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Dear
Mynx

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    PlanetQuake | Features | Dear Mynx | Chitty chitty bang bang!
   

Got problems with your girlfriend because she can't take your constant Quake playing? Are you finding yourself just a little too attracted to the game models? Then talk to Mynx and she'll sort it all out for you!

This Week: Yadda yadda.

 

  Stuff

Bare with me here, this is pretty long, I'll try and get straight to the point here. I am a very sexually active person. I started 'yankin' around the third grade, and now I'm 18 years of age. Sometimes I do it five times a day or so. Don't get me wrong, I have sex with my girlfriend, but it just seems I have this limitless appetite for it. My first real girlfriend I had...we started having sex after 2 weeks. I know that she's a slut now, but with my current girlfriend (she's not a slut)...the same thing happened. I wanted to wait...but things just escalated...which I really didn't mind. I guess I havent gotten to the point yet, lol. What I'm trying to ask you is, "Why am I like this?" I can stop for several weeks if I really try, and I make a gigantic 'cum' back so to speak when I start up again...should I try to limit myself here? I've heard of girls being nympho's...I'm starting to think I am...even though I am a guy (yes I know guys can be nympho's...it's just not as common). Also, is there any meek way to ask my girlfriend, to shave some more down south? She's pretty tidy down there, but it still poses a minor problem. To add even more to the fun, I proposed making our own little video, she told me that if we did, that she wouldn't watch it. So is that a "go-ahead," or "hell no!" Or it could just be what she said... Thanks for the help. Oh yes, I found this "Dear Mynx" column quite by accident while working on a design for my company. But it is now my start-up page.

Well, you have many things at work, here, m'dear. First of all, at your age, your degree of sexual appetite is perfectly normal. You are a randy young man, as well you should be. Enjoy it while you have it, because honey, it ain't gunna last. One day you'll look down at your poor old sleepy wang and wish for these days. I also must correct you - there seems to be some myth that there are all these nymphette chicks running amok in the world. Not the case. That is a fantasy invented by men to give themselves reason to live. Anyway, back to your sex drive.. you're like this because you're a guy. End of story.

Shaving. Just ask. Worst she could do is say no. "Honey, I want you to shave your bean, k?" Easy as, well, pie.

She wouldn't want to watch your home-grown pron video because she wouldn't want to look at herself naked. She may have a lovely body and be a gorgeous girl, but all she'll see is cellulite and sags. This is a girl thing. Just accept it. Glad you enjoy the column, homecut.

 

  Shlongumps

Like everyone who e-mails you, I've got a problem. See, I have these weirdo little bumps on my shlong. I can't really notice them till I'm popping stiffy. I've tried a bunch of things to try and help them. I've tried cortizone and some pimple stuff. The pimple stuff helped a little, but not very much. It isn't an allergic reaction or anything, and I know I don't have diseases, because I've never had sex. Can you please help me, because I've tried almost everything... btw, I love reading your column. You are the best.

Probably, these are what are known as papilla coronis. These are defined as: Any of the small white points of hardened mucous membrane along the corona glandis in some intact men. In circumcised men they are usually lost among the general keratinisation. They are perfectly normal, but sometimes alarm their owner when he first discovers them. (L= little nipple of the corona, pl. papillae coronis). Just leave them alone, don't try to squeeze them or gnaw them off or something. They aren't going to hurt you or anyone else. Just think of them as.. uh.. speedbumps!

 

  Don't Talk With Your Mouth Full!

I have a question, do women enjoy giving blow jobs? I sure wouldn't want to suck someone's dick. I am not one to turn down a bj (if it is done by a female) but I was just wondering, do you gals like sucking down the meat? Oh, and Mynx, there is something I must confess to you, I have this fantasy with bumping uglies with you. I guess it is a fascination with something I cant have (sigh). Oh, that dude in the previous article is an asshole, you are the best source of help on the net, just thought I should tell you, I LOVE YOU MYNX!

I love you too, gentle reader, like Romero loves nachos. Blowjobs? Everyone likes blowjobs. You probably don't like the thought of eating manprod because it is likely you yourself are a man. This is Good(tm). You will never bump my ugly. Well, yours is ugly. Mine isn't. But that's beside the point.

 

  Godly Women

Hey mynx, I read your article every week, and I dig quite a bit of your advice. So my question is, I'm a Christian guy, and I'm wondering, is there any graceful way to go about asking a girl her religious beliefs? It's really important to me, so any advice you have would be good.

Well, first of all, you should try trolling for chicks in Christian type places. Church, church related activities, I'm guessing. I don't know much about that sort of thing. When you find a girl you think might be your kind, you should let her know of your faith, and ask her about hers. It is pointless to embark on a relationship with someone without first finding out which way they swing, in all senses of the phrase, namsayn? Just tell her what you told me.. that faith is really important to you, and then ask where she stands on the whole God thing. Piece o' cake.

 

  Dongs

I've read your column for a while now (mostly to marvel at other people's troubles), and I've noticed you've got a pretty strong bias against circumcision. I would be willing to bet that your husband isn't circumcised and this has led to this opinion of yours. Hey, that's your right to prefer an Aryan penis, but remember that there are also arguments in favor of it, both medically and esthetically. I'm not saying which way is right, but most guys don't have much of a choice in the matter (surgery aside), so your opinions on this are kind of irrelevant and maybe you should think about who you're trying to help. btw, my wife thinks uncircumsized penises are pretty nasty, so I can appreciate your loyalty.

Ah, but (forgive me, Mental) he IS! The neat thing about this column is that my opinion isn't irrelevant! It is my column! Muahah! The stodgy old AAP came out a couple years ago stating that there is no medical necessity for circumcision. Neener neener! I maintain that it is cosmetic surgery, a pointless mutilation better left to the individual to decide. You are right that most guys don't have a choice in the matter.. but they will, if they ever have kids. Just maybe, one or two readers out there have stopped to ponder their own schmekkies in more than just a "woah.. I can make it spit!" way; hopefully they won't continue that barbaric "tradition" on their own kids. Oh, and in case I haven't said so lately.. penises are way cool. Just.. thought I'd mention that.

 

  Um... Yeah.

They are watching, always watching

Beware the small grey poodle

Yes. YES!!! Finally, someone understands.

 


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