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    PlanetQuake | Articles | Quakescopes: Desktop Readings
   

Desktop Readings for May 17 - May 23, 2004
The mystical powers never stop!
— by Jube


Note: If you don't see your desktop reading this week, be sure to watch for it next week!


 - click for full size image
Thingies and stuff.

Profile for Sargeant HacK: Hola! Before we do anything else, we need to get to the business of selecting this week's "Best Dressed Desk Award". It's a tough call, but I'm gonna give it to you since you even have some custom wallpaper happening with your name on it. No refunds or exchanges. Congrats! The crystal ball tells me that you'll be quite the frag machine this month. Enjoy it because apparently next month you'll suck. The way your icons are placed on the desktop tells me that you are fairly witty and generally fun to be around. And most importantly, no one wears a mullet better than you do! Due to forces beyond comprehension, you will begin talking with a Texas accent. Try not to be too impulsive, today. Ask youself if you really need that howitzer, or if you just think it'd be fun to have. You will discover that by simply wearing a large amulet made of bones and feathers, and by carrying a blowgun, you can usually get a seat on public transportation, no matter how crowded it gets. You will be visited by missionaries today, and will finally have an excellent opportunity to slip into your demon costume before opening the door. You will be attacked and beaten by a group of Nuns. When a baffled pair of mounted urban police drag them off you, they will refuse to say why they were attacking you. At some point this month your best friend will rush up and indicate by nonverbal means that Timmy is trapped under a log again. Your lucky number this week is 88 and your lucky power tool is one of those round saw thingies.



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The secret is in the blue.

Profile for kuro: Hey you! Nice set up, but I gave this week's award to the newbie desktopper up there. Better luck next time my little french fry. So apparently you've got finals happening! Eeep. Don't worry, the crystal ball tells me things will go well. Of course "she" has been known to lie from time to time. :( So you're wondering about your frag future huh? Well it's a bit hazy, but I can tell you one thing for sure... you could take Pappy-R with one hand tied behind your back. Of course most people can, but you will be particular adept at smiting the Pappy this month. You will become unwittingly embroiled in a turf war between rival Chinese restaurants. Before the day is over you'll find yourself angrily hurling potstickers at people you've never met. Oddly, despite the impression you gained from a television commercial, your new soap will not inspire unusual levels of grinning in the shower. Today you will have a sudden, somewhat irrational desire to drive to Wheeling, West Virginia. Fortunately, you will restrain yourself, there's really not much to see. Of course I once found something really gross hidden in the pages of a hotel phone book there. Today will be a great day for bargains. For example, you'll find a really amazing price on a flame-thrower at the Army surplus store. A flame-thrower is one of those rare things that really creates a lasting first impression -- so you should definitely get it. Desktop icons and placement tells me that you enjoy hot pork sandwiches and watching farm animals mate. Beware of giant squids today. Other than that, a good day for a nice walk along the beach. Your lucky number this week is 99 and your unlucky socks are blue (don't wear blue socks for finals!).




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