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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Harpy Berfday Tew MEEEEEE
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  It's mah birthday, it's mah birthday!!  Ok, so, not for a few more days, but I can celebrate all week, if I wanna!  Thus, here are some of my favorite questions from various guest hosts who have dropped by, over the years.  Have some cake! 

    Dear Graeme Devine
If John Carmack refereed a hot jello wrestling match between Hellchick and Mynx... who would win?

I think the jello would win because it's got the best reflection mapping, LOD bias, and heat conductivity.  Hellchick and Mynx may have the best curve code, but we did curves in Quake 3, so it's old news.

    Dear John Romero
I saw John Romero (formerly of id software, now Big Cheese at Ion Storm) in person recently and he has THE MOST glorious hair I have ever seen on a man!!  Now, I'm a woman, I have long hair, but it is *nowhere* near as glossy and healthy looking as his!  I feel like I should turn in my female species membership card for this, or something.  Anyway, I beseech you:  Can you worm any hair care tips out of John Romero?  I would KILL for hair like that!!

Hey, thanks for the compliment, it's not everyday that I get asked about my shiny hair secrets!  Okay, I've never told anyone my entire hair routine before, but if you follow my advice, you too can have glorious hair -- just like me! (j/k)

Here are the steps, in order:

(1) Shampoo hair (I use Finesse, sometimes Pantene) and make sure it lathers up good before rinsing.

(2) Rinse shampoo out of hair.

(3) Condition hair (use conditioner that's the same brand as the shampoo) and make sure you apply the conditioner at the ends first so they get the most amount of conditioner because with long hair, usually the ends are the most neglected.

(4) Wait 3 minutes.  I usually brush my teeth during this period. :)

(5) Completely rinse out all conditioner

(6) When you get out of the shower, towel-dry your hair as much as possible

(7) The next step is optional, but I sometime put a hair straightener in because my hair is naturally wavy.  I use Get It Straight (Sebastian).  Just a small amount that you apply to your waviest sections (I usually apply it near the ends).

(8) These last three steps are the most important ones in the whole routine and are what make all the difference: Blow-dry your hair until it's completely dry.  Don't half-dry your hair, you gotta go all the way.  I always flip my hair over in front of my face and look at the floor while using a brush and hair dryer to slowly dry all my hair.  Brushing downward while drying will help straighten your hair and completely drying it will make sure it doesn't kink up or curl up.

(9) When you're done drying, put your hair back in a ponytail holder for at least 5 minutes.  This allows all the hot air trapped in your hair to get out so your hair isn't too puffy.

(10) After 5 minutes or more you will still have a bunch of frizzy hair strands sticking up thanks to the magnetic field that was emanating from the hair dryer.  At this final step, I take my hair out of the ponytail holder, apply one drop of Laminates Drops (Sebastian) to one palm, rub the Laminates in a circular motion between my hands so they are both covered in it, then start applying it to the back of my head with both hands first because a lot of it will come off at first application and you don't want a bunch on the top of your head because it will look wet or greasy.  Rub it into your ends, then finally get back to the top of your head and rub it in and make sure you get the frizzy strands so they will lie down.  Keep rubbing it into your hair until your hands have no
more Laminates on them.  Wash your hands, brush your hair and you're done!

Here's a link to Sebastian Hair Products:http://www.zhair.com/sebastian.html#anchor440690. 

   Dear Tycho
Helpme I think I am in love with John Romero.  Wtf do I DO? :(


Shoot yourself.

   Dear Killcreek
mynx mynx mynx... just the name alone makes me shivver at the sound of a goddess, omniknowledgable and omniintelligent...

allright, before i swallow my food, i just want to ask you one silly little question.. i know most people ask you about sex, and geeks, and sex and geeks, and maybe geeks and sex, and of course quake... but i want to ask you about HICKIES.... whats a hickey???? what happenes when someone gives someone a hickey??? its bugging me very much please tell me what it is :((

hickˇey, n., pl. hickˇeys. Informal 2. a. A reddish mark on the skin caused by kissing, biting, or sucking, as in lovemaking.

My friend, a hickey is one of those neat little red marks that show up on one's skin after a round of what your parents might call "necking." Most often you will notice these red/purple spots on the necks of your eager classmates. The long and short of it is that a hickey occurs when the sucker sucks hard enough on the suckee's skin to break some of the tiny blood vessels below the surface. Although the neck is most visible hickey habitat, they have been known to migrate to the lower nether-regions and inner thighs. I like to think of them as a nice little tag that says "taken" to anyone who might think of sucking on my target!

