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    PlanetQuake | Articles | Quakescopes: Desktop Readings
   

Desktop Readings for May 19 - May 25, 2003
The mystical powers never stop!
— by Jube


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Blatant taunting of the j(.)(.)b!

Profile for Elzooi: Oh me oh my. Not only did you send me an anime desktop background, but you actually LAUGHED about sending me anime! You people really have it in for me, don't you? Haven't I paid for my sins enough already? Grrr. And by the way, that dude is in desperate need of a haircut. I couldn't remember where you were from, so I Googled your recycle bin, aka "prullenbak". Came up with a bunch of .nl sites and I actually understood three whole words from the first site. "Wat ik nu weer vond in mijn prullenbak..." What, I and My, impressive huh? ;) Yes, I've been shamelessly hitting on someone from The Netherlands for a while now, and during that time I learned three whole words. But before you start thinking I'm all clever and stuff... I just realized that my Googling was just a big waste of time, since I could have just looked at your damn email address and saved myself the trouble. My crystal ball is laughing at me now. On to the reading stuff. It appears that you're a decent gamer with above average skill level. Regardless of your anime related cruelty, the crystal ball tells me that you're a very generous and charitable person (I think it's lying though). If you were a Star Trek character you'd be Nelix from Voyager... good hearted (except to me ;), good natured, witty, and very hairy. You also like to keep scented soaps in your underwear drawer so you'll stay feeling fresh all day long. Your lucky number this week is 12. You hide back issues of Cosmopolitan under your mattress and you will become a male cheerleader.



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Pretty in pink... undies.

Profile for FragBait: Frag! How goes it my compadre? I've seen you pop into IRC a few times, but I've been an idle IRC slacker lately. :( Another variation of the flag capturing kitty! Considering my recent Ninja stylings in the desktop readings, I'm going to have to give this slogan the thumbs up! "Every time you masturbate a ninja chops the head off a kitten and doesn't even care." Hehe, that's just bad, but bad in a kind of good way. ;) Let's see what the crystal ball has to say about you today... Apparently if you were a Star Trek character you'd be Captain Picard. Short 'n bald but dedd sexxxy! You make extra money by selling your organs and bodily fluids. You dig Leggo. The animal which most closely represents your characteristics would be the Cottontail Bunny. Cute, faithful, gentle, passionate, diplomatic, timid, skittish, sometimes impatient and manipulative. You think your knowledge of gaming impresses women, you're wrong of course. You want to try on women's underwear. You've convinced yourself it's just a "comfort" thing. So who's this "Janet Lucas" on your desktop? Hmm? HMM? Maybe she'll let you try on her underwear. Your lucky number this week is 17. Your favourite TV show is Dawson's Creek. Shame on you.



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Some laptop lovin'.

Profile for dev/null: Hello Mr. Null (or as I shall refer to you today, in true Star Trek fashion... "three of six")! Get it? Star Trek, the Borg, three of six desktop readings? Ha! I slay me. Okay, it's not funny, I realize that, but I'm easily amused. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT! So apparently we have your laptop desktop here... and the poor little thing is apparently neglected because it only has one purpose... school related work. *sniff* I feel bad for it really. Hmm wait, what's this then? "faceless.txt" and "grotesque.txt"? What the hell are you taking in school? :) Anyway, the Star Trek character you can most be likened to is Deanna Troi. Analytical and easily aroused! Don't get too into character though, I really don't think you'd suit the tight outfits. You enjoy listening to the Village People. The crystal ball tells me that you are fairly sociable and have probably been in a clan at some point. However, you'd also be voted most likely to miss a clan match because you'd rather be taking a long luxurious bubble bath. Of course for fear of sounding like a wuss, you'd tell the group that you were out getting drunk. You have a foot fetish. Your lucky number this week is 22. You are a bit of a pyromaniac and you once blew off an eyebrow while playing with fire crackers. The animal in which you share the most characteristics with would be the Swan. Sophisticated idealistic, attentive, gentle, understanding, elusive, flighty and sometimes uneven, snooty and inscrutable. One day you will make a top selling documentary on the legendary Bigfoot.




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