Tired of running blindly into your fraggin' future? Keep close tabs on all that's going to happen
before it happens with our own little mystic, Jube, who reads the stars to give you a head start on your coming action packed week!
Find out the basics on your astrological sign first with the Astrological Guide to Quake, and then dive right into the following timely QuakeScopes. Leave surprise to your enemies...be prepared!
May 1, 2006
Scoping out May! Who's getting older 'n bolder?
April 24, 2006
AC/DC is not in your future.
April 17, 2006
Fragging chocolate bunnies. Mmmm, tasty gibs indeed!
April 10, 2006
This week Pluto circles Uranus.
April 3, 2006
The April Fool or the April Drool? Hmm, that makes no sense. Oh well!
March 27, 2006
April grenade showers bring May flowers?
March 20, 2006
A week fit for fragging!
March 13, 2006
To frag or be fragged... that is the question!
March 6, 2006
Getting mystical in March!
February 27, 2006
Look at all those March birthdays. Something in the water?
February 20, 2006
A frag a day keeps the Strogg doctor away!
February 13, 2006
Slow and easy wins the race, and we all know you're easy!
February 6, 2006
Jupiter is looking at your naughty bits again!
January 30, 2006
Giant balls invade the QScopes!
January 23, 2006
The latest scopes and an invisible Strogg desktop reading!
January 16, 2006
Egad, please put some clothes on, the crystal ball sees all!
January 9, 2006
Top of the pops or crash 'n burn? Find out here!
January 2, 2006
2006 sees your naughty bits and smells of pudding!
December 26, 2005
The last QScopes of 2005, complete with bonus 2006 Predictions & Resolutions!
December 19, 2005
Ho-ho-ho-horoscopes, Quake style baybee!
December 12, 2005
Your forecast for the week is partly sunny!
December 5, 2005
What does your frag future hold?
November 28, 2005
Fragging our way in to December!
November 21, 2005
Gamer Heaven or Gamer Hell, it's up to you!
November 14, 2005
A frag a day keeps the Strogg away!
November 7, 2005
Quaking like it's 1999!
October 31, 2005
A new month, a new outlook, new birthdays and more!
October 24, 2005
Are you fixing to be a Q4 ace? Find out if it's in the stars!
October 17, 2005
Is Quake 4 in your future? Find out here!
October 10, 2005
I think there's turkey in my future.
October 3, 2005
When planets moon you.
September 26, 2005
What happens in the underwear drawer stays in the underwear drawer!
September 19, 2005
I love the smell of Quake in the morning!
September 12, 2005
QuakeScopes love you long time!
September 5, 2005
It's the month of the llama. Tag! You're it!
August 29, 2005
A whole lot of mystical mayhem and a side order of splash damage!
August 22, 2005
To frag or not to frag? The answer is clear!
August 15, 2005
Frag Forecasts and vibrating crystal balls.
August 8, 2005
Look in to the crystal ball, further, further... *splat* Oops!
August 1, 2005
Fortune telling for the frag hungry!
July 25, 2005
Frag forecast inside!
July 18, 2005
Life, love and video games... Find out where you fit in!
July 11, 2005
Winning the game or taking the blame? Find out here!
July 4, 2005
Insert Uranus joke here!
June 27, 2005
Quake style horoscopes with a digital palm reading on the side!
June 20, 2005
Futures for sale! One day blowout, going cheap!
June 13, 2005
Predictions for the masses and two desktops on tap!
June 6, 2005
The crystal ball says... lava is bad, 'mmkay?
May 30, 2005
Your lucky pancake is... round?
May 23, 2005
We see you when you're sleeping... You snore.
May 16, 2005
Not a good week for fetishes... apparently.
May 9, 2005
Uranus is on fire this month, indicating hot frags!
May 2, 2005
Fragging our way in to May!
April 25, 2005
The latest predictions and two desktops to chew on!
April 18, 2005
Bad moon rising or hot frags on the horizon?
April 11, 2005
Starting your week off in the know!
April 4, 2005
Predictions fit for the Strogg!
