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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Back for MORE!
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week:  Back, by popular demand: an all new Dear efnet #quake!

    Bodygasms!
Okay, i've got this odd problem that isn't really all that life  affecting, it's just somewhat embarrassing.  Okay, here goes.  I've not-so-recently starting have sex with this girl.  It seems that a lot of the time when i climax i seem to lose ALL muscle control.  It's like i'll try to support myself when were are in the missionary position but to no avail.  I seem to just lose control of the muscles in my arms.  It's like when trying to bench press a lot of wieght and you arms start giving out on you.  It happens all over my body.  In "doggie-style" it isn't so bad, but every once in a while it'll happen too, where i almost fall over.  Now, she is the first girl i have had sex with without a condomn(the pill is great).  But it happens with condomns on as well.  Also, in the midst of an orgasm do folks usually keep 'thrusting', i do, that could be the problem.  anyway, HELP ME.


(garotte) Try not to look for a dead fish. Aim for the pillow.
(mynx) i don't usually mind being collapsed on, it's not that bad
(grindking) it's cuz he wants to sound like a mad lover
(garotte) Unless you are covered in sweat, jism, and cheese, it's not too bad if you pass out on her. (mynx) mmm cheese
(Daelin) That's not at all bad. Over time you'll probably get more muscle control, but unconcsious pelvic motion is part of an orgasm (look it up in the dictionary)
(Daelin) Also, sex without a condom is great :)
(mynx) yes, but naughty
(Daelin) *nod*
(grindking) not naughty
(grindking) good
(pavedroad) maybe if she tied him up he wouldn't fall over ;)
(mynx) that is a worthwhile point :P 

  Blasphemy!
er... is it normal to find hunter more attractive than mynx?

(garotte) Mynx, hunter like that guy on tv?
(mynx) no, but now that you mention it, meow, he is sexy :P
(garotte) I'm thinking of Lorenzo Llamas, dunno who Hunter is.
(grindking) i dunno who he is
(mynx) he's enormous, like 6 foot 5
(mynx) but no, they mean hunter, the bot
(mynx) as opposed to mynx, the bot
(Daelin) I find Crash to be more attractive than mynx, personally
(mynx) and you claim to love me
(garotte) Um, how can either bot be sexy when the odds of having sex with either is a million to one? (mynx) silentbob: sexor: hunter bot or mynx bot?
(S|lentBob) mynx: hmm, how badly might I be hurt? :P
(mynx) S|lentBob: pretty badly.
(S|lentBob) mynx
(S|lentBob) it's purely the attire
(mynx) good boy.
(Daelin) Well.. I've never seen you with a space helmet on

   Puff Daddy's Puffies
First of , I know my English is bad and I didn't know any other way to start ( + sucking up is always a good start :). I'm a perfectly normal 16 year old guy exept for one thing, my nipples.  Since about a year I noticed I have puffy nipples. I know some girls have this but I never saw it on any men , and I'm really embaressed about it. I did some searching and I found it sometimes happens too people who do drugs and stuff. And that you can have it removed if you have a woman lik chest too. I've been thinking about just piercing them with a needle.  What my question is, since I don't have a larger chest. Can I just pierce them and let the fluid run out and let it grow shut like an earring or something. Since we have swimming in school next week I'm affraid I can't hide it anymore. Please help me Mynx. You are my last hope, and since I haven't got the courage to tell it too my parents or anyone and I'm not old or brave enough to talk to a doctor. Even talking to you anonymously took some convincing of myself.  Save me from being a social outkast.


(garotte) Dude, you need to get a gymnoplastia. That's plastic surgery for removing all that mammary fat, so you don't end up having manboobz.
(mynx) gibbler, how did you solve this problem? :P
(DemonEatr) mynx: artificial nipples are always an option. They're shiny, too!
(gibbler) mynx: what, having big nipples?
(gibbler) i got my nose enlarged, nobody noticed after that
(mynx) everyone in my family has big nipples
(mynx) my poor little baby cousin inherited them even
(mynx) he's this little tiny dude with puffies
(garotte) He's probably got higher than normal levels of estrogen leading to some breast tissue. He'll end up with boobz that kid.
(mynx) well, i'm not so sure it's boobz, just nipples
(Daelin) Puffy nipples are good! There's probably something subconcious about puffy nipples being better to grab onto, thus physicially better at being a mother, but nipples are like.. the thing. More than big breasts (just barely) a nice nipple will turn heads and make guys just wanna go "Grr!" and..
(garotte) Mynx, all the more reason to see a doctor, before he poses in manboob magazine. (Daelin) And piered nipples suck (in the bad way) hard
(SpoonMaN-) whys that
(mynx) mmm manboob
(pavedroad) maybe if he got enough nipplerings, it would cover up the nipples
(garotte) All men should have nipple piercings. They will look all cute!
(Daelin) (nerve loss, dead skin, other sources of cheese...)
(mynx) i say again, mmm cheese 

   No Wang-Eye Connection
i heard from a friend that masturbating can cause blindness or something... can it really do something like that?

