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The PQ
Poll

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    PlanetQuake | The PQ Poll | This Week's Poll
   

The PQ Poll: January 12, 2000
Got poll questions you think we should use? Email them to poll@planetquake.com!



Which of these powerups would you like in Q3:A? (submitted by Zionic)

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Lag Bomb: every enemy will have 500 added to their ping by the server
688
34.5%
LSD: whatever weapon you have selected will have a random effect each time.
435
21.8%
The Jeff K. Power-Up: you will be surrounded by a lot of multicolored lighting and will get 2 frags for each kill, with an autoresponse for each one that says, "U SUK"
434
21.8%
Omnipotence: you cannot be damaged, and anyone you hit will be kicked from the server.
432
21.7%

Fragmaster: Impotence: once you're down, you can't get back up.
Fargo: The "InstaCamp" would be cool. When you get the powerup, you suddenly can't move more than a couple feet in either direction, but all kinds of cool stuff respawns around you.
Pappy-R: Can I get a combination here? Lag Bomb w/ Jeff K insult.
Lee'Mon: Ever play Wild 9? I'd like to be able to pick opponents up and smack them around the walls...
Hellchick: The Homing Powerup: whoever picks it up is suddenly the target of all the ammo flying around the map at that moment. [cackles with glee]
shaithis: I want a powerup that makes it so when you hold the button, you cycle through one shot of each weapon. That'd be interesting.

Spyke: I'd want the "Flasher" powerup. When you came into a player's view, your model would flash them, distracting them enough for you to make the easy kill.


The most obnoxious thing one's team mates can do to you when you have the enemy flag less than twenty yards from your own heavily fortified base is: (submitted by KALED)

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
in an attempt to pick off any tails you might have, fire a rocket at your feet, catapulting you into the fog of death.
474
24.2%
camp the red armor in your base after you have spammed "need escort" throughout your heavily tailed flight, while you're at 6 health.
229
11.7%
stand directly in your way
574
29.4%
call you a cheating lamer after following you for three minutes, hitting you with mutiple rail shots, rockets, and plasma bursts, and doing you no damage, all because they saw the opposing color.
389
19.9%
take the good weapons, not noticing that you just used most of your ammo to get the flag and are now down to your gauntlet.
286
14.6%

Fragmaster: Jumping on your back, grabbing your hair, and asking for a piggyback ride to the enemy base.
Fargo: Dude, these answers read like my CTF strategy guide. Weird.
Pappy-R: All of the above. Oh the pain!
Lee'Mon: Using my previous answer's powerup to pick you up and smack you around the walls...
Hellchick: Stop and say, "Hey, look, isn't that your tombstone, Hellchick?"
shaithis: Sit around and stare stupidly as you're brutally slaughtered by the enemy. Bastards!

Spyke: Stand directly in my way. Lord knows Hellchick's done this enough when we play CTF. And Lee'Mon just sits there and taunts, until I end up killing myself by blasting him for the hell of it.


You are hired to write a really bad porn Q3A flick. Which of the following titles would you use? (|ND|Usurper)

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Splash Damage
840
43.4%
In The Wrong Place
221
11.4%
Boom Stick
616
31.8%
Debbie Does Q3A
256
13.2%

Fragmaster: Shit, that'd be awesome! I'd call it "Quad Whores."
Fargo: [Can't comment, is laughing too hard.]
Pappy-R: Definately "Splash Damage", dunno if there would be Quad though.
Lee'Mon: "The Longest Yardstick."
Hellchick: "Splash Damage" gets my vote, only because any title I come up with really shouldn't be printed here as it would sound an awful lot like the list in the movie "Clerks".
shaithis: "The Place of Many Little Deaths" (note: this is only funny if you get the joke).

Spyke: "Splash Damage" by default. I can't think of anything funny. I currently have Humorist's Block. Help.


What did you think of the 02/27/00 X-Files episode? (submitted by Fender)

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
I Didn't see it. I heard the chick was hot, though.
501
25.8%
Good. That hot chick made up for the dumb story.
105
5.4%
Bad. Hot chicks will only get you so far.
68
3.5%
Absolutely terrible. I'm female or gay.
23
1.1%
Awesome. That hot chick made up for the dumb story.
139
7.1%
Average. That chick was hot, though.
169
8.7%
Sucked. Hot chicks will only get you so far.
178
9.1%
I didn't watch it.
753
38.8%

Fragmaster: Television bites ass. Except for Iron Chef on the Food Network, that RULES! Oh yeah, and A-Team too.
Fargo: I woulda liked it if the hot chick starred in the Quake porno movie from the last question.
Pappy-R: What URL is that?
Lee'Mon: Quite possibly the worst X-Files episode of all time. I hope it stands as a big scarlet "A" on the records of all those involved in its creation. Sorry, folks, it takes more than a Lara Croft/Rynn wannabe to get me past the gaming stereotypes...
Hellchick: It sucked, and Chris Carter or whoever wrote that episode should be forced to play Wild Wild West for all eternity.
shaithis: I have watched five episodes of the X-files in my entire life. All of them sucked. I'm assuming the rest of the series is the same.