March 28, 2005
Find out it you've got game or game's got you!
March 21, 2005
Top of the star charts, top of the frag charts!
March 14, 2005
Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A!
March 7, 2005
Even the stars know their Quake!
February 28, 2005
QuakeScopes March in to March!
February 21, 2005
Fresh futures, on sale now!
February 14, 2005
Frag and fortune... or not. Your future awaits you!
February 7, 2005
Random advice and abuse, hand-picked just for you!
January 31, 2005
It's kind of like a cross between the Oracle at Delphi and a fortune cookie, really
January 24, 2005
Better than a magic 8-Ball, more funky that tea leaves, it's the QuakeScopes!
January 17, 2005
Bad moon rising or stars around Uranus?
January 10, 2005
January. That means it's... uh... Capricorn or something?
January 3, 2005
Start your New Year off right with the first QuakeScopes of 2005!
December 27, 2004
At last, the final QuakeScopes of 2004! What mysteries will be revealed in the new year?
December 20, 2004
This one ought to hold you through the holidays... it's the Christmas QuakeScopes!
December 13, 2004
It's always better to give than to receive, when it comes to rail slugs.
December 6, 2004
She knows if you are sleeping, she knows if you're awake... we've told Jube to quit spying on people with that crystal ball!
November 29, 2004
It's a very giving time of year... why not give that special someone a rocket?
November 22, 2004
Don't forget to give thanks for Quads and railguns!
November 15, 2004
What do the stars know that we don't, anyway?
November 8, 2004
Forecasting frags and handing out ancient wisdom. Really.
November 1, 2004
November has arrived! Celebrate with some QuakeScopes!
October 25, 2004
The end of October draws near
October 18, 2004
This week in your Quake forecast... rockets!
October 11, 2004
October - it's the Zodiac's giant scale appreciation month
October 4, 2004
Just some stuff about the Zodiac, eh?
September 27, 2004
Falling into October!
September 20, 2004
September 13, 2004
It's the dreaded Monday the 13th!
September 6, 2004
Good advice for bad people
August 30, 2004
Self-help for the star-crossed
August 23, 2004
Your Olympics-free QuakeScope coverage continues!
August 16, 2004
Mid-month madness... it's madness, I tell you! Madness!
August 9, 2004
Desktop drought leaves Jube high and dry!
August 1, 2004
This one's for all the Leos in the audience
July 26, 2004
The forecast for tomorrow: violent, with a 50% chance of gibs
July 19, 2004
Egad! More QuakeScopes!
July 12, 2004
Good news for people who like QuakeScopes
July 5, 2004
We've got desktops!
June 28, 2004
QuakeScopes and the July Birthdays, fortune cookie not included.
June 21, 2004
Summer officially starts with QuakeScopes this year!
June 14, 2004
Will there be... gaming in your future?
June 7, 2004
Reading the entrails is much quicker when you've got a rocket launcher!
May 31, 2004
Jube shows us a frag filled future!
May 24, 2004
Psychic, psychotic...whatever gets the job done!
May 17, 2004
Crystal ball? Check. Tarot cards? Check. Rocket launcher? Check!
May 10, 2004
QuakeScopes, where Jube reads palms she finds laying around the arenas
May 3, 2004
Welcome to May! Here's your Quakescopes!
April 26, 2004
Signs and portents, portents and signs
April 19, 2004
Astrology for the third eye-impaired
April 12, 2004
Spring showers? It's raining gibs!
April 5, 2004
Handy hints for Spring fragging
March 29, 2004
Never mind weather forecasts, frag forecasting is what you need!
March 22, 2004
If you wanted to be a rock star but failed, porn star might be just the job you're looking for.
March 15, 2004
Those lucky underwear you have? Not so lucky after all.
March 8, 2004
The roadmap to your future... or something like that.
March 1, 2004
Subtle like a BFG
February 23, 2004
Banned in 43 nations! Get your QScopes before it's too late!
February 16, 2004
The Desktop Readings return... again!
