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Week In
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    PQ | Features| PQ Poll | November 3, 1999
   

Week of November 3rd, 1999

Poll Results Outputted

What is the primary reason you want/have a high bandwidth Internet connection?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Porn
371
13.2%
MP3s
202
7.2%
Warez
248
8.8%
Online Gaming
1759
62.7%
Work
58
2%
Other
164
5.8%

Mix: Someday soon I hope to inject my life force into the net itself.... and become UberMix! Ruler of the dark cyber underbelly! ....or watch cheesy quicktimes. It really doesn't matter.
Fargo: Why wasn't random chat ICQ on this list?
radium: Because it's much better than a slow one.
Fragmaster: Other. All I do on the Internet is comment on polls. This one represents harmony.
Hellchick: I'm sticking with "online gaming", even though porn is the real reason. Oops...I said that out loud again, didn't I?

Why does the Quad Damage Rune in Q3:A only make you deal triple the normal damage instead of 4 times?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Because the Quad is too abusive in DM.
509
18.1%
Because the Quad makes DM too fun.
178
6.3%
Because id Software can't perform simple math.
995
35.4%
Who needs the Quad? I can take anybody on with my l33t DM sk1llz.
444
15.8%
The Quad only makes you deal triple damage? WTF?
413
14.7%
Quad what?
10
0.3%
What's Q3:A?
39
1.3%
Who am I?
215
7.6%

Mix: "Because it's a pill that gives worms to ex-girlfriends! Duh!"
Fargo: Latin Prefixes weren't exactly id's strongpoint
radium: Because the prefix "quad" was recently changed to mean three.
Fragmaster: Because Q3:A was developed on a 3-bit videogame system, and can't use anything that involves a number above 3.
Hellchick: Five years of Latin, and all I can remember is Ceasar saying, "Omnia Gallia est divisia in tres partes." Which is Latin for, "I 0wn j00, Gaul!"

Are you sick of Americans assuming that the US is the only country in the world (especially on PQ poll questions)?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Yes I am.
1303
46.7%
No - I am American and I love award shows and "real life" TV.
200
7.1%
No - America is the only real country in the world, baby! Except Canada, which is a peninsula or something I think.
1286
46.1%

Mix: Where's my big foam finger when I need it?
Fargo: Life in America is great. Except for the beer. And those damn puritans.
radium: Fragmaster is from Turkey.
Fragmaster: HELLO I USE HOT DOG ON AMERICAN ONLINE GOD BLESS APPLE PIE
Hellchick: C'mon; we invented "World's Scariest Porn Movie Bloopers That Attack 3", or, umm, something like that. We rule!

John Carmack and John Romero play a 1 on 1 game of Q3:A. Who wins?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
John.
632
22.5%
John.
363
12.9%
The other John.
836
29.8%
We, the public!
967
34.5%

Mix: It's a tie. Romero was too bust admiring himself in the monitor screen, and Carmack had a small seizure, then coded Trinity in his head.
Fargo: Romero would be picking rockets out of his hair for weeks.
radium: His horse.
Fragmaster: A wall texture named Harold.
Hellchick: Neither. It all ends in bloodshed. Horrible, horrible bloodshed. Or at least, one could hope.

Which game had the best SINGLE PLAYER levels for Deathmatching and Capture the Flag?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Quake 1, Midevil Mazes
569
20.5%
Quake 2, the Stroggos Stomping Grounds
535
19.2%
Quake 1 for DM, Quake 2 for CTF
382
13.7%
Quake 1 for CTF, Quake 2 for DM
242
8.7%
Single Player? Whaa?
1046
37.7%

Mix: Quake 1. Period.
Fargo: Quake 1 just had fun levels, period. For anything.
radium: Half-Life!
Fragmaster: SiN, J.C. Blows The Big One In The Pit of Despair
Hellchick: single...player...I know what those two words mean individually, but...

What music would you like in Q3:A?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
Slayer - "Camping south of heaven"
375
13.4%
Prodigy - "Smack my bot up"
794
28.5%
Madonna's smash hit - "Beautiful Quaker"
89
3.2%
Does anybody remember "Every Frag I make, every Death I fake, Every game I quake, I'll be fragging you"?
510
18.3%
Music is just for people with fast machines (not my 486 Dx2)!
176
6.3%
Nope. No music. I hate music. Kill everybody who has ever turned on the CD option in Q2!
834
30%

Mix: STOP THE BURNING!
Fargo: Just a 2-hour sound effect of Tori Amos screaming and banging on a piano, with the sound of burning trees in the background.
radium: Disco. It's making a come back, and I WILL be part of it.
Fragmaster: Showtunes. "The maps are alivvvvveeeeeeee... with the bleats of llammaassssssss....." Or something dumb and unfunny like that.
Hellchick: "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong. Though I back Fargo up on the Tori Amos comment.

What will you do when Q3:A comes finally into the stores?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
I'll be going into the store, buying the game, playing till I puke, then going sleep and repeating it all again the next morning!
1175
42.1%
I'll buy it and then complain about all the "new" features like not having a grapple.
278
9.9%
I'll go out and grab it, maybe play a few games that weekend.
297
10.6%
I'll buy it if I see it in a store, but I'm not going out of my way to get it.
434
15.5%
I've got some mental defect and I won't buy it at all.
602
21.6%

Mix: Who buys things in stores nowadays? Use that wacky information superhighway that everyone keeps talking about.
Fargo: You'll find me in a tent outside awaiting the store to open.
radium: I'll look at it and say, "hmm... it's out."
Fragmaster: I'll buy it, store napkins in the tin can, and toast a bagel for good luck.
Hellchick: Probably wet myself.

Idiot Poll Question: How can Pikachu masturbate if his arms are so short?

Answer Votes
Percentage
 
He uses a stick.
311
11%
He uses his tail.
553
19.6%
I am 11 years old so I don't know what that means.
195
6.9%
You're sick.
678
24%
I'm sure Craig K. gives him help.
1077
38.2%

Mix: Ummm. Scary.
Fargo: Pikachu has no reproductive organs; there's a finite number of Pikachu that never changes, and they never die, they just "fall down" or get "knocked out."
radium: Is this a trick question?
Fragmaster: Pikachu would never do something so dastardly! Besides, with Sluggo around...
Hellchick: I believe Masters & Johnson already covered this question in detail, thanks.


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