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QuakeScopes

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    PQ | Features | QuakeScopes
   

Tired of running blindly into your fraggin' future? Keep close tabs on all that's going to happen before it happens with our own little mystic, Jube, who reads the stars to give you a head start on your coming action packed week!

Find out the basics on your astrological sign first with the Astrological Guide to Quake, and then dive right into the following timely QuakeScopes. Leave surprise to your enemies...be prepared!


Recent QuakeScopes

  • May 1, 2006
    Scoping out May! Who's getting older 'n bolder?


    Past QuakeScopes
  • April 24, 2006
    AC/DC is not in your future.

  • April 17, 2006
    Fragging chocolate bunnies. Mmmm, tasty gibs indeed!

  • April 10, 2006
    This week Pluto circles Uranus.

  • April 3, 2006
    The April Fool or the April Drool? Hmm, that makes no sense. Oh well!

  • March 27, 2006
    April grenade showers bring May flowers?

  • March 20, 2006
    A week fit for fragging!

  • March 13, 2006
    To frag or be fragged... that is the question!

  • March 6, 2006
    Getting mystical in March!

  • February 27, 2006
    Look at all those March birthdays. Something in the water?

  • February 20, 2006
    A frag a day keeps the Strogg doctor away!

  • February 13, 2006
    Slow and easy wins the race, and we all know you're easy!

  • February 6, 2006
    Jupiter is looking at your naughty bits again!

  • January 30, 2006
    Giant balls invade the QScopes!

  • January 23, 2006
    The latest scopes and an invisible Strogg desktop reading!

  • January 16, 2006
    Egad, please put some clothes on, the crystal ball sees all!

  • January 9, 2006
    Top of the pops or crash 'n burn? Find out here!

  • January 2, 2006
    2006 sees your naughty bits and smells of pudding!

  • December 26, 2005
    The last QScopes of 2005, complete with bonus 2006 Predictions & Resolutions!

  • December 19, 2005
    Ho-ho-ho-horoscopes, Quake style baybee!

  • December 12, 2005
    Your forecast for the week is partly sunny!

  • December 5, 2005
    What does your frag future hold?

  • November 28, 2005
    Fragging our way in to December!

  • November 21, 2005
    Gamer Heaven or Gamer Hell, it's up to you!

  • November 14, 2005
    A frag a day keeps the Strogg away!

  • November 7, 2005
    Quaking like it's 1999!

  • October 31, 2005
    A new month, a new outlook, new birthdays and more!

  • October 24, 2005
    Are you fixing to be a Q4 ace? Find out if it's in the stars!

  • October 17, 2005
    Is Quake 4 in your future? Find out here!

  • October 10, 2005
    I think there's turkey in my future.

  • October 3, 2005
    When planets moon you.

  • September 26, 2005
    What happens in the underwear drawer stays in the underwear drawer!

  • September 19, 2005
    I love the smell of Quake in the morning!

  • September 12, 2005
    QuakeScopes love you long time!

  • September 5, 2005
    It's the month of the llama. Tag! You're it!

  • August 29, 2005
    A whole lot of mystical mayhem and a side order of splash damage!

  • August 22, 2005
    To frag or not to frag? The answer is clear!

  • August 15, 2005
    Frag Forecasts and vibrating crystal balls.

  • August 8, 2005
    Look in to the crystal ball, further, further... *splat* Oops!

  • August 1, 2005
    Fortune telling for the frag hungry!

  • July 25, 2005
    Frag forecast inside!

  • July 18, 2005
    Life, love and video games... Find out where you fit in!

  • July 11, 2005
    Winning the game or taking the blame? Find out here!

  • July 4, 2005
    Insert Uranus joke here!

  • June 27, 2005
    Quake style horoscopes with a digital palm reading on the side!

  • June 20, 2005
    Futures for sale! One day blowout, going cheap!

  • June 13, 2005
    Predictions for the masses and two desktops on tap!

  • June 6, 2005
    The crystal ball says... lava is bad, 'mmkay?

  • May 30, 2005
    Your lucky pancake is... round?

  • May 23, 2005
    We see you when you're sleeping... You snore.

  • May 16, 2005
    Not a good week for fetishes... apparently.

  • May 9, 2005
    Uranus is on fire this month, indicating hot frags!

  • May 2, 2005
    Fragging our way in to May!

  • April 25, 2005
    The latest predictions and two desktops to chew on!

  • April 18, 2005
    Bad moon rising or hot frags on the horizon?

  • April 11, 2005
    Starting your week off in the know!