(grindking) hahaha
(grindking) i hate that myth
(mynx)
obviously we all still have our sight :P
(garotte) Masturbation is good. Masurbation often, but don't neglect your asshole. It needs love too.
*mynx eyes garotte
(Zanshin) garotte: I love myself. So, done, and ... done.
(DemonEatr) mynx: Yes. it's all true. just whack off until you need glasses.
(S|lentBob) mynx: sure it can, but close your eyes and you shouldn't have a problem :P
(Serfer) ahahah, in sex ed in school, they were going through all the myths of masturbation, and the teacher says like, "other myths include having sticky hands" and all the men in the room are like, uhm, hmm, that one's true....
(garotte) I should submit my last eye-exam. I'm getting close to legally blind.
(Daelin) There should be a study to prove that jizz, while being full of healthy protiens and vitamins, actually has more benefit to your eyes that stuff in those eyedrops that that time machine in 1976 needed
(Belhade) Serfer: only if you spew into your hands
(mynx) i put breastmilk in the kids' eyes :P
(Belhade) which is nasty
(mynx) but uh baby batter in the eyes hurts :P
(Zanshin) nothing like a nice jizzy sting in your eye
(Daelin) Hairy palms on the other hand...
(garotte) Sometimes dictionary entries are so pithy. "Sexual stimulation or gratification of the self. " http://www.graylab.ac.uk/cgi-bin/omd?query=masturbation
(Belhade) I do not have hairy palms, and I often jack it twice a day
(Belhade) therefore
(Belhade) bogus
(garotte) maybe getting keys stuck together is a normal side efffect
(garotte) Playing with Pontius Pilates Pepperoni Pole?
(Daelin) Anyway, just to set the record staight; the only thing masturbation can give you is a case of skin rash (from doing it too much), temporary loss of sensitivity, and a possible case of Embarressing Circumstance (a terminal disease in many parts of the galaxy.)
 

   Boys Love Wookies
Out of curiosity, when does the average male's penis actually stop growing and reach it's maximum... Potential.  Is it 14 or 15?  Or do you still have some ways to go at that age?   Maybe 17?  Thanks!

(grindking) mynx; that totally depends on the person
(mynx) doesn't one continue growing until about 25?
(mynx) on average?
(garotte) Although I imagine finding the study proving that wlil be hard to prove with typical college students, and there...oh-so-frequent sex habits.
(Belhade) generally "early twenties"
(SpoonMaN-) i know it doesnt stop at 14-15
(Serfer) mynx: i think growth pretty much stops by 19 or so
(mynx) when was the last time you guys measured?
(Belhade) mynx, probably about a year ago
(Serfer) it's not like your penis keeps growing though, it doesn't get noticably larger after 15 or so...
(mynx) i was just wondering if any of you measured, like, a few years ago, if you could measure again and see :P
(garotte) Maybe it's not fair to masturabate before going to doctor so you get bigger numbers. (Belhade) I'll look for a ruler
(Daelin) Penis size.. I'm pretty big at 18 and still growing. I think most guys are through with pubic penis growth around 22, but it slows for most around 18. Like penis size, your body never stops growing or changing, and it's up to you to keep it up. It just seems to stop in comparison to your pubic growing spurts (in height, not distance).
(Serfer) i measure hourly
(Belhade) mynx, I've been almost exactly 6" since I was 19 I thin
(mynx) i bet it LOOKS about 8 though
(mynx) skinny guys always look like they have enormous wangs
(Serfer) i've been a little over 7" since i was 16, but i'm only 18 now... so not terribly scientific (SpoonMaN-) im 29 inches
(garotte) enormous wangs are good.

   Booty Call!
Help me, mynxykenobie, ur my only hope!  I did something bad I put a uh something in my bottom, hoping for that prostate thing I have herd about.  Now I cant get it out and I think it is stuck, but I haven't tried to go to the bathroom.  wtf do i do??

(gibbler) *mrfl*
(garotte) Call a proctologist and tell the truth. Anal removals are so complicated by moving parts.
(Daelin) hahahaha, someone took RoadTrip too seriously
(Serfer) that dude should just poop, unless he put something sharp up there, in which case his disembowelment would be a benefit to mankind
(mynx) i'm thinking dookie,
(mynx) dookie is a good idea
(mynx) i mean, so long as he put, like, a jellybean or a potato up there or something
(mynx) and not a fork
(Serfer) i'm thinking dookie is a dumb word
(Serfer) mynx: that's exactly what i said
(Daelin) I don't know WHAT you put up your butt, hopefully you used a condom.. if you did, or the object isn't dangerously sharp, poop it out. If you are having trouble, I recommend a Fleet mineral oil enema to soften and lube things up
(mynx) daelin knows lube
(Zanshin) mmmm, enema
(Daelin) Don't strain though, DO NOT STRAIN. If you can't get it out, see a doctor.


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