Captain
Torso
Loves
You

 

 
Where - News
 

 

I wrote stuff probably - 2nd August 2000
 

Hello. I got a few bits of positive feedback from people I pretty much forced to read the leper story. This made me happy, so I wrote some more; just one more chapter done. This one is basically about the futility of the human condition. And Captain Torso's penis.

Chapter 1: Grunt
Chapter 2: Bitterman
Chapter 3: Wayland
Chapter 4: Torso
- NEW!

Time to brag: here's what people though of the first three chapters:

Amphetamin: "That's dark man... really fucking dark...."
Pixel Ghost: "1 hour later. I love it. Read both of them. ANd loved them both. Absolutely fantastic. Well written, nicely interlinking, didactic in parts, humerous, technical-yet at the same time simple, engrossing and most of all: BADASS!!! Very very nicely done pain."
LeeMon: "Yep..." "Cool..." - He didn't really read it :\
Matt P: "That story is absolutely awesome, it was really late and I wanted to sleep so badly but I didnt wanna leave the story. Thank god you didnt have a 4th page up or I woulda read the whole thing through " - Haha. Too bad. New one's up.

N][CH3X: "I've looked at it for 20 sec...it blows! LOL JK" "LOL....Im a "dark" person my self...so it was GREAT" - Dark? That can't be right. You laugh too much to be a goth.

Two great mods that are must-haves: TargetQuake, Sliders (not out yet, but it's gonna rule). As soon as I get my Perl Job over and done with, I'll be doing journalism and stuff, so I'll be able to get back to programming too! Stick with us: we WILL happen.

> PainBerry

 

 
I am l33ter than LeeMon - 22th July 2000
 

I'm posting some Leper fiction today. It's basically inspired by reading LeeMon's stuff that was originally posted on the Wirehead Generations pages, and then somehow made its way onto PlanetQuake's main pages in place of any serious game related editorials.

Before you say anything, yes, I realise that the word I'm looking for in chapter one is "Glands" not "Glans" which is part of a penis or something.

Here's the Leper story:

Chapter 1: Grunt
Chapter 2: Bitterman
Chapter 3: Wayland

Note: it really isn't the cookie cutter crap stuff you'll be expecting. If Mynx were in it, she would be a porn star, like it says in the manual.

> PainBerry

 

 
Last Manual Post- 21th June 2000
 

Hoax Pixel Ghost is very close to doing a new interface for me, as well as being halfway through an absolutely stunning flash intro for the site, and I'm very excited about both of them. He's doing absolutely outstanding work - tis commendable.

I thought I'd just take this final manual update to post a personal pet hate of mine: ickle bounce pads.

I have nothing against big, fast, distance chewing bounce pads that raise you 4 floors or fire you the length of a football pitch. They're fine. Nice fast gameflow, and better than lifts and trains. But the piddley little ones are an abuse of what's meant to be a a tool to maintain game flow around maps with great verticality and spaciousness.

Bounce Pad Evils
 

Good
Shit
 

The tiny little ones I'm ranting on about are the ones that project you onto a platform which is juuust higher than you can jump. They're obviously there for 1 reason: The mapper couldn't be bothered to throw in stairs or even a slope - neither of which drag my lateral speed to a complete halt. This is possibly justifyable because slopes look ugly, and stairs kick up the r_speeds. I still think this is only barely justafyable. "Useful are bounce pads, but use them wisely you must" as Yoda said.

News from Exelan: I've been spelling Exelan wrong all this time... It should be eXe-LAN. Yeah, you know, like spelling Matrix with a 'y'. "Matryx". L33t. Apparantly the photos should be up soon. Okay. I'll just go and place money on them ever coming out.

> PainBerry.

 

 
1 more page - 21th June 2000
 

The next page of the design document covers the new HUD implementation which is neet and leet.

Read Ding's cool ExeLan Write up. Cool!

> PainBerry.

 

 
Ding, Live from exeter - 21th June 2000
 

D.Ing's done what can only be described as a funny write up of the great/abysmal Lan party we attended on Sunday (yes, just Sunday). It's quite a laff, but he doesn't bitch on about "Kosh the rail" camper hardly as much as he should.Check it.

I have to hit any ExeLan dissing on the head right now - considering everything (the stoned organisers, the angry old men and the CS zealots) it was pretty fun, and with the more than socially challenged company it really made me feel not half as geeky as I used to. The next ExeLan should be really cool, and you should travel from wherever you live to be there. Here's their website which might have some terrible piccies of me, Ding and Zephro of which you can take the piss. But don't diss my hat. It ownz j00.

I am looking for a job. Bye bye.

> PainBerry.

 

 
ExeLan Blew me - 20th June 2000
 

I just got back from ExeLan, a 40 or so player Lan party at Exeter. It was pretty fun and on the whole, well organised (ie the network setup only took 5 hours this time round).