  • April 4, 2005
    Predictions fit for the Strogg!

  • March 28, 2005
    Find out it you've got game or game's got you!

  • March 21, 2005
    Top of the star charts, top of the frag charts!

  • March 14, 2005
    Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!

  • March 7, 2005
    Even the stars know their Quake!

  • February 28, 2005
    QuakeScopes March in to March!

  • February 21, 2005
    Fresh futures, on sale now!

  • February 14, 2005
    Frag and fortune... or not. Your future awaits you!

  • February 7, 2005
    Random advice and abuse, hand-picked just for you!

  • January 31, 2005
    It's kind of like a cross between the Oracle at Delphi and a fortune cookie, really

  • January 24, 2005
    Better than a magic 8-Ball, more funky that tea leaves, it's the QuakeScopes!

  • January 17, 2005
    Bad moon rising or stars around Uranus?

  • January 10, 2005
    January. That means it's... uh... Capricorn or something?

  • January 3, 2005
    Start your New Year off right with the first QuakeScopes of 2005!

  • December 27, 2004
    At last, the final QuakeScopes of 2004! What mysteries will be revealed in the new year?

  • December 20, 2004
    This one ought to hold you through the holidays... it's the Christmas QuakeScopes!

  • December 13, 2004
    It's always better to give than to receive, when it comes to rail slugs.

  • December 6, 2004
    She knows if you are sleeping, she knows if you're awake... we've told Jube to quit spying on people with that crystal ball!

  • November 29, 2004
    It's a very giving time of year... why not give that special someone a rocket?

  • November 22, 2004
    Don't forget to give thanks for Quads and railguns!

  • November 15, 2004
    What do the stars know that we don't, anyway?

  • November 8, 2004
    Forecasting frags and handing out ancient wisdom. Really.

  • November 1, 2004
    November has arrived! Celebrate with some QuakeScopes!

  • October 25, 2004
    The end of October draws near

  • October 18, 2004
    This week in your Quake forecast... rockets!

  • October 11, 2004
    October - it's the Zodiac's giant scale appreciation month

  • October 4, 2004
    Just some stuff about the Zodiac, eh?

  • September 27, 2004
    Falling into October!

  • September 20, 2004
    Libra approaches!

  • September 13, 2004
    It's the dreaded Monday the 13th!

  • September 6, 2004
    Good advice for bad people

  • August 30, 2004
    Self-help for the star-crossed

  • August 23, 2004
    Your Olympics-free QuakeScope coverage continues!

  • August 16, 2004
    Mid-month madness... it's madness, I tell you! Madness!

  • August 9, 2004
    Desktop drought leaves Jube high and dry!

  • August 1, 2004
    This one's for all the Leos in the audience

  • July 26, 2004
    The forecast for tomorrow: violent, with a 50% chance of gibs

  • July 19, 2004
    Egad! More QuakeScopes!

  • July 12, 2004
    Good news for people who like QuakeScopes

  • July 5, 2004
    We've got desktops!

  • June 28, 2004
    QuakeScopes and the July Birthdays, fortune cookie not included.

  • June 21, 2004
    Summer officially starts with QuakeScopes this year!

  • June 14, 2004
    Will there be... gaming in your future?

  • June 7, 2004
    Reading the entrails is much quicker when you've got a rocket launcher!

  • May 31, 2004
    Jube shows us a frag filled future!

  • May 24, 2004
    Psychic, psychotic...whatever gets the job done!

  • May 17, 2004
    Crystal ball? Check. Tarot cards? Check. Rocket launcher? Check!

  • May 10, 2004
    QuakeScopes, where Jube reads palms she finds laying around the arenas

  • May 3, 2004
    Welcome to May! Here's your Quakescopes!

  • April 26, 2004
    Signs and portents, portents and signs

  • April 19, 2004
    Astrology for the third eye-impaired

  • April 12, 2004
    Spring showers? It's raining gibs!

  • April 5, 2004
    Handy hints for Spring fragging

  • March 29, 2004
    Never mind weather forecasts, frag forecasting is what you need!

  • March 22, 2004
    If you wanted to be a rock star but failed, porn star might be just the job you're looking for.

  • March 15, 2004
    Those lucky underwear you have? Not so lucky after all.

  • March 8, 2004
    The roadmap to your future... or something like that.

  • March 1, 2004
    Subtle like a BFG

  • February 23, 2004
    Banned in 43 nations! Get your QScopes before it's too late!

  • February 16, 2004
    The Desktop Readings return... again!