February 9, 2004
Half-assed explanations for future phenomena on the cheap!
February 2, 2004
Happy Groundhog's Day! Greet the little bastard with a shotgun, not a shadow!
January 26, 2004
How do the stars know so much about your personal life? Spy cameras, that's how!
January 19, 2004
Exit Sagittarius, stage left... enter the goat!
January 12, 2004
Who can keep track of stars and planets with all these rockets flying around?
January 5, 2004
Crystal balls, lucky power tools, and all that other fun stuff
January 1, 2004
BONUS! 2004 Astrological Guide
December 29, 2003
Kick off the new year with some QuakeScopes!
December 22, 2003
Ho Ho Holy stuff on a stick, it's the holiday QuakeScopes!
December 15, 2003
More holiday treats for the Quakescope addict!
December 8, 2003
PQ's Monday survival guide is still kickin' it old-school
December 1, 2003
'Tis the season to be fragging
November 24, 2003
How to avoid confrontations with giant Amazonian spiders, and other helpful hints
November 17, 2003
Sagittarius approaches... ph34r the bow!
November 10, 2003
Your winning lottery numbers revealed! Really!
November 3, 2003
Since when is "1/2" anyone's lucky number?
October 27, 2003
The sting of the Scorpion!
October 20, 2003
No Pappy, no frills, just a good old-fashioned crystal ball
October 13, 2003
Pappy-R gets in on the game this week with some predictions of his own. The "meatiest" desktop readings yet!
October 6, 2003
It's the ever-lovin' QuakeScopes - what more do you need to know?
September 29, 2003
Fraggin' for Fall!
September 22, 2003
Fresh meat for the Desktop Readings!
September 15, 2003
What does it mean when Mercury aligns with Stroggos?
September 8, 2003
Tomorrow's tips, today!
September 1, 2003
More mystical advice than you can shake a boom-stick at!
August 25, 2003
September's coming fast, last chance to get your summer frag on!
August 18, 2003
Leo's tail grows short!
August 11, 2003
Mercury ascends... or maybe it was setting. Who can keep track, nowadays?
August 4, 2003
Could there be a game of Quake in your future?
July 28, 2003
Mystical omens, mysterious portents, and rockets.
July 21, 2003
Your future's a lock! Got the key?
July 14, 2003
To LAN, or not to LAN?
July 7, 2003
Tip for the week: get down with your bad self
June 30, 2003
This week, 10% of the QuakeScopes have been replaced with lies. Can you spot which?
June 23, 2003
Who needs a crystal ball, anyway?
June 16, 2003
"Always pillage before you burn," and other wisdom of the ancients
June 9, 2003
Gaming guidance for the frag-impaired
June 2, 2003
The year's half over, and the readings are getting funky!
May 26, 2003
Hang on, we're heading into the summer months!
May 19, 2003
Back with Destop Readings for your soul!
May 12, 2003
The Desktop disaster!
May 5, 2003
Are Taurus folks really all bull?
April 28, 2003
This week, Jube reads your sleen!
April 21, 2003
Words of wisdom for the woefully unprepared
April 14, 2003
Beat them to the punch, pull the wool over your own eyes!
April 7, 2003
What's your lucky sausage?
March 31, 2003
It's about the fly gitchers, yo.
March 24, 2003
Celebrate the vernal equinox with the QuakeScopes!
March 17, 2003
Bow down before the crystal ball!
March 10, 2003
Another 6 desktop readings for your viewing pleasure!
March 3, 2003
Jube's roaring into March with 2 full pages of Desktop Readings!
February 24, 2003
Back to normal, if you can call it that.
February 17, 2003
Jube's on vacation, so get ready for a substitute psychic!
February 10, 2003
Big-eyed women in sailor suits, and other works of fiction
February 3, 2003
Psychic musings and other Quake phenomena
January 27, 2003
Railgun ascendant, as the Quad passes through Scorpio
January 20, 2003
Half-baked assassination schemes and half-naked teddy bears... just another week in the Quakescopes!
