Quake Haiku
July 1997

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July, 1997:

- I've got him in sight,
- WHAT IN THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!
- I HATE GOD DAMNED LAG!
----
RaNsAx

- I kill many now
- Too bad I have no rockets
- Then I'd kill some more
----
Lord Invincible

- What a life it is
- To reap what I do not sow
- You wound, I finish.
----
Camara

- Stupid llama! You
- Cannot escape my detpack!
- Oops. Forgot to run.
----
[SOC]>PeYoTe

- Llama enters game,
- Asks, "How do I throw grenades?"
- Read the damn .txt file
----
[SOC]>PeYoTe

- You sit and you wait
- I'm on your trail, you camper
- Better watch your back
----
Park Ranger

- Open space I see,
- Campers everywhere shooting.
- BOOM they die. Hehe.
----
Spatula

- Vile minions of Hell!
- Come! Attack me if you dare!
- I'LL SCREW YOU TO DEATH!!
----
Barbarian

- So we meet again
- Don't you ever get tired
- Of losing to me?
----
Rhino[WM]

- The scourge of Introl
- Wooden Men are on attack
- Start whining, Detox!
----
Rhino[WM]

- Please feed me some ping
- Foolish, skill devoid player
- I'll still whoop your ass
----
Rhino[WM]

- Oh, that silly sound
- Of Quad, my rocket launcher
- You will soon be gibbed
----
Rhino[WM]

- Red dot frags again
- "Stupid camper!" is the cry
- Of the clueless one
----
Wyrm

- Alone with the key
- Sentry gun is my one friend
- It doesn't talk much
----
Wyrm

- Playing 2fort4
- Guy with key, "Why can't I score?"
- "Newbie, follow me."
----
Wyrm

- I hook far above,
- Dark shaft in House of Chthon.
- Ride the lift for me!
----
littlemute[WM]

- Server a chat-room!
- My macros end the babble,
- I am nuked again.
----
littlemute[WM]

- Lava-less level,
- The shame of negative frags.
- Reconnect again.
----
littlemute[WM]

- I Quake in silence,
- Until I crow at a kill,
- Or must show respect
----
AxeMan808

- I run the dark halls
- Lone wolf in terrible place
- Soon, the Klan arrives....
----
AxeMan808

- You chew my boomstick
- My shaft goes up your butt crack
- My frag count goes up
----
immortal

- White flash thunder clap
- Clouds to nowhere pass and pass
- Mortal coil unbound.
----
Mothman

- Grappled onto me?
- Let's go swim in the lava!
- Dumb flag carrier
----
Hawaiian Lion

- Killed the RL guy
- A teammate grabs his backpack
- Wish teamplay was off
----
Hawaiian Lion

- Ziggurat rain dance
- Heaven opens to release
- Slow motion gib rain
----
Kuffs.US

- I'm trigger happy
- I don't hesitate to gib
- Now I need rockets
----
immortal

- Prepare to get spanked
- Quad and Pent and Eyes with shaft
- You got sliced and diced
----
immortal

- I gib you so fast
- You swallow my Quad rocket
- DOH -- I met the wall
----
immortal

- Why doesnt he die
- I shoot him repeatedly
- OOPS! teamplay is on

- You rocket camper
- I've got a grenade launcher
- Revenge is a bitch
----
THUNDERGOD

- It's been three whole months
- Since I last played in deathmatch
- I still get first place
----
THUNDERGOD

- Playing on offense
- Blasting rockets at the blue
- As I reach their key
----
Industrial Death Maiden

- I am almost there
- Frantically running down ramp
- Enemy waiting
----
Industrial Death Maiden

- Passion and fury
- Hues of red and algae green
- Lime sherbet is good.
----
Theseus

- Quakaine, Quaroin
- Quarystal meth, Quaxtasy
- Which is the real drug?
----
Theseus

- Oww, that hurt my head.
- Blood and gibs drip on the floor.
- I fell out of chair.
----
Theseus