I managed to enter the Q3a duel tourney. I was taken out in first round by someone I'm positive I should have owned. Why? Well, we were playing this first round match on Q3dm17 - hardly a map meant for duelling, as one can be seen by one's opponent at any time... so guess why my opponent did? S'right. Went an' camped da rail for literally 70% of the time. On hind sight I should have just hid behind the bounce pads where he couldn't see me, then take him on at close quaters, as I was pinning him down with 'death from above' rocket tactics whenever we were in close. But no. Foo' had to chicken out and play point and click adventure on my ass.

In about the last 30 seconds of the match, the scores were tied at -2/-2. I launched myself at the rail platform hoping to bounce this bastard off his perch with a few thousand rockets, and I did mange to. Sadly my intended target of the returning bounce pad evaded me as I took splash from my own muntinous rockets and was propelled off the level along with my enemy.

We both fell. I hit the death brush and assumed he did too. Then the time limit hit. I looked up and saw that the score was -2/-3. You could hear my screams from London. This may possibly be the worst way to go out of a tourney, and a few people were sympathetic, although they missed the whole point that their buddy was "skillfully" zooming in and railing my ass from a safe distance. I'm surprised he didn't ask me if I wanted a deltaforce duel instead, where he could REALLY show off his pixel hunting skills. It has certainly faded my opinion of Quake 3 being the single best measure of FPS skill out there while cheap but "tactically okay" strategies like this exist. I put it down to the bad map choice. Yeah I'm bitter, but I really could have taken that guy out. If I pulled the crap that he was pulling, I would never claim a victory that cheap. But that's just me and my "morals".

D.Ing managed to fuck up some old guy's CD writer by slam dunking a football on his keyboard. I would have been okay with old people at the lan (Pappy-R is cool and he's like 80) but this guy was so fucked up it was untrue. His screen saver was a compilation of Lara Croft pictures, he played pretty much nothing but base UT and he started shouting like some power mad pimp at this 10 year old kid sitting next to him (I think he made him cry. Pretty nice guy). The asshole deserved everything he got.

When he confronted me and Zephro about the football incedent (D.Ing had run away at this point), I just said "not... my... ball..." (blatantly WAS) and Zephro nudges me as he types in the Q3a text promt "Bwahahahaha".

The CounterStrike contest took the piss. D.Ing, me and some german d00d were all in what was meant to be a 4 man team. D.Ing and me HATE CS, but we beat our first round opponents, mainly by cussing their CT mums. Infact we changed server once, and restarted the game three times (and won every time), but when it came to announcing who won, our team was told that we got through by "default" because the opposition had "technical difficulties" (translation: they played CS pretty much non stop, and thought it was the best game evar, and couldn't take the fact that we, the "comedy element" of the LanParty, who hated the mod and would rather have our balls dragged over a cheese grater than play it, beat them in 3 matches in a row and cussed their baby sister pimping CT asses). We did it to try to win the Cliffy B signed copies of UT so we could burn them =).

Since we only had a 3 player team, one of the clan members on our second round opposition team decided to "help" us out by making up the team. It was the first time D.Ing and me had played CS_Italy. Halfway through the match, the guy evening up our team says "defend the hostages". D.Ing's all like "We have hostages?"

There are chickens you can shoot in CS_Italy. It's more fun than the rest of the game so it gets my vote.

> PainBerry.

 

 
Bezzy Hesselgren - RIP - 16th June 2000
 

Uhhk. I feel awful. I did another 3 pages on the design doc in one day. My brain hurts like rubbin' nutz on sand paper. You can really see me dying out towards the end with all the psycho bablly. It's a shame cos i wanted to give the Ball o doom a good pimpin'. It's going to require a leap of faith for it to succeed. Regarding my final comment on the design docs, just incase you didn't know, Holger Huck's the guy who did Unreal 4 Ever. He even got a job off the back of it at Crytek (the place that I got out of recently) and now he's chief weapon designer or something.

Only problem is, making a weapons mod like U4E and calling yuorself a "Weapons Designer" is like Painting a wall with vinyl gloss and calling yourself an artist. The kid doesn't have a clue.

Here's the entire contents (so far) of the design doc.

Start
Wall Running/Leperousy Integration
Limb Tech Ho-Down
DinoMunchin'
In with the old, out with the new. No! Wait!!

/me dies of exhaustion. God it's hot. Too hot.

> PainBerry.

 

 
"Oh God. Not Again." - Lowtax on "Feeders 2" - 15th June 2000
 

Went and did the SECOND damn page of the design doc. I know you guys are eating up this crap as fast as I can produce it so tommorrow I'll get on with page 3 of what's looking like a 6 page tomb (uhhg). Get chewing, ya damn faeclepheliacs.

> PainBerry.