   Dear Paul Steed
K, I have a gf. We kiss, fondle, share wonderful moments of laughter etc.. Yep that's it. I'm very sexually deprived, I'm a virgin (17 yr old). I'm going completely insane. I mean she really turns me on and i want to give her some sweet loving from the center of my manlyhood. The problem is, I can't do it! How do you start? When do u make the move?!? What the hell is a notion for wanting sex?? I need to know, also, I want to know if your a hottie? cuz we can hook up :))

You are 17 years old and haven't gotten laid yet?  What the hell is wrong with you?  Seriously.  How can you be depraved of something you know nothing about?  I admit I started at a really early age, but I always liked girls (never went through perplexing 'cooties' phase of boyhood...always dug chicks).

Your brain and body are one big hormone factory and you just need to chill a bit and understand the female psyche a little.  If indeed you're fondling and kissing and laughing like mad around each other...it's just a matter of time before you're dipping the stick, sheathing the ole pork sword, and impaling her with your 'manlyhood'.  Girls need to work up to it more slowly.  The more you attempt to rush her the longer it's gonna be (unless you start dating that real easy girl you keep eyeing in study hall...)

A man's libido (aka sex drive) is turned on and going strong in the time it takes a synapse in your brain to dump a couple gallons of blood into the tool.  It's been written somewhere that a man thinks about sex 90% of his waking moments.  Thought however, in the conventional sense has nothing to do with this process...hence the term 'head' for the penis.  It's not some huge secret many men use the wrong head to make many of their life's decision.  Rarely does it HAVE to involve emotions.  Women on the other hand need emotional stimuli as well as a pair of firm naked buttocks in their hands.  Appeal to that side of her first and the other stuff will come...er so to speak.

In other words girls need to feel you listen to what they have to say, care about what they buy, and LOVE them before they're willing to put out (well, that is MOST girls).  She obviously cares for you and knows what you want.  I'd suggest sometime over luvvy duvvy you nuzzle her neck a little and whisper a polite request in her ear like "Hey, Baby.  You know how much I love you.  When do you think you'll be ready for us to get naked?  I know you're the one I want to be the first..."  Or you can just try seeing if she wants a scented oil body rub.  Start with her toes and work your way up slowly...she'll be wrapping her legs around your waist in no time.

Just remember that 'easy come, easy go' relates to this kind of situation.  Go slow, be confident and when the time comes...repeat after me "No Glove...No Love."  Got me?  Good.

   Dear efnet #quake
I had to take a cross country flight and while I was at the airport I poked around the bookstore hoping to find something. I came across the new Thomas Harris novel, Hannibal, in the best seller section. The cover-art was pretty cool so I pick it up and looked at it. It's about the continuing saga of Dr Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs. It was a great book and it took me only 5 days to read it. But the problem is I seem to have been brainwashed perhaps by Hannibal's enjoyment of cannibalism. I would actually like to try eating human flesh and perhaps a liver (with fava beans of course) What Should I do? No one sells "human" in the deli section in the supermarkets.

RevZOOT: you can mail order that stuff
RevZOOT: customs are a bitch though
mynx: I'm pretty sure it's not illegal to cut yourself up though, is it?
CheezH: um... maybe if someone donated their body to science and he ate it in the name of science?
mynx: like, you could take a flank outta your side and survive
dg-: professional help, or at least read a nice book on veganism and see if he isnt just too influenced by literature :P
CheezH: maybe that's what happened to those quadruple amputee guys
DemonEatr: nobody with half a brain should ever have been influenced by this total PIECE OF CRAP of a book. It's the worst novel I've read since the DOOM books.
RevZOOT: GET BACK HERE, I'LL BITE YER LEGS OFF
RevZOOT: i might suggest the morgue
RevZOOT: take genitals. dip in water. freeze. eat your Testicles.
mynx: Hey, now that you mention it, there is some website out there with a guy removing his own testicles and eating them
RevZOOT: you can only do that twice
CheezH: darwin
CheezH: that's all I have to say about that
dg-: certainly. I dont wish to work at Mc Donalds, or worse yet be served there.
mynx: there are some logistical problems with the morgue
mynx: shouldn't we be just saying NO
mynx: PLEASE TO NOT BE EATING MY FLESH
mynx: unless otherwise specified
RevZOOT: #quake is one place you can ask for cannibalistic dinner suggestions and ... get them
 


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