- Low ping or high ping?
- Let you kill your own damn self.
- You really do suck.
----
Theseus

- Honey, be right back!
- In a state of bliss I frag
- Beats a cigarette.
----
Mothman

- Gothic dungeon dark
- Oil lamps cast my path in fear
- Lunch Quake beats eating
----
Mothman

- Amidst all this death
- I am serene. Pentagram.
- Quad. Who wants pookie?
----
Mothman

- Got the nailgun
- Woohoo! Rapid Firepower!
- Eat Nine Inch Nails!
----
Enzo

- Impulse 1, what's this?
- You are so close, reach out, touch
- axhit1.wav
----
insane

- Leaping falling fast
- Three rockets find their mark...What!?!
- Glowing, you frag me.
----
Mothman

- A moth flits to flame
- My cocoon will wrap you in
- A world of whoop-ass
----
Mothman

- High ping Low ping Pong
- Ping does not kill you; I do.
- Low ping High ping Pong
----
HepCat

- "You would not be good
- if you did not have low ping!"
- Sick of this ping shit.
----
HepCat

- Why aren't you scared?
- I have the Quad and rockets
- Oh, you're Pentagrammed
----
Hawaiian Lion

- I'm still guarding base
- Barely survived an onslaught
- I refuse to die
----
Hawaiian Lion

- Rockets from shadows
- Hits from behind and above
- A fucking camper.
----
HepCat

- Stinging pains pierce you
- Body falling lifelessly
- I take what's not mine
----
Gripp

- Fire flame cursed hell
- Horry hosts laugh as they team
- Hunt my lonely butt
----
Mothman

- Hut hut blam blam waaaah
- Hut splash gulp gulp blaaah blaaah gasp
- Strafe strafe woosh gurgle.
----
[kO].GibbingZoe

- Twilight of gibbage
- Gurgling cries fill my ears
- Silent death stalking.
----
[kO].GibbingZoe

- I see you hiding
- There, rocket launcher in hand
- Take my shaft camper.
----
[kO].GibbingZoe

And now, a three-part series entitled "The Medic Cycle" by Acorn

- He comes for the flag,
- The scout speeds right on past me,
- Laughing all the way.

- I only hit once,
- But thanks to tropical plague,
- That is all I need.

- He gets to the bridge,
- Starts to choke and gasp and wheeze,
- And will laugh no more.
----
Acorn

- "Help at the flag, Blue!"
- I wait. No one comes. I die.
- Nice teamwork, fellahs.
----
Acorn

- "Hit me with the axe?
- I will frag your stupid ass!"
- I'm a Medic, Jerk.
----
Acorn

- "Back so soon?", you ask
- overconfident bastard
- you will pay for it
----
Talmanes

- Swirling dance of death
- Quad nails rip me apart
- Vengeance will be mine
----
Talmanes

- I find the laucher.
- I discover enemy.
- Giblets go flying.
----
Zapf

- Still in shadows hide,
- clad in cheap dark skin, waiting...
- "Lame" reaches new heights.
----
HepCat

- It's 'cause of low ping
- that you're winning... You're cheating!
- A loser's whining
----
HepCat

- I'm not cheating, dick.
- Just accept your lack of skill
- and shut the hell up.
----
HepCat

- Nails and rockets fly
- O beauteous dance of gibs
- What a sight to see!
----
Allanon-DMOS

- Brothers fight in war
- I sit out this round- wish to
- See glorious gibs
----
Allanon-DMOS

- I grab the Blue flag
- As I run I find no help
- Teammates are selfish
----
Allanon-DMOS

- Looking for DM's
- Can't find any cool Mods, oh damn
- Back to CTF
----
BoB

- Just got the most frags
- HA! Nothing can stop me now!
- Oops, I'm late for class
----
Hawaiian Lion

- Hit from left, then right.
- Gibbed until I want to scream.
- I've got to play more.
----
Talmanes