 

 
Spasmodidic shufflings in the basement - 15th June 2000
 

By almost total co-incidence, the majority of MadLogic Leper Team was online yesserday. We ate popcorn and talked to girls, and I found our long lost mapper again: Dru - the guy who origianlly inspired the limb popping game genre.

I must have been drunk when I last spoke to Dru, because I cannot remeber him ever offering to do a map, but it turns out that he's already half way through one. And on top of that, it matches the 3D gameflow criteria I've been mumbling about.

Varli3 showed me some very cool shit he was planning to port onto this page. I cannot wait - it was beautiful stuff. Ahh. Yesterday was a great day. I feel like Mad Logic has about the best team we could hope for. If only I could code a little better, I'd almost feel worthy of being in this team. Calling myself a l33t game designer is all very well, but where's my raw skill? I think everyone thinks they could do game design, and I can understand their train of thought on this, but trust me, it ain't all "SHOOTS TEH MAN GET 3 KILL POINT SAND A MANA score up". There's a lot of other stuff involved in order to keep the gameplay fast, varied, ungimmicky and balanced. I'd still like to learn to code more - that way it would be easier for me to get my well defined vision of this game to the general public rather than having to nit pick at Lordy and Fear because they couldn't read my mind...

...The design doc should, however, help explain exactly what the targets are. The first page is a genral overview, so it's kind of vague, but it should give a good general overview of what to expect. Expect to see more of it (and possibly a completed version) by the end of the week. Please don't bitch to me if I accidentally smack your favourite mod down in the process of explaining what makes mods bad.

> PainBerry.

 

 
Time Flies When You Don't Update Your Page - 14th June 2000
 

I finished. At last. Exams over and done with. They weren't so bad either, and they might even come in useful*. Now I've got Leper Arena development, Mad Logic launching, PC Gamer UK employment (possibly), Wimbledon Arena (yes, a tennis mod :), SomethingAwful articles, H4x0|2 W4r3z designer fashion label, Mod Monkey (mod review/game design site) and ExeLan to look forward to.

I've been thinking out Leper Arena a LOT while trying to revise. I'll sit down to revise me notes, drink coke to keep me awake, but then all I can think about is shooting some legs off and running up walls. Yes, I need to get out more. I'm turning into some kind of John Carmack: "Man Machine" with my caffine ingestion. At some time I'll release myself from this caffine-saline-glocose intravenus drip. Until then, I'm going to be writing up the Leper Arena design document so that the whole team can figger out what's going on without me having to repeat myself over and over again.

I'm hoping Varli3, who's also coming out of the exam stint, will be able to php or cgi the Matrix, MadLogic and Leper pages, because as you can see, I'm no web designer. Every time I do a news update, the format changes. Heh. Fair enough. That's only 3 times then.

ExeLan should be pretty cool. They have a capacity of 120 at Exeter University where it's to be held, but I would expect them to get 40-50 PCs tops. See, I don't think that there ARE more than 60 or so PCs in the South west. Darn farmers shouting "What be thhaaat?" as you try find an eletrical outlet (and fail). If you feel like a LAN on Sunday 18th of June (9am - 12 midnight), get down to Exeter's "HyperActive" cybercafe (next to Exeter Central Station) to buy a ticket and you can meet me! And hurt me too!! I'll be the one in the L33t H4x0r Baseball cap. Gowan! You know you want to give me sum fist-punch justice.

Pixel Ghost (AKA Hoax) is forcing his way through exams also, but plans to learn the ins and outs of 3DS max, so it looks like our modeller position is covered. Lets just hope he doesn't have a natural tendancy to suck at modelling.

We're still in desperate need of mappers who are interested in making aesthetically pleasing maps which base themselves around 3D gameflow. Wall running is very important in this mod, since it's going to feel "natural", unlike pretty much every attempt at it before. The majority of default Q3a maps just aren't designed with this dimension of freedom of movement in mind. We need talent, but we won't force you into making specific maps. It'll be up to the mapper on what to map, but the new dimension of gameflow brings on the same problems as grapple hooks being overly useful, so maps have to be designed with these things in mind.

I've also been on the lookout for someone to do a Leper Arena sound track. I found this break beat track "CEM2 : New Stuff" (lofi) by Paul Cooper. We'll see what happens over permission closer the time, but any comments/suggestions for music are welcome. The criteria is:

A) Need an unfamous artist
B) Break Beat / Big Beat genre music (Moby, Chemical Brothers, Apollo 440 style).

C) No songs with "You've got to" or "c'mon girls!" or any references to computer games, swords of might, shit up niggaz etc. All these instantly make the music "popular" and thus must be disregarded on grounds of good taste.
D) The words "haleluja" and "pointy" will go down well.
E) Send us the link to a LEGAL song if you match the above criteria. No wavs please, you ass hole.

