing that it's the Pink Power Ranger. Deny everything. The crystal ball tells me that you like to entertain your dates by sitting in a candlelit room and making XXX hand puppets on the wall. You have unpaid library fines. You wear Fruit of the Looms and like the smell of latex. You like to fantasize about marrying large breasted twins or a carnival contortionist. Your lucky number this week is 24 and your lucky underwear are actually rather unlucky.



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Lucky Reading #13

Profile for Zapf: Ouch! An Unreal Tournament background? Are you TRYING to piss us off here? ;) Obviously you don't win any awards this week. Shame on you! Not a bad layout regardless. Let's see what the crystal ball has to say this time... Sometimes you get so into your gaming that you start to drool on your keyboard. You hope to become a Speedo bathing suit model, but excess body hair and a third nipple may stand in your way. You are paranoid about cheaters and you enjoy blackmailing people in your spare time (usually with chat logs and the like). You have been known to cry tears of joy while watching chick flicks. You are addicted to adult films. Your plans to take over the world move forward to the next stage, soon, right on schedule. What you need now is a hunch-backed henchperson with pale protruding eyes. Fortunately for you, a suitable candidate will soon show up at your door, dressed as a peanut. You're currently paying child support under the assumption that you can get a girl pregnant if you kiss her on the lips. A new love affair will have you all misty-eyed. Either that, or it's the onset of glaucoma, in which case you should seek immediate medical attention. Excellent day for a bubble bath. If you don't have a little yellow rubber duckie, you'll need to get that first, of course. You will marry rich and have sex (with the hired help) regularly. You were abducted by aliens in 1994, it coincided with the day a crop circle appeared in your backyard. Looking into the old crystal ball, I see that you likes ice cream and french fries. You use soap to bathe in the shower and you brush your teeth daily. You also also wears socks and have access to a computer. Your lucky number this week is 89 and your lucky toothbrush is the one that wasn't dropped in the toilet last week.




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