Spyke: I saw about 20 seconds of it, and I must say the chick was hot. She had some high-poly action going there; she looked like a Paul Steed creation. I haven't watched X-Files for 2 years now, so I really can't comment. I watch wrestling!


The worst thing that can happen to you when in 2nd, one frag behind #1, the one minute warning having sounded, and you just got a quad, a regen, a haste, the bfg, 100 ammo for it, a superhealth and 200 armor is: (submitted by KALED)

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
getting that cute little oh-no-someone-unplugged-my-modem "connection interrupted" icon.
504
26%
showing off your strafe jumping skills straight into oblivion.
433
22.3%
waking up.
544
28%
coming to the sinking realization that Ex-Lax(tm) is not, in fact, a new kind of candy.
143
7.3%
getting railed by five bot-weilding whores who can now see your blue-glowing, red-flashing, smoke-trailing ass from three arenas away.
312
16.1%

Fragmaster: Getting shot in the back of the head by a robber who snuck into the house while you were snorting away, happily engrossed in a game of Q3:A. Yeah, you could have bought a security system, but why spend money on that when you could get a faster videocard and a bigger harddrive? Oh well, now you're dead. Dumbass.
Fargo: I can't really say, I've never NOT been in first place the entire time. [Pause.] Okay, that was a boldface lie.
Pappy-R: Or you forgot that you left ICQ on and a file transfer you forgot about FINALLY kicks in.
Lee'Mon: In your jubilation, you kick the reset button on your machine.
Hellchick: Turn my head to yell out to Sludge_666, "Hey! Check it out! I'm the best play-" and then get it in the head with a shotgun blast because I wasn't looking.
shaithis: This may be the most contrived PQ poll question I've ever seen. And remember... I used to get all of the submissions.
Spyke: My little brother storming in and saying "It's my turn on the computer now!", and not being able to argue with him, because my parents side with him. Dammit, it's my computer!


How many players on a server do you think are needed for one helluva game? (submitted by |ND|Usurper)

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
2 - 4 players. I like forcing a specific player to suck my...rocket launcher. Yes, that's it.
243
12.7%
13 - 20 players. Just enough chaos to keep my adrenaline pumping for hours on end.
346
18.1%
5 - 12 players. Not too many but not too few players. Just right for an enjoyable game.
1084
56.7%
21 - 40 players. I want more players on the server than I do rockets at any one time!
237
12.4%

Fragmaster: 7 is always the right answer.
Fargo: Yeah, about six people in a mid-sized map. Always keep you fighting. Yes. YES!
Pappy-R: A minimum of 4 and a maximum of 10. A real kick ass game would be and 9 newbies. mmmm...newbies
Lee'Mon: Approximately four players for every keg brought in to the arena.
Hellchick: I like a lot of players, like 40, only because I require many bodies in one room so I can shoot rockets at random and look like I'm l33t.
shaithis: A game with less than eight people is not a game. It's the epitomy of boredom.

Spyke: A good 20 player fragfest is helluva fun. The more people I can pw33n, the better!


What is your favorite Quake3 Power-Up? (submitted by Soul Colossus[ICP])

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Battle Suit: I am God...for about 15 more seconds. Bow to me, bitch, before it runs out.
220
11.5%
Haste: Helm, lay in a course for Q3DM17, warp factor 9. Engage.
283
14.8%
Quad Damage: 1 0wnz j00, j00 m0mm4, 4nd j00 m0mm4'z m0mm4.
705
36.8%
Medkit: Just like heroin, it's addictive and makes you feel really good.
61
3.1%
Flight: I believe I can fly-y-y, I believe I can touch the sky...
110
5.7%
MegaHealth: Bah! One shot from a railgun can't take me out now...no, no! Not a BFG!!
92
4.8%
Regeneration: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!
266
13.9%
Personal Teleporter: Beam me up, Scottie!
175
9.1%

Fragmaster: A TNT 2 card.
Fargo: I kinda like the flight. I feel like I'm playing Descent all of a sudden, or that I'm in observer mode but with rockets...
Pappy-R: Gotta be Haste, so that even if I get killed at 90 MPH, my body will be out of sight when it lands.
Lee'Mon: Battle Suit. "Who's your daddy?!? Who's your daddy?!?" [Battle Suit begins wearing off] "... [censored by order of PQ Censors Commission]"
Hellchick: Definitely haste. I like to BLEED rockets.
shaithis: Why, I believe the Excessive mod is my favorite powerup. I'm sorry, I tried to resist plugging it this week, but it's JUST TOO STRONG! EAAARRRRAAAGGHHH!!
Spyke: QUAD! |\|0, ! 0\/\/|\|z j00!!!

 


Who are these people anyway?

Hellchick is the PQ Site Director, or at least has convinced her friends that she is.
Pappy-R is PQ's News Jockey and Part-time Table Dancer.
Spyke does the PQ in Review, the PQ Mailbag, and your girlfriend.
Lee'Mon writes articles and editorials for PQ, which means he's really into finding things to complain about.
shaithis is a former PQ Site Director who now spends his days running GameSpy.com and sharpening the spikes on the top of his cubicle. You think we're kidding.
Fragmaster also used to run PQ, and now manages ClassicGaming.com and the console section of the GameSpy network. He also enjoys the occasional potted tuna.

 


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