Happy Birthday John "Ding's Brother" Ingerslev. He got a l33t fold up incredibly comfortable chair for his birthday. All I got was a fuckin card from my sister about impotance or something. I mean, not even a BIRTHDAY CARD. Just a card about me being limp. Speaking of my sister, she's doing an autobiography or something. I'm kinda scared, cos she might remember I urinated in her basin when I was five. What she doesn't know is, I still do.

> PainBerry

*Useful for getting into a university. They have close to no other application. Uhhgh.

 

 
He may have no legs, but he'll still kick yo ass - 4th April 2000
 

Did a Little GFX update on the site in the form of the King of Lepers himself, Captain Torso. His legs didn't fit in the corner gif, so I removed them. Ahh. Lepers are soo versatile :).Sooner or later he'll get his own fan site (when I get a little more time). I have exams coming up so I'm trying my best to knuckle down on them. Pff, sha, right.

I'll get the captain torso skins up on the downloads page which is looking really rather sparse ATM. Torso's bodywork is gonna be partly chrome, and his viens are gonna pulse green - indication of contraction of the chamelionic leper desease, which reminds me... Hoax is getting together a rather splending flash intro. It basically tells you the Leper Quake story from day one - the Strogg war. Original screenplay by me, I might add. He's so far got some test effects going, but it's already looking mighty spiffy.

I was worried whether it would be possible to do the limb loss using only shaders... well it looks ok, BUT we're going to have to re-map a model, since there is only one arm skinned, and both the model's arms use this part of the skin (same with the legs). We'll be making a lot of new skins to comprimise. Most likely we'll do grunt and major, to keep with the Quake 2 almost theme.This is a bitch, cos it means we'll need a modeler after all. I must see if Pagan's got 3DSMax.

As soon as we get the new skin sorted, we'll put out instructions on what skins/shaders you need to use. It will be different from normal, which kinda blows, sure, but redoing EVERY model is gonna put the dev cycle up by a month or more. Plus the download would be orgasmically huge.

Game side, teeth will no longer be in there. Instead you'll just barge people, monty python style. They'll take loads of kick, and you'll grab a limb off them (you only do the barging when you have no arms). The HUD should be extra cool - if a LimbTech is in your view, it will highlight it in a box on the hud and tell you what it does. Pretty nifty, eh? In Limb Hunters mode, the limbs you shoot off an opponent while the opponent is still alive will be point limbs, which you collect (max of four) and take to the alter, which will be the other team's Flag in teamplay and any of the powerups in DM.

I'll get Varli3 on the forum. Because he is Ub3r l33t. There. I said it.

Coming soon: Leper Quake 2 T-Shirts!

> PainBerry

 

 
New Site Born - 23rd March 2000
 

Leper Quake gets a new, less makeshift site thanks to my incredible web site making skills. Well, ok, it's nothing special, but i'm not a web designer damnit! This place basically represents what I need from the page. If anyone has any problems with that, well, make me a new page :).

Design of Leper Quake 3 is well under way. It looks like we'll forget about Matrix 3 since, quite frankly, basing ourselves on a film is kinda restrictive, plus we get foxed, and ya don't want that.

We WILL however, be putting a hell of a lot more effort into LQ3. It will be a fucking world away from LQ2, which was after all just an experiment. Pagan is going to be incredibly helpful with his shader skills (depending on how much time he has to spare).

It also looks like we'll get full wall running support. I'm planning 2 styles: AvP style when you hold a bound key to run up a wall and around surfaces, and "Natural" mode where you'll simply walk into a wall to run up it, a lot like an Escher woodcut. Natural mode should really break some boundaries.

We'll also be having several play modes. We should be supporting CTF, Golden Limb (Catch the Chicken) and Limb Hunters (Head Hunters), as well as adding exceptional amounts of "Limb Techs" - runes in limb form which can be shot off pretty easily. You'll be able to carry 4 runes at a time - 2 arm runes and 2 leg runes. One of the more interesting ideas we haev is "Leg of Lag" - anyone in your view gets 100 extra ping. Hehehehe.

Losing an arm now means you'll lose any weapons you're not using, and you'll only be allowed 1 gun at a time. If you Pick up a gun with Auto Switch on, you'll drop the old weapon. It's a minor punishment for losing your gun - it was impossible to play with no arm in LQ2. This ought to work better.

Another change you'll notice is the lack of grapple when you have no legs. Instead you'll do Matrix Jump type things. How? Uh, Iguess you fart. <Groan>. Well who fuckin' cares anyway? I think the fart jump will make a welcome change to yet another grapple - combined with walking on any surface, it should work exceptionally well.

So we've basically got the design done on it. The only thing we'd want ssuggestions on are easy to do game modes (Domination with a leper twist?) and LimbTech (Rune) ideas. Post them on the forum.

> PainBerry