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    PlanetQuake | Articles | Quakescopes: Desktop Readings
   

Desktop Readings for April 26 - May 2, 2004
The mystical powers never stop!
— by Jube


 - click for full size image
Like a virgin...

Profile for Shennon: Wow, I think we may actually have a desktop reading virgin here. Don't see many of them these days! Anyhoo... interesting desktop. Everything is hidden except for some crappy icons. I'd have rather seen a nice little spread of game related icons, but at least you're trying to be creative. Considering the icons that you do have presented, I'd say that porn plays a rather large role in your life. Maybe even a little webcam hanky panky happening there. *gasp* Anyway, interesting desktop. "Less is more" they often say. Of course we're not quite sure who "they" are. A romantic episode will take you by surprise. Tip: the important thing to remember when dealing with circus performers, is not to suggest having a "fling." Good day to try impressing someone in authority. Why not show them how good you are at making under-arm noises? That's always good for making a lasting impression. You think you're a decent rapper. You're not. It's pretty damn bad actually. It's time for a change of cologne. Seriously. If you ignore everything else in this reading, fine, just don't ignore the cologne thing. Today you will be "mooned" by a cat. Fortunately, you won't notice. Beware of bubonic plague today. Other than that, things will be fairly normal. Fortune will smile upon you today. Actually, it's more of a smirk. You should give your car a name, so people will be more impressed when you give them a ride. I think you should call yours "The Federation Starship Intrepid." And always do that little two-finger wave and say "engage" when you start off. Your lucky number this week is 28. Your lucky tissue this week is unused.



 - click for full size image
The deer hunter.

Profile for phait: w00t! Phat new connection, phat new computer and a new desktop to go with it! That's a good picture of Jennifer Garner, if I were a guy I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers. You may also be a fan of Alias, such as myself. Don't you just love how every episode ends with something new and exciting? At the end of each one I'm always sat there ohhhhing and ahhhhing with my mouth hanging open. Gotta lubs it. So apparently you've been trying out a lot of game demos and what have you, now that you've got your fancy schmancy upgrades 'n stuff. But I could have saved you the trouble on the "Deer Hunter 4" thing there. Did you know that there's actually a PlanetDeerHunter? *boggle* You will burn the roof of your mouth on pizza this month, it won't be the first time either. At your next social gathering wear a jock strap on your head for big laughs. You will be conducting naval maneuvers in the bathtub today, when you will have an unfortunate accident involving your toy submarine. The visit to the emergency room will be most embarrasing. Today you will discover a really cool technique of whistling through your nose. Oddly, nobody will be terribly enthusiastic about your new talent. Some say you're strange, others call it quirky, but any way you look at it, wearing nipple clamps to bed is just downright freaky. Don't lose hope! Conditions like yours are painful and embarassing, but often clear up on their own. Time to stop beating around the bush. Beat the bush itself. Give it a good thrashing, and say "bad bush!" in a loud stern tone. Your lucky number this week is 28, but Shennon there above you has the same lucky number this week so you'll have to share.




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