- Cheat codes make it cake.
- Dumb cousin thinks he can play.
- Feh. Eat this, punk ass.
----
Talmanes

- "Go left. No, RIGHT here."
- "Now jump! Oh god! Run for it!"
- Gibbed. "Listen next time!"
----
Talmanes

- Chainsaw rips flesh -- scream
- Dad is playing Quake again
- Hey Dad! Die again?
----
Talmanes

- I See You Camper!
- LOCKED ON, Prepare To Die, DIE!!!!
- Shit. Lagged. Now I'm Dead.
----
PhatGuy

- The sound I know well.
- Circle-strafing your quad ass.
- Scream as you die. Grin.
----
WarPig

- Running the maze long.
- The pattern I keep is tight.
- Gib your lost asses.
----
WarPig

- Sudden displacement
- Quad rocket man flies to wall
- Spreading comedy.
----
HepCat

- Large pools lay witness
- to drawn-out dance of rockets
- And water-filled lungs.
----
HepCat

- My bladder will burst.
- But I have my trusty mop!
- Get to fifty first!
----
Theseus

- Swirling lava pit
- A llama freely jumps in.
- Death by frustration
----
HepCat

- Got a new SpaceOrb
- Walking like a drunken ape
- in Quake. Need Practice!
----
Penalty Shot==o

- Eerie, haunting sound
- of the awaiting slipgate.
- What lies beyond it?
----
Penalty Shot==o

- Damned is the newbie
- teammate who shoots my backside
- Thou wilt stay clanless.
----
[DV]Burketron

- Rocket jump to say
- To the snipers of the world
- "Your dot annoys me."
----
[DV]Burketron

- Oh sentry on high
- How do I kill thy fury?
- I MIRV thee silly.
----
[DV]Burketron

- Keys, keys, everywhere
- A llama I used to be
- Enlightened by mice.
----
[DV]Burketron

- I am bound to cap
- flag in hand I run firing
- as the phone jack kills...
----
[DV]Burketron

- Skipping on the bridge
- oh gee what is that red dot?
- Sniper sends his love.
----
[DV]Burketron (teamfortress)

- Sniper took the roks
- Scampering away with glee
- Shoot him in the back!
----
[DV]Burketron

- What the hell is this?
- Basho says of Quake "Haiku."
- Rolls over in grave.
----
HepCat

- e1m1 blues
- bodies below rocket room
- lame ass camper scum
----
HepCat

- focus on low ping
- trivializing the skill
- HPB whining
----
HepCat

- "You have a low ping!"
- Cry!! My frags beat yours by tons
- You must suck big dick!
----
Theseus

- Love many-splendored
- cannot compare with a kill
- by rocket-juggling
----
furtive

- Only one rocket
- Two guys coming after me
- Better make it count
----
Hawaiian Lion

- Quad and Pentagram
- RL and Strength at point blank
- Boy, that must have hurt
----
Hawaiian Lion

- chew my pineapple
- dishcarge into the water
- you were nailed by ploop
----
ploop

- death from unknown spot
- the peril of FvF
- gib the damn sniper
----
ploop

- Waiting with rocket.
- Sudden noise behind me, Fire!
- The wall was too close.
----
StaticEngine

- I love my girlfriend,
- my family, car, and Quake, but
- not in that order.
----
StaticEngine

- Call in sick again
- Another late night gibbing
- No fear. Salaried.
----
StaticEngine

- My nail fury flies
- As I dodge your llama-gun.
- Use rockets no more!
----
Grendel

- Damn quadded rocket
- Another easy kill scored
- But I will be back
----
Grendel

- High Ping Bastard Boy
- Your T1 makes me sick -- as
- I stand motionless.
----
Grendel

- Methinks God is Thee...
- Left the game with many frags;
- Yet ungibbed at war.
----
PataLode

- People who have no
- Lag deserve to eat rockets
- Shoved up their fat ass
----
Hadoken

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