  • February 9, 2004
    Half-assed explanations for future phenomena on the cheap!

  • February 2, 2004
    Happy Groundhog's Day! Greet the little bastard with a shotgun, not a shadow!

  • January 26, 2004
    How do the stars know so much about your personal life? Spy cameras, that's how!

  • January 19, 2004
    Exit Sagittarius, stage left... enter the goat!

  • January 12, 2004
    Who can keep track of stars and planets with all these rockets flying around?

  • January 5, 2004
    Crystal balls, lucky power tools, and all that other fun stuff

  • January 1, 2004
    BONUS! 2004 Astrological Guide

  • December 29, 2003
    Kick off the new year with some QuakeScopes!

  • December 22, 2003
    Ho Ho Holy stuff on a stick, it's the holiday QuakeScopes!

  • December 15, 2003
    More holiday treats for the Quakescope addict!

  • December 8, 2003
    PQ's Monday survival guide is still kickin' it old-school

  • December 1, 2003
    'Tis the season to be fragging

  • November 24, 2003
    How to avoid confrontations with giant Amazonian spiders, and other helpful hints

  • November 17, 2003
    Sagittarius approaches... ph34r the bow!

  • November 10, 2003
    Your winning lottery numbers revealed! Really!

  • November 3, 2003
    Since when is "1/2" anyone's lucky number?

  • October 27, 2003
    The sting of the Scorpion!

  • October 20, 2003
    No Pappy, no frills, just a good old-fashioned crystal ball

  • October 13, 2003
    Pappy-R gets in on the game this week with some predictions of his own. The "meatiest" desktop readings yet!

  • October 6, 2003
    It's the ever-lovin' QuakeScopes - what more do you need to know?

  • September 29, 2003
    Fraggin' for Fall!

  • September 22, 2003
    Fresh meat for the Desktop Readings!

  • September 15, 2003
    What does it mean when Mercury aligns with Stroggos?

  • September 8, 2003
    Tomorrow's tips, today!

  • September 1, 2003
    More mystical advice than you can shake a boom-stick at!

  • August 25, 2003
    September's coming fast, last chance to get your summer frag on!

  • August 18, 2003
    Leo's tail grows short!

  • August 11, 2003
    Mercury ascends... or maybe it was setting. Who can keep track, nowadays?

  • August 4, 2003
    Could there be a game of Quake in your future?

  • July 28, 2003
    Mystical omens, mysterious portents, and rockets.

  • July 21, 2003
    Your future's a lock! Got the key?

  • July 14, 2003
    To LAN, or not to LAN?

  • July 7, 2003
    Tip for the week: get down with your bad self

  • June 30, 2003
    This week, 10% of the QuakeScopes have been replaced with lies. Can you spot which?

  • June 23, 2003
    Who needs a crystal ball, anyway?

  • June 16, 2003
    "Always pillage before you burn," and other wisdom of the ancients

  • June 9, 2003
    Gaming guidance for the frag-impaired

  • June 2, 2003
    The year's half over, and the readings are getting funky!

  • May 26, 2003
    Hang on, we're heading into the summer months!

  • May 19, 2003
    Back with Destop Readings for your soul!

  • May 12, 2003
    The Desktop disaster!

  • May 5, 2003
    Are Taurus folks really all bull?

  • April 28, 2003
    This week, Jube reads your sleen!

  • April 21, 2003
    Words of wisdom for the woefully unprepared

  • April 14, 2003
    Beat them to the punch, pull the wool over your own eyes!

  • April 7, 2003
    What's your lucky sausage?

  • March 31, 2003
    It's about the fly gitchers, yo.

  • March 24, 2003
    Celebrate the vernal equinox with the QuakeScopes!

  • March 17, 2003
    Bow down before the crystal ball!

  • March 10, 2003
    Another 6 desktop readings for your viewing pleasure!

  • March 3, 2003
    Jube's roaring into March with 2 full pages of Desktop Readings!

  • February 24, 2003
    Back to normal, if you can call it that.

  • February 17, 2003
    Jube's on vacation, so get ready for a substitute psychic!

  • February 10, 2003
    Big-eyed women in sailor suits, and other works of fiction

  • February 3, 2003
    Psychic musings and other Quake phenomena

  • January 27, 2003
    Railgun ascendant, as the Quad passes through Scorpio

  • January 20, 2003
    Half-baked assassination schemes and half-naked teddy bears... just another week in the Quakescopes!

  • January 13, 2003
    Psychic insanity and more pr0n jokes

  • January 5, 2003
    Getting by with a little help from the mystic smoking head of Bob.

  • January 2, 2003
    Special! 2003 Astrological Guide

  • December 30, 2002
    Jube's crystal ball is back from its holiday break!

  • December 23, 2002
    Randomly generated desktop readings... this is new?

  • December 16, 2002
    Talking in tongues and a guest appearance from the Magic Coffee Cup.

  • December 9, 2002
    Jube gets a visit from the copyright police, plus a pimpin' Yoda!

  • December 2, 2002
    It's a recipe for mayhem!

  • November 25, 2002
    Your winter wonders begin!

  • November 18, 2002
    I see gibs in your future...

  • November 11, 2002
    Forecasting your future frags!

  • November 4, 2002
    The crystal ball says "No."

  • October 28, 2002
    Dating tips for carjackers, and the usual reincarnation advice

  • October 21, 2002
    Weapons of mass destruction and you.

  • October 14, 2002
    Sex, lawn gnomes, and rock and roll!

  • October 7, 2002
    The Magic 8-Ball of Love

  • September 30, 2002
    The Ozzman cometh? Plus, a visit from the compression fairy!

  • September 23, 2002
    Autumn Quakescopes = scary scarecrow desktops

  • September 16, 2002
    Peeking up the skirts of the planets

  • September 9, 2002
    j00b's psychic powers never fail to impress the impressionable!

  • September 2, 2002
    ...there's no future in time travel

  • August 26, 2002
    Dancin' like a Virgo!

  • August 19, 2002
    If something smells fishy, you may be eating fish.

  • August 12, 2002
    Attack of the killer QuakeScopes.

  • August 5, 2002
    Summer desktops = scantily-clad models, of course.

  • July 29, 2002
    More summer carnage as August approaches!

  • July 22, 2002
    Sorry, we don't do weather.

  • July 15, 2002
    The continuing adventures!

  • July 8, 2002
    Have crystal ball, will travel.

  • July 1, 2002
    Bringing you tomorrow's future... today!

  • June 24, 2002
    Saturn ascends... get the railgun.

  • June 17, 2002
    Normal QuakeScoping resumes once more.

  • June 10, 2002
    It's Jube's turn to get profiled!

  • June 3, 2002
    The QuakeScopes continue!

  • May 27, 2002
    Coasting into June

  • May 20, 2002
    More Mayhem!

  • May 13, 2002
    When the Quad is in the second house...

  • May 6, 2002
    Lucky with the railgun, unlucky in love

  • April 29, 2002
    Predicting the future like it ain't no thang!

  • April 22, 2002
    It's (almost) anime week in the desktop readings!

  • April 14, 2002
    PQ and lots of games, what more do ya need?!

  • April 7, 2002
    Jube predicts the future once more... it's almost spooky!

  • April 1, 2002
    You can't fool Jube!

  • March 25, 2002
    March; In like a lion and out like a chronic masturbator?!

  • March 18, 2002
    L33t desktops and financial frugality.

  • March 11, 2002
    More QuakeScopes? On a Monday?

  • March 4, 2002
    Rocking out with the latest desktops

  • February 25, 2002
    Four tasteful desktops, what are the odds?

  • February 18, 2002
    The Olympics fun continues!

  • February 11, 2002
    Special Valentine's Day/Olympics issue!

  • February 4, 2002
    3 out of 4 ain't bad...

  • January 28, 2002
    Another desktop makeover

  • January 21, 2002
    Icon explosions and scary love poems

  • January 14, 2002
    Scary Quake iconage

  • January 7, 2002
    Yet more QuakeScopes

  • December 31, 2001
    Quaking into 2002!

  • December 24, 2001
    The special Christmas edition

  • December 17, 2001
    The most boring desktop... ever!

  • December 10, 2001
    Pappy-R gets analyzed!

  • December 3, 2001
    This week in desktop readings: Cooking, drugs, and EverQuest!

  • November 26, 2001
    More desktop victi... er, readings!

  • November 19, 2001
    'Shrooms and stalkers?

  • November 12, 2001
    More future, birthdays and desktops!

  • November 5, 2001
    Desktop Readings Begin!

  • October 29, 2001
    Trick or Trout?

  • October 22, 2001
    Enter the Scorpion

  • October 14, 2001
    Head harvesting time!

  • October 7, 2001
    Fall Fraggin'

  • September 30, 2001
    Busting into October

  • September 23, 2001
    How will your month end?

  • September 16, 2001
    Mid month highs and lows!

  • September 9, 2001
    PQ QuakeScopes kicks off!


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