January 13, 2003
Psychic insanity and more pr0n jokes
January 5, 2003
Getting by with a little help from the mystic smoking head of Bob.
January 2, 2003
Special! 2003 Astrological Guide
December 30, 2002
Jube's crystal ball is back from its holiday break!
December 23, 2002
Randomly generated desktop readings... this is new?
December 16, 2002
Talking in tongues and a guest appearance from the Magic Coffee Cup.
December 9, 2002
Jube gets a visit from the copyright police, plus a pimpin' Yoda!
December 2, 2002
It's a recipe for mayhem!
November 25, 2002
Your winter wonders begin!
November 18, 2002
I see gibs in your future...
November 11, 2002
Forecasting your future frags!
November 4, 2002
The crystal ball says "No."
October 28, 2002
Dating tips for carjackers, and the usual reincarnation advice
October 21, 2002
Weapons of mass destruction and you.
October 14, 2002
Sex, lawn gnomes, and rock and roll!
October 7, 2002
The Magic 8-Ball of Love
September 30, 2002
The Ozzman cometh? Plus, a visit from the compression fairy!
September 23, 2002
Autumn Quakescopes = scary scarecrow desktops
September 16, 2002
Peeking up the skirts of the planets
September 9, 2002
j00b's psychic powers never fail to impress the impressionable!
September 2, 2002
...there's no future in time travel
August 26, 2002
Dancin' like a Virgo!
August 19, 2002
If something smells fishy, you may be eating fish.
August 12, 2002
Attack of the killer QuakeScopes.
August 5, 2002
Summer desktops = scantily-clad models, of course.
July 29, 2002
More summer carnage as August approaches!
July 22, 2002
Sorry, we don't do weather.
July 15, 2002
The continuing adventures!
July 8, 2002
Have crystal ball, will travel.
July 1, 2002
Bringing you tomorrow's future... today!
June 24, 2002
Saturn ascends... get the railgun.
June 17, 2002
Normal QuakeScoping resumes once more.
June 10, 2002
It's Jube's turn to get profiled!
June 3, 2002
The QuakeScopes continue!
May 27, 2002
Coasting into June
May 20, 2002
May 13, 2002
When the Quad is in the second house...
May 6, 2002
Lucky with the railgun, unlucky in love
April 29, 2002
Predicting the future like it ain't no thang!
April 22, 2002
It's (almost) anime week in the desktop readings!
April 14, 2002
PQ and lots of games, what more do ya need?!
April 7, 2002
Jube predicts the future once more... it's almost spooky!
April 1, 2002
You can't fool Jube!
March 25, 2002
March; In like a lion and out like a chronic masturbator?!
March 18, 2002
L33t desktops and financial frugality.
March 11, 2002
More QuakeScopes? On a Monday?
March 4, 2002
Rocking out with the latest desktops
February 25, 2002
Four tasteful desktops, what are the odds?
February 18, 2002
The Olympics fun continues!
February 11, 2002
Special Valentine's Day/Olympics issue!
February 4, 2002
3 out of 4 ain't bad...
January 28, 2002
Another desktop makeover
January 21, 2002
Icon explosions and scary love poems
January 14, 2002
Scary Quake iconage
January 7, 2002
Yet more QuakeScopes
December 31, 2001
Quaking into 2002!
December 24, 2001
The special Christmas edition
December 17, 2001
The most boring desktop... ever!
December 10, 2001
Pappy-R gets analyzed!
December 3, 2001
This week in desktop readings: Cooking, drugs, and EverQuest!
November 26, 2001
More desktop victi... er, readings!
November 19, 2001
'Shrooms and stalkers?
November 12, 2001
More future, birthdays and desktops!
November 5, 2001
Desktop Readings Begin!
October 29, 2001
Trick or Trout?
October 22, 2001
Enter the Scorpion
October 14, 2001
Head harvesting time!
October 7, 2001
September 30, 2001
Busting into October
September 23, 2001
How will your month end?
September 16, 2001
Mid month highs and lows!
September 9, 2001
PQ QuakeScopes kicks off!