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    PlanetQuake | Articles | Quakescopes: Desktop Readings
   

Desktop Readings for May 3 - May 9, 2004
The mystical powers never stop!
— by Jube


Note: If you don't see your desktop reading this week, be sure to watch for it next week!


 - click for full size image
The Brothers Grim

Profile for Sash: Hello! Well you sure went desktop happy this week, didn't you? Not only did you send me your desktop, but you sent me your brother's (does he even know he's in the hot seat for a reading? ;)) and another older desktop of your own (not displayed). All three are quite decent, I suppose I'll still have to give out an award here for the best... If I give the award to your brother are you going to beat him up? Because that could be kinda fun to watch. ;) Hmm let me see here... I have to say I prefer your desktop, so congrats, you win this week's "Best Dressed Desk Award"! Let's get on with the show now. Oh magical, mystical crystal ballage, please give us some insight on Sash... In the gaming department, your skills will be running a little luke-warm this week. You won't suck as bad as me, but things are still not quite in your favour. You will have trouble with the telephone, in which, no matter what number you call, you reach "Mo's Leather Emporium." Don't take it lightly. Grow a beard, just be careful not to lose your dinner in it. Just incase you were considering it, don't go over Niagara Falls in a barrel this month. Next month is much better for barreling. You will meet a lady in red. Beware of kitty litter. If you act now, you could be the first on your block to have an actual moat and a working drawbridge. Something to consider. Your lucky cheese is Guda. The video game character you are most like is Chell from Elite Force. Not to say you're a Star Trek geek or anything. But uhm you're probably a Star Trek geek. Okay there I said it, knowing is part of the battle. Chell is of the Bolian race and he's blue. Blue is cool. Therefore you are also cool. And stuff. Your lucky number this week is 927812371612786. Today is an especially bad day to try something new involving explosives. Try to keep a low profile.



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Surprise Reading

Profile for Ipas: Hello there brother of Sash whom probably has no clue that he's getting a desktop reading today! Did you know that your brother Sash has been snooping around in your computer and taking pictures of your set up to send in to PlanetQuake? Well I guess if you didn't know, you do now! By the way, what's up with that pot leaf on your big bro's set up? He's a stoner isn't he? He's probably sitting in the next room right now all dazed and confused surrounded by lava lamps and listening to Pink Floyd, isn't he? Okay, enough about your bro, let's see what the crystal ball has to say about YOU! You will discover the secret to becoming a great artist! You can stick anything you want on the wall, the trick is to make people think deep thought went into it. For example, spray-paint a bathroom plunger gold, and stick little angel wings on it. Call it "Life In The Details." "There once was a man from Nantucket...", that limerick was actually written about you in your last life. But like they say... "you can't bring it with you". You will think of something hysterically funny, but not have anyone to tell it to. You will have a passionate love affair with an imaginary woman. You will be smoking hot on the battlefield this week... assuming you play on newbie servers. So get out there and kick some n00b ass, we know you want to! The video game character you are most likely to be mistaken for is Kyle Katarn from Jedi Outcast. Yes it's true, you have the force young jedi, and you must avenge your father and save the galaxy. Plus Kyle looks like he'd have a hairy back, and the crystal ball is betting you have a hairy back as well. Pierced body parts will end in tears. Get a tattoo instead. Perhaps a big full back Bambi. The chicks will dig it.




Send your desktop to Jube for a personalized reading!

Like it, love it, hate it? Tell us how the Quakescopes have changed your gaming lives with some